SRS Dilemna

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Ickyarkman, Jun 30, 2007.

  1. Ickyarkman

    Ickyarkman New Member

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    Well here I go with another girl problem. This girl Aubrey well I'm definantly in love with her. I've known her for about a year now. Anyway heres my big dilemna....I can't tell her how i feel because my best friend likes her AND her best friend likes me.....This brings me back to Emily (her best friend) and I'm good friends with her, Emily still thinks i like her and if i were to ask Aubrey out she'd kill me.....so would my best friend Eric. well by now you see the big point. can anyone help?
     
  2. bigballofyarn

    bigballofyarn OT Supporter

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    Well Emily needs to know you don't have feelings for her "in that way." There's no reason for her to be getting the wrong idea about your relationship.

    There's no law that says you cant have an interest in someone your friend also likes. If he ever dated her, or was currently dating her, that would be completely different. I think you have every right to tell Aubrey how you feel about her, however so does your friend. Ultimately it's up to Aubrey to decide who is better for her and who she wants to date.

    You say her friend likes you. Do you have any feelings for her? If you don't, I suggest telling her. Yes, you may hurt her, but there's no need for her to have any false hope that one day you'll fall in love with her.
     
  3. luxy

    luxy OT Supporter

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    Odds are, if your friend has very strong feelings for her and you go after her, he will never forgive you. It's a very difficult thing to go through, because you end up losing two people close to you. Personally I wouldn't pursue it while he still has feelings for her, but I tend to put others' feelings ahead of my own (to a fault sometimes).
     
  4. Kirby McSpic

    Kirby McSpic New Member

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    However, if you feel that you NEED to get in a relationship with her, then by all means, whatever makes you happy. :dunno:
     
  5. Ickyarkman

    Ickyarkman New Member

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    The thing is....I don't care if I'm happy....I want Aubrey to be happy...If being with my friend makes her happy then thats what i want for her....I've confronted Aubrey about my friend. I simply asked if she liked him and her response is "A little, why do you ask?" I say "No reason" her quick reaction is to say "Did he say anything to you?" my final answer was "Of course not." I dont know what all this means. All i know is that I've never felt so strongly for somebody in my life, I would give her the world and more if only i could :( just thinking about it makes me sad. A few days later i ask a different friend of mine to do some snooping. While we were at the bowling alley a few days as a huge group I give Aubrey a bite of a candy bar i had bought called "Coffee Crisp". Later on the friend I had asked to do some snooping is walking with her to the vendor machines while Aubrey tells my friend Andrea (the one doin the snooping). well she sent me the convo and here it is.

    "ok well when was talking about that coffee thing and how i should buy her one i said didn't isaac give u his and she said no just a bite ah i need one then i said haha you like him and she didn't say anything, then went and talked to that one kid"...being Eric (my friend that likes her)

    I dont know what not saying anything means either but any more help?
     
  6. Kirby McSpic

    Kirby McSpic New Member

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    Then it's best you don't start anything. :hs:

    Just you talking to her about him and not yourself friendzoned you and if anything it shows that she does like him (see "Did he say anything about me?")
     
  7. 04JETTA

    04JETTA OT Supporter

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    tell the girl who likes you that you have feelings for some one else then tell the girl you like the truth as for your best friend you cant always be worried about other people in the end if its what makes you happy then go for it
     
  8. Ickyarkman

    Ickyarkman New Member

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    RAHHH thanks guys but i already went through those scenarios....either way im again left alone....someones gotta have some different advice
     
  9. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    confessing your feelings is not the way to go

    and those other girls liking you should not stop you from going after what you want
     
  10. Ickyarkman

    Ickyarkman New Member

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    why cant i tell her how i feel though! :( its killing me. Deep down i have this feeling that she likes me too....but her friend likes me....so she might be backing down because of it...what if she knew i liked her?! I think i need a womans touch to this topic
     
  11. Ickyarkman

    Ickyarkman New Member

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    can i bump my own threads? lol
     
  12. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    because confessing your feelings leads to her running the other direction 99% of the time

    and women will give you horrible advice, they will just tell you whatever they think will make you feel better
     
  13. Ickyarkman

    Ickyarkman New Member

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    why would she run in the other direction though!
     
  14. kEVOgt350

    kEVOgt350 Like a flashlight on but lost, my energy's there b

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    First off i would take bigballofyarn's advice and make your feeling toward Emily clear to her and everyone else. By doing so you will protect her from getting hurt down the road and it will also show Aubrey that you are "on the market" so to speak. Maybe from there you could build a closer relationship to Aubrey, but there is too much confusion going on right now for you to bring up your feelings for her.

    Take that first step, clear up the confusion, and go from there.
     
  15. Ickyarkman

    Ickyarkman New Member

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    Well my feelings toward Emily have again been cleared and she knows that i dont like her in that way. soooo next step lol
     
  16. kEVOgt350

    kEVOgt350 Like a flashlight on but lost, my energy's there b

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    Do you think she's over it? If Emily is in anyway butt hurt about it, Aubrey most likely will not consider anything with you until she is. It sucks, but you might have to wait until emotions die down.

    edit: The next step depends on how clear your friend has made his interest in her to you. Has he flat out told you he's interested or can you just tell? If he's made it clear then you may have to convice him just how much you want to be with her and maybe he'll let you go for it. You might have to sacrifice your love if they both want to be together and you want them both to be happy. If he has not made it clear to you then you have as much reason to be with her as he does. Talk to her more, get closer, and hope things grow from there.
     
    Last edited: Jul 3, 2007
  17. Ickyarkman

    Ickyarkman New Member

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    :-\ I miss her right now and I still dont know what I'm gonna do
     

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