Discussion About Long Distance Relationships

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by sportsjunkie, Dec 26, 2006.

  1. sportsjunkie

    sportsjunkie OT Supporter

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    So I met someone from on-line (on OT to be exact :) ) and we live about 3-4 hours away. We both want to be in a relationship. He's all for the LD and he feels that we can work through it; but I don't know why I feel so hesistant about entering in a LD relationship with him :hs:

    I think I'm using school as an excuse (although I'll be super busy this upcoming semester), but then my weekends are mainly free, so I realy shouldn't be using it as an excuse.

    I just don't want the distance to be a problem for us and with our conflicting schedules:hsd:
    Has anyone ever been in a LD relationship and has it turned out for the best or for the worst?

    any/all comments are appreciated; feel free to ask me questions that may help as well :bigthumb:
     
  2. kiz

    kiz New Member

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    i'm currently in a LDR and it's not bad if both of you are truly commited and willing to make the effort. I'm glad that I tried it out instead of saying "oh ldrs are automatically doomed" and missing out on a lot of great experiences.
     
  3. Mizzark

    Mizzark OT Supporter

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    I'm not saying not to do it, but I've been in one and it didn't work out. Over time your schedules will conflict. Every now and then you will need to study on the weekends and you won't be able to spend time with him. If your relationship grows, you will want to spend more time together. If you're not able to work that out when that time arrives, you may have problems. Also, it is really stressful when you make plans to spend time together and they fall through. One or both of you will be very disappointed and frustrated. There are just numerous problems that arise with not having the option of being together whenever you want.
     
  4. sportsjunkie

    sportsjunkie OT Supporter

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    I hear ya on that...I've thought about the same things

    I keep thinking that we won't see one another for weeks at a time and then he or I may end up flirting with someone or doing something we may regret :noes:

    I mean, I've never cheated, but it's scary to think about it.
     
  5. Mizzark

    Mizzark OT Supporter

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    Yeah, everyone is human. Physical contact is a must for a healthy relationship, and it's impossible to get a healthy amount of contact in a long distance relationship. The strength of the emotional bond will only last so long before your relationship will require more.
     
  6. armond

    armond New Member

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    I dunno how many miles I am away from my G/F, I am in Kuwait, she is in Texas. But we are solid as a rock and keeping it going.

    You have to give it a go before you can totally disregard the idea. You two have met before? Maybe at one of the meats? LOL Cool you have someone on OT you are considering.

    As a few others have said, you both have to beon the same page.
     
  7. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    I lived apart from my first wife (before we were married) for 9 months.

    During this time, we saw each other 2 weekends a month. It was the best sex of the 7 year relationship (except for when she was trying to get me back after dumping me).

    From my perspective, the worst part was having to talk on the phone every day. I hate the phone, and for me it was torture to have to put together a long phone convo every day.

    I enjoyed the time to myself and the mind-blowing sex, those were plusses. The daily phone conversations were hell.
     
  8. The Secretary

    The Secretary My domestic skills will rock your socks off!

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    been doing the ldr thing for 3 years next month. Its so difficult, but if you feel that he is worth it then go for it.
     
  9. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    sounds weak to me
     
  10. Chris90210

    Chris90210 New Member

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    Just like everyone has said if you are both up for the job go for it. You can read up on all the problems possible with a LDR but most likely you will discover a completely new and unique set of problems that fit better with your relationship/environment. Just always keep in mind. People say communication is key to any relationship. In your case it will be the relationship. Just remember to enjoy yourself and if it works out it works out. If not don't worry about it and go on with life. Good luck though:)
     
  11. intoxique1

    intoxique1 New Member

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    Honesty, Trust, Maturity, and communication, you have to have 'em...I've tried the whole LD thing twice, and i don't think I'll ever do it again. Works for some people though, and if it makes you happy have at it!
    good luck regardless
     
  12. sportsjunkie

    sportsjunkie OT Supporter

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    :mamoru: we just started talking via OT, then AIM...then we met up while he was moving back East. And then we met again

    I lost my virginity to him :o
     
  13. drjamima

    drjamima Active Member

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    Not having been in one directly, I can't speak out of experience, but everyone I've known that's gotten involved with them for one reason or another has failed. That's not saying that it would for you, but takes alot to make a relationship work anyway, and it's just added stress that can exacerbate things.
     
