SRS Did i miss something here?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Silvertone, Mar 13, 2007.

  1. Silvertone

    Silvertone New Member

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    okay so last night my girlfriend basically made me feel used (and shitty) and today i called her and spoke to her about it. She's been apologizing to me all night about it and i was just speaking to her (via IM) and this is what came out:

    Me: hey

    G/F: hi
    Me: how was crew today?
    G/F: long but awsome
    Me: [SIZE=-0]:)[/SIZE]
    Me: good
    G/F: i'm sooooo sorry about yesterday
    Me: its fine
    Me: i just needed to talk about it with you for a little for you to understand my situation... its fine, really
    Me: i understand you were in a shitty mood
    G/F: but thats not an excuse
    Me: okay
    Me: *Girlfriend's name*

    Me: i'm over it
    Me: i just wanted to talk to you about it
    G/F: i've been messing up more than once lately though
    G/F: and i get worried
    G/F: i don't like messing up or hurting you
    Me: mhmm
    G/F: and the last thing i want is for you to ever be hurt becuase i love you
    G/F: and if i dunno
    G/F: i think you deserve better than me
    Me: rachel
    Me: stop that

    Me: i love you
    Me and you are the best thing to happen to me
    G/F: ok i'm going to bed before i say something stupid
    Me: no no no
    Me: please
    G/F: good night
    Me: -_-
    Me: i love you
    Me: good night babe
    G/F: i love you too


    SIDE NOTE: Together for nearly 13 months now, and until this past weekend (she had a shitty saturday, and it carried over to sunday) we've been just fine.
     
  2. Redneck Shinobi

    Redneck Shinobi Well Jules, the funny thing about my back is that

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    LOL sounds like me after I said some mean shit to my girlfriend about her mom... Although you didn't stop talking to her for 3 days right? LOL
     
  3. Silvertone

    Silvertone New Member

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    no... i had a party saturday night and my ex-g/f (who i'm now friends with again) was sober D. G/f was supposed to be in NYC watching some musical and then shit hit the fan at her house and couldnt go to the city. I invite her along and warn her that the ex is gonna be there. I rearrange everything so she can come with my group of friends (we hit this coffee shop before the party) and i drove her home. all she could say was "having (ex) there made me feel akward" and then left.
     
  4. Redneck Shinobi

    Redneck Shinobi Well Jules, the funny thing about my back is that

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    oh LOL ouch... I guess jealousy is not so uncommon. I fight that shit everyday...
     
  5. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    I read once, when someone tells you that you are too good for them....believe it. I didn't want to believe it when I was dating my ex....but now I know...she was right.
     
  6. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    :werd:

    ...and it's going to come up again.
    G/F: i think you deserve better than me
    G/F: ok i'm going to bed before i say something stupid

    This is the classic Costanza "it's not you, it's me" breakup routine. She's setting the stage.
     
  7. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    lol yep..only a matter of time.

    In my case, it was my g/f cheating on me.
     
  8. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    The only interesting thing is if she's going to manage to make him feel bad about her doing it... "but you're so *good* it's hard to live up to your expectations! I mean, I'm just not strong like you blah blah blah."

    I feel bad for the guy but he's going to hear that (or some variation) in the coming weeks.
     
  9. Skeletor

    Skeletor Guest


    :werd: and who says that "it's me" has to be a lie? Maybe this chick seriously feels fucked up and like she can't be with somebody who she gets insanely jealous over or treats like shti when she's angry. :dunno:



    either way dude, I saw the same exact thing when I read that... this chick is trying to break up with you.
     
  10. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    thats what i read too

    which means this breakup has been in the works for at least two weeks, if not longer
     
  11. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    sorry about your luck dude. Hopefully you can learn some about this. Don't listen to what she says, it's all going to be cliche BS to make her feel better about things, by making her feel like she's being nice to you, etc. My recommendation is to examine the past few months and see if you cant pinpoint when things started to go wrong
     
  12. Silvertone

    Silvertone New Member

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    idk dude things havent been going wrong since our one yr anniversary (only a month ago) we had a great time and we were doing fine for the month (at least i thought so; if u guys are correct i guess i'm just bein blind)

    oh i forgot to mention; she was having her period this past week/weekend; could it be that? AND, even after the coffee shop, she was all over me on the way home to her house. She cant keep her hands off of me.
     
