Discussions just kind of stopped with GF...

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by YOU MAD, Mar 19, 2010.

  1. YOU MAD

    YOU MAD OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2004
    Messages:
    16,593
    Likes Received:
    50
    Location:
    Philadelphia
    Me and this girl have been dating for about four months now... We got really serious about two months ago, but now all of a sudden the last few times we've hung out something just didn't seem right. Me and her actually talked about this because we both agreed something was just off... While hanging out we weren't talking about anything, conversation wasn't flowing, etc... Like I said something just seems off. I feel like I don't know WTF to talk to her about anymore....

    On-top of this she called me out a few days ago because I'm not "opening up" and she feels I can't be serious with her. I admit she does have a point there..

    I dunno, It's just weird because we hit it off really well when we first started dating; but now all of a sudden we have nothing to talk about... I really like her too, we just hit a stale point and I don't know where to go from here.
     
  2. YOU MAD

    YOU MAD OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2004
    Messages:
    16,593
    Likes Received:
    50
    Location:
    Philadelphia
    Anyone ever experience this, or have any tips to get through this?
     
  3. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 11, 2007
    Messages:
    30,849
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Rhode Island
    No interest?
     
  4. THoC

    THoC New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 5, 2007
    Messages:
    7,341
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    TRampa, FL
    nothing to talk about?

    after you date a girl for X amount of time you may run out of meaningful convos. but just like a friend you can always have shit to talk about.

    am i missing something?
     
  5. YOU MAD

    YOU MAD OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2004
    Messages:
    16,593
    Likes Received:
    50
    Location:
    Philadelphia
    The thing is the interest is 100% there with both parties... I literally don't know what to do or where to go from here...

    The first couple dates we went on were just me and her, ya know the first date kinda thing.. I learn about her, she learns about me etc.. and things went along just fine.

    The dates after that we went out to bars together with other friends and had tons of fun. We got stupid drunk basically every time and had a great time. I met her friends, she met mine, and things went along great.

    She told me the other day that "she has a boyfriend she barely knows" and it's really bothering her. She's admittedly a very emotional and passionate person, and I'm not as easy to get to that level. I think I'm beginning to frustrate her? I just don't know how to fix this...
     
  6. YOU MAD

    YOU MAD OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2004
    Messages:
    16,593
    Likes Received:
    50
    Location:
    Philadelphia
    I agree.... It's so fucking weird - me and her are two of the most outgoing people you'll ever meet, but for some reason these past few times we've hung out it's been stale.

    However, we're fully attracted to each other - the sex is great, and still was even after those last few times we hung out...

    It's so fucking weird.. I'm really at a loss here.
     
  7. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 11, 2007
    Messages:
    30,849
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Rhode Island

    What do you do for a living? What line of work are you in? Is it something you generally do by yourself or are you always around/talking to other people?

    I mean, im dating a girl who works in the same building as me and her and I always have something to talk about despite seeing each other daily :dunno:
     
  8. Aronomy

    Aronomy Get your COME ON!

    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2006
    Messages:
    1,797
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    San Clemente, CA
    Stressing about it will only further the problem. Start off with a clean slate (in your mind) next time you meet and maybe pick up a local magazine/paper or listen to music and talk about something you notice. Anything can lend itself to story telling time, and that's what the majority of conversation is.
     
  9. Thelonius

    Thelonius New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 8, 2008
    Messages:
    2,826
    Likes Received:
    0
    Hmm..could just be a few off days for both of you..but I dunno. My gf and I have pretty much heard all each others stories, major opinions etc...but we can still talk and bullshit about nothing really, and enjoy it.
     
  10. YOU MAD

    YOU MAD OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2004
    Messages:
    16,593
    Likes Received:
    50
    Location:
    Philadelphia
    That's our big separation point. There's nothing that goes on in my line of work that she can relate to, and vice versa. She just graduated college and is a waitress, I have the usual out-of-college entry level corporate position.

    the big thing is, my job is a major part of my life and consumes a lot of my time yet there's nothing to really talk to her (or anyone for that matter) about because it's just a mundane position with nothing special going on - just long hours.
     
  11. YOU MAD

    YOU MAD OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2004
    Messages:
    16,593
    Likes Received:
    50
    Location:
    Philadelphia
    these last few times we hung out really bothered her though... she's frustrated at me for not opening up, she's angry because "things haven't progressed" after four months....

