SRS Did I fuck up big time?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Jeff Merr, Dec 11, 2006.

  1. Jeff Merr

    Jeff Merr Elite Member

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    For some of you who remember my previous post, my ex and I have been broken up (after 4 years) for about a month now. I was pretty content with myself and felt like i was almost over the whole thing. Yea every once in a while i would have some hard times and thoughts, but for the most part i was doing very good. She called me this morning and i decided to pick up her phone call, i was more interested in how she has been, she was still very important in my life and i wanted to have a friendship once i was over her. She said she wanted to hang out and catch up on some things, i also wanted to see our dog because i missed her a lot. Anyways, we hang out, go see a movie and get something to eat.

    We get back to her place, and she kisses me on the lips, i was very shocked when this happened - my head started spinning and i really couldn't process the whole situation, ill get to the point - this eventually lead to us having sex (twice). After sex i was really unsure how i felt, we talked for a while about things and she said that she really misses me and has been having a hard time with life since i left, although she said this, i want to make it clear that she never hinted getting back together. I straight up told her that i am almost moving on and i have realized that things happen for a reason, i told her that lately i have found some things about myself that i need to work on, and have realized a lot of shit in this past month.

    So in the end, i end up leaving and she says "have a good week". We hug and i go out the door back home. I guess my questions is - did she just call me over to please her sexual desire? or does she want me back? Either way i would not get back together with her, one thing i have realized is that things would never be the same. But i guess in a sense i am confused on what the purpose of this whole thing was for her. The ending where she says have a good week, was what kind of made me think wtf.
     
  2. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    Sounds like she just wanted some sex, and you were a safe person to go to...you guys already had an emotional connection in the past, so she could trust you.

    Personally, if she calls again, I'd turn it down...it's just going to make things weird in the end.
     
  3. Layne Staley

    Layne Staley New Member

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    It was just sex.
     
  4. BlackIce72

    BlackIce72 New Member

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    It was probably just for sex. She probably meant it, but saying things like "I miss you" or "I miss it" is also just an emotionally comforting thing for both of you during that situation. I doubt it meant anything significant.

    If she calls again I would take control back and tell her "no". Do not let her believe that she can call you at any time and have you.

    If my ex was booty calling me I would probably do it once and then never again. It's very much a reverse slap in the face.
     
  5. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    I'd say it was sex. The problem with hanging out with her, however, is clear: Look at how confused you are! If you're ever going to move on, I would suggest you stop talking to her, and stop fooling yourself into thinking that you want to be friends with her.

    So long as you are "connected" to her you will likely not grow, learn, mature and will be less of a man when the next woman comes along. And what if the perfect woman does come along, and your ex is calling? That's going to be a big red flag for any other women.

    Pack it up....
     
  6. Create

    Create :free at last:

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    I'm going to say it because you're acting a fool.

    I fucking told you so.

    Once again: Cut off all contact for at least three months. If you were sitting next to me I would have smacked you upside the head.
     
  7. johan

    johan Active Member

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  8. Jeff Merr

    Jeff Merr Elite Member

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    The wierd thing is i feel no attatchment like i had before. When i think about it, i got laid, and it felt good, and that's it :dunno: It's not like it used to be where i have no appetite, can't focus etc. If all it was, was just sex, i would have no problem with that, i don't really see any harm in it if we both are on the same level?
     
  9. johan

    johan Active Member

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    You honestly believe you have no attachment. Well then, there's no problem, is there?

    I'd say you're willfully pulling the wool over your own eyes, but that can't be because you no longer have any attachment to her.

    ...right?
    :)
     
  10. Jeff Merr

    Jeff Merr Elite Member

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    Well, the only concern i have is if she has an attatchment and is not over me. If it was just sex, she wouldn't have told me that she had a hard time getting over me, life has been shitty for her lately, and she always thinks every night that she will never find someone who treated her as good as i did. Now, that being said, i guess i kind of answered my own question, lol. I guess the test will be to see what happens from here? It all depends on how she reacts the following days after this experience, so far she hasn't called or texted me, so if it was just sex, then i shouldn't hear from her again unless it's a booty call, correct?
     

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