Dirty dancing or grinding

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by vietkangta, Dec 14, 2008.

  1. vietkangta

    vietkangta New Member

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    Whatever it may be called, but whenever my g/f's friends tell me that my g/f is a "little freak", and she has been dirty dancing, or grinding another guy, it makes me feel incredibly uncomfortable. She does this at high school dances. I'm in college. I was wondering if it was natural to feel this way. It is a very strange feeling, like something disturbing my heart and i don't like the feeling at all.

    Am i too weak minded? I don't like it when she dirt dances, but i just keep it to myself because whenever i tell her something serious she usually brushes it off. She always says i'm too "femine" or "girly" because i try to tell her how i feel about things concerning our relationship. I'm the type of guys who likes to talk things out and try to fix problems properly in the relationship. Our relationship is doing fine and we've been together for a while.

    Well, that's about it, i guess this is just ranting. i'm just not feeling very happy and conflicted.

    :sadwavey:
     
  2. Diesel66

    Diesel66 My standards for women is like rent-a-centers stan OT Supporter

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    Uh, yeah. I doubt most girls would be ok with their bfs getting lapdances from strange girls, but it's ok for this ?


    And why are you dating a girl in hs ?
     
  3. vietkangta

    vietkangta New Member

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    1 year younger.
     
  4. fray

    fray New Member

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    She's immature. End of story. There's nothing wrong with you feeling jealous about what she's doing. You should be able to discuss it without her resorting to defensiveness and insults.
     
  5. nish81

    nish81 OT Supporter

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    I'd say it is natural, yes

    she seems too immature, and you seem too mature for her
     
  6. andyf

    andyf New Member

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    If you are not feeling comfortable with her behavior then you can forget things and start your life from scratch…it also seems that your GF takes things very lightly and she don’t care for your feelings as my X-GF use to do ;) so LOVE one who LOVE you and respect your feelings… after all healthy relationship is based on UNDERSTANDING…. If she cant understand your feelings then just STOP before you get hurt……
     
  7. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    .

    The fact that she then tries to emasculate you just proves she's the one with the upper hand in the relationship. She doesn't respect you or the relationship in general because if you went out dancing and were grinding a chick I bet a million dollars she would FREAK out.

    She's not ready for a serious relationship like you seem to be, nor should you even bother in your first year of college with a chick in high school....
     
    Last edited: Dec 15, 2008
  8. yankeeschick14

    yankeeschick14 New Member

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    most of this I agree with, except the last statement. That part I've made work (I was a junior in HS when my SO went to college). Its possible if there's RESPECT, TRUST, and open COMMUNICATION in the relationship. You don't trust her because she hasn't given you a reason to, she doesn't respect you, and she has horrible communication skills because she insults you when you try and bring up things that are serious to you because you want to be an adult and have a serious relationship.
     
  9. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    Agreeing with what others have said. She has no right to be doing this if you two are exclusive.

    Give her a chance. Flat out tell her you feel disrespected by it, and that you would like it to stop. If she continues to do it, or insults you, leave. You don't need to be treated like that.

    She's what, 17 or 18? She likes having her cake and eating it too, that's exactly what she is doing now.
     
  10. Bob Brown

    Bob Brown bewshit, bewshit, bewshit

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    Honestly, I'm okay with my girl freak dancing with other dudes, as long as she knows her boundaries.

    I mean, am I jealous? sure a bit, but I don't let it get to me (too much) and start going insane. ANd yes, communication and mutual understanding between the two is a MUST !
     
  11. GammaRadiation

    GammaRadiation Active Member

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    You do understand that grinding for girls is like two steps before sex. It'd dry humping to music in public.

    If my GF EVER dances with another guy like that, it is over. Outright. My significant other doesn't intentionally give other guys erections by her own actions and choice.
     
  12. Alaya

    Alaya Active Member

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    Everybody's boundaries are different. If it's something that bothers you, then tell her. If she doesn't respect that, then you have a problem.
     
  13. mandrew

    mandrew New Member

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    expect that if you're going to date chicks in high school bro. it's a different state of mind.
     
  14. Drifter87

    Drifter87 Yippi-kay-ay, Motherfucker

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    She does not respect you, and I bet she would flip or be very passive aggressive if a woman gave you a lap dance.
     
  15. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    If it were me, I would find a gf who didn't grind on other guys.

    That's my relationship standard, tho. Others may disagree.

    btw, "vietkangta"... does kang ta mean something in Vietnamese or is it in reference to the kpop star KangTa (formerly of H.O.T. :mamoru: )
     
  16. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    I'm really not trying to be a dick here, but you are in a perpetual, never-ending, long distance relatinship with a guy who doesn't want a commitment. I wouldn't call that "working."

    ****

    Anyway, threadstarter, you are in your first year of college, she is in high school. Be realistic here. This isn't going anywhere serious, nor SHOULD it. For crying out loud, enjoy being young and enjoy your freedom and enjoy being single for a while. And see relationships for what they are in college/high school: learning experiences to help you mature.

    You're taking this relationship way too seriously and are expecting WAY too much out of a high school girl.

    Yeah, if she was 25 and grinding up on some guy, then yeah you have a point. But in high school? She probably doesn't see this relationship as anything more than some fun and she's going to enjoy our sexual freedom at that age. A guy like you, who gets bent out of shape over her grinding on some guy, will quickly get tossed to the side when you press a girl that young on it.

    My point? Stop taking your relationship so seriously at this age. Have fun while there is fun to be had.
     
  17. GammaRadiation

    GammaRadiation Active Member

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    While I agree with viper, I still hold my view that sexually exclusive is sexually exclusive.

    Grinding is like getting a hand job that doesnt get finished...and I dont consider giving hand jobs, on the dance floor or not, being sexually exclusive.

    If a girl were grinding on my thigh on the dance floor I'm pretty sure most girls who thought the relationship was sexually exclusive would have a hissy fit.

    I had a GF that was back in my home town when I went to college. I'll tell you: fuck that, it isnt worth it, she isnt your soul mate, and there are at least 100 girls willing to hop on your dick right now at any large university in the united states.
     
  18. 04JETTA

    04JETTA OT Supporter

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    shes insecure no question either move on or try to talk it out
     
  19. razi

    razi New Member

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    She might not know how to dance. Take her out and learn something cool with her.
     
  20. vietkangta

    vietkangta New Member

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    Itss a tribute to the kpop star, KangTa. He was my korean music idol, and the name was easy to remember.
     
  21. GammaRadiation

    GammaRadiation Active Member

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    Like real dancing.

    Dont get me wrong, I love grinding. But I know it isnt dancing. It's pseudo foreplay that society has made into an acceptable activity that you can just walk away from. Fulfilling sexual desires with out having sex.
     
  22. Ideotique

    Ideotique Drinking on monday nights does not make me an alco

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    Fuck, she'd be pissed if some girl did it to you

    Therefore get rid of her sorry arse.
     
  23. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    cool, dude. HOT (and kangta) was one of the first kpop bands i ever heard. thats about the time i got into kpop. they were always on TV along with young turks club, um jung hwa, turbo, juju club, etc.

    are you still into that scene?
     
  24. vietkangta

    vietkangta New Member

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    Not as much as i was back in high school. I just kind of listen to any music that sounds meaningful or good to me.
     
  25. k624ash

    k624ash New Member

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    Tell her how you feel and if she cant respect that then get rid of her.
     

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