  13. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    LOL, her period isn't going to make her want to break up with you...she had her period through all the months when things were fine, and nothing bad happened.

    The signs are there. That "you deserve better than me" or "you're just settling, you can do better" are a justification to herself for the breakup. It doesn't hurt as much if you break up with someone because they deserve better...you are being noble and giving up what you want for the betterment of the other person.

    Keep us updated, but like we have all said, don't be surprised when she starts pulling away.
     
  14. Silvertone

    Silvertone New Member

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    I didnt mean the period as part of her wanting to break up with me, but she was having the shitty weekend to begin with b/c of her period

    period + bad tests + her father wrecks her brand new car (long story, dont ask) = shitty weekend

    and she was still having her period when she said the "akward" part, so idk whats going on anymore :(
     
  15. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    The thing is, you don't have 100% knowledge of what she's doing from day to day. However, she does. So when someone says, they don't deserve you...there are reasons. That's why the only thing to do is just believe them.

    She may still lust for you but doesn't want to be in a relationship with you.

    I hope we're all wrong about this, for your sake, but I'd be willing to bet she's just setting the stage for a break up.
     
  16. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    :dunno: I'd be inclined to give you hope, say maybe she's just going through a rough spot, but I've never heard the phrase 'you deserve better than me' and have it not end up in a breakup
     
  17. the ground folds

    the ground folds rest your trigger on my finger

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    i can see your point here. i was once with a girl that was in a long term relationship where the guy treated her like crap. So when i treated her like a normal person she was pretty weird about it at first. I guess the fact that she was conditioned to this other behavior in relationships made her see someone treating her a little better differently. It was just something that she had to get over in time.
     
  18. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    DOT.

    I've been in that situation before.

    Note that my gf at the time was also hot, but you know how all hot girls are insecure, so she thought my ex (who was also good looking) was like 11ty billion times prettier than her.

    I'm not saying this is the case, but it's a possibility. A girl can want to break up with you because she feels like she doesn't measure up to an ex, and that's a shitty fucking feeling. HOWEVER, I'd say there's still more than a 50% chance that everyone else is right, and she's about to break up with you for other reasons. But, the case mentioned above could also be the case.
     
  19. JemmaX

    JemmaX New Member

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    :rolleyes:

    the whole 'get them before they get you' plan eh?


    maybe the girl is just insecure. you WERE hanging out with your ex gf. thats kinda lame. I dont see how the things she says means shes setting the stage to break up with you. the guys in this thread need to chill out.
     
  20. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    I think Viper was coming from the approach of nothing makes a girl want you more than pushing her away. It doesn't make sense, but it's been my experience that that's typically how things work, too.

    Back in the day I told one of my exes that we needed to take a break. During that time she was always calling me, trying to come see me, etc. It was nuts!

    The problem is that I actually wanted a break.

    The downside is that using this to increase someone's attraction toward you is a dangerous strategy that can backfire or cause resentment at a later time in the relationship. I'll post more later and elaborate on both of those concepts but I gotta leave the office now :big grin:
     
  21. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    WTF?? Making stuff up?? Noone has suggested that she's making stuff up. When someone tells you that you deserve better, there are reasons they say this.
     
  22. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    I've heard that line from girls I was dating three times now, and every time, it heralded a breakup
     
  23. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

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    All of you who are arguing insecurities, you seem to be forgetting that she didnt think he was too good for her in the past 13 months they've been dating. That's more than enough time for her to get over her insecurities, and they would've shown up earlier, not now.
     
  24. Redneck Shinobi

    Redneck Shinobi Well Jules, the funny thing about my back is that

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    I don't believe it's a breakup sign. I have said it to my girlfriend when I fucked up good. She hasn't said it to me, but I've heard it from other women. Doesn't mean I'm gonna jump at the chance to do it.
     
  25. Silvertone

    Silvertone New Member

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    okay... false alarm no breakup. I think everyone (she and i) were on edge for the past couple days (lack of sleep, extended working hours) and thats what sparked everything
     

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