    I'm too laid back for her I think, and it bothers her.
     
  12. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

    Joined:
    Jun 14, 2003
    Messages:
    18,807
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Ontario
    You've been together for 4 months. 2 of which have had this issue. Why are you guys together?

    I hate being the douche that says you should break up. But why would you force something to work when you two obviously aren't very compatible?

    If you were compatible conversation would be a sinch.
     
  13. YOU MAD

    YOU MAD OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2004
    Messages:
    16,593
    Likes Received:
    50
    Location:
    Philadelphia
    we didn't hit this issue until the past TWO times we hung out, not past two months....

    It's like all of a sudden something snapped and changed.
     
  14. peoplescar

    peoplescar Guest

    sounds like neither of you are into eachother.

    by bye
     
  15. YOU MAD

    YOU MAD OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2004
    Messages:
    16,593
    Likes Received:
    50
    Location:
    Philadelphia
    the thing is WE ARE into each other... She's actually kind-of obsessed with me. I can't explain the sudden change, but we both noticed it and want to fix it.
     
  16. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

    Joined:
    Jun 14, 2003
    Messages:
    18,807
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Ontario
    Oh, that's different, ignore my previous post.

    Go do something fun the next time you see her. Not typical movie night fun, but something you two haven't done yet. Something that can work as the conversation piece and maybe help make you two reconnect.

    I'm not sure what to recommend, but even something like Medieval times or a spring fair or whatever.

    Obviously doing something like this isn't going to fix your issue, but I find often when people obsess over problems it only makes it harder to overcome. If you guys kind of forget about it by doing something to take your mind off of it (and you make more of an effort to open up to her) it'll make it easier to fix things IMO.
     
  17. giapia

    giapia Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you re

    Joined:
    Jun 19, 2005
    Messages:
    7,065
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    SoCal
    you've only been dating for four months. there is no way you two can know everything about each other already. i think i skimmed a part where she said she barely knows you? looks like you guys have a whole host of things to talk about!
     
  18. peoplescar

    peoplescar Guest

    Well do you guys do anything besides just relax and hang out?

    go to a sports event or a museum or something. get all dressed up and go out to a nice dinner.

    come on man.
     
  19. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

    Joined:
    Jun 14, 2003
    Messages:
    18,807
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Ontario
    :werd:
     
  20. YOU MAD

    YOU MAD OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2004
    Messages:
    16,593
    Likes Received:
    50
    Location:
    Philadelphia
    All we did when we first started going out was go to a ton of nice restaurants, get dressed up, etc...

    The last time we hung-out was 2 days ago and we just sat outside all day at a side-walk restaurant eating and drinking. Exactly what we had done a million times before, only we had nothing to fucking talk about.

    so goddman bizarre - she's def. getting mad at me not opening up to her and I think that was her making a point about it
     
  21. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2004
    Messages:
    65,689
    Likes Received:
    495
    Location:
    In a van down by the river
    Dude, not every moment you spend together is going to be like ultra fun, flowing, and wonderful. It's a natural bump in any relationship that lasts longer than a month is that some days you are just "off". It doesn't mean anything about the relationship. It just means that you probably need some time to recharge and that you're just having a little off moment.

    It'll pass. But only if you don't sit around and focus on it.
     
  22. CalicoJackie

    CalicoJackie New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2010
    Messages:
    2,638
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    SFV
    :werd:
    Are you sure you're not still in it just because she's hot?
     
  23. Genghis.Tron

    Genghis.Tron New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 14, 2002
    Messages:
    5,188
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Great White North
    Not opening up... Sounds like it's the reason why you don't have much to say. Just telling what happened in your life before meeting her is enough to sustain a year-long discussion. If you add to that feelings and reactions to those things would be enough to fulfill a lifetime.
    You guys have any hobbies?
     
  24. Genghis.Tron

    Genghis.Tron New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 14, 2002
    Messages:
    5,188
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Great White North
    Reminds me that there are 3 components to relationships : passion (sex), commitment and intimacy (companionship or friendship). Seems like the relationship encompasses the first two but is exempt of the last one.
     
  25. peoplescar

    peoplescar Guest

    well i think you need to realize that a long term relationship isn't going to be like the first 3-5 months of a relationship. you aren't going to be going out all the time. do yo do things on your own or are you always together?
     

Share This Page