  14. drjamima

    drjamima Active Member

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    :werd:
     
  15. Guz200sx

    Guz200sx The man who does more than he is paid for will soo

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    I'm someone that greatly desires that physical aspect of a relationship so even though I've had the chance to pursue a couple of LDR's I've been skeptical about it because of this. The emotional & mental aspect will only take you so far in the relationship.

    I agree though with what others have said about both needing to commit fully. In my case, I don't know if I could if the other person was far away. In my case, the other person has been 5-6hrs away which is a lot. IMHO, 3-4hrs isn't that. If you guys take turns alternating the visits then it won't be so bad. And meeting up halfway is even better for the first couple of weeks/months or whatever.

    I'll also say don't walk away from something or someone regretting that you didn't take the chance because I have done this and I feel terrible about it....so many chances I could have had and i didn't take them because I was scared of the failure. If you take the chance and enter into this relationship then it could be the best thing ever and if you don't take the chance you may always think WHAT IF....But then again if you do take the chance and it fails then at least you won't be regretting NOT taking the chance and just chalk it up to experience in life.
     
  16. LordOvenMitt

    LordOvenMitt New Member

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    Ive been in one for a year and a half. It will be over in August though, thank god.
     
  17. sportsjunkie

    sportsjunkie OT Supporter

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    why? :(
     
  18. armond

    armond New Member

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    He/she will be reunited with a deployed s/o maybe? Taking a wild stab a it. Or perhaps someone finished school in a certain place away from home?
     
  19. huntz0r

    huntz0r New Member

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    LDR. Sucks.
     
  20. RubiconSahara

    RubiconSahara OT Supporter

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    If you gave up the v-card to him, might as well try it out. If it doesn't work in the end, it wasn't meant to be. If it goes well, then you found true love.
     
  21. Yes have some!

    Yes have some! Active Member

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    I dated my wife for 5 1/2 years long distance. 3+ hours between us when we were at home and at school. We have been together just about 10 years with no signs of letting up. We just tell people that it can be done. Both parties have to be committed, honest, trusting, and very good at communication.
     
  22. low20

    low20 Member

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    ive done it 2 times....both times were horrible, BUT botht imes were not in driving distance....3-4 hrs is a bit, but its not terrible and can be done on weekends...i was 3000 miles apart so it was much harder to see eachother...we made it thru 3 months, then she moved back home, but we broke up after 2 yrs...i think the LD kinda hurt the relationship and i think we might have been together still, if we didnt have LD at the beginning....oh well..its tough but its doable if u want it to work
     
  23. Phantom Empress

    Phantom Empress mmmmmm tasty!!!

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    Done it. tigre and I were LD for about 3 years till I finally moved back home. Mind you we'd been together for a whole summer then i went back up to school and then It was Once a month or so that we got to see each other. We were on the phone everyday with each other and we made the best effort to stay on the same wave length. tho for us it was different because we left the relationship open BECAUSE of the distance. As humans we tend fuck up and make mistakes due to that lack of contact. but if you are willing to make the effort and see each other often and keep the lines of communication open then it can work. :dunno:

    Give it a try, but don't suffer over it if it starts to go sour, just let it go and move on.
     
  24. Jimeigh

    Jimeigh Every rook and jay in the corvidae have been raven

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    in my experience, it's more trouble than it's worth in the end.
     
  25. sportsjunkie

    sportsjunkie OT Supporter

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    hmm...I have actually thought about it being an open relationship
     

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