Did I do right?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by ktracho07, Aug 22, 2008.

  1. ktracho07

    ktracho07 New Member

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    Ok guys I read all about situations similar to mine and I did get some valuable advice out of it but I want to get it off my chest and get some opinions. My gf of 3 1/2 broke up with me last night saying that she loves me but she isn't in love with me. She said that she doesn't want to close the doors or burn any bridges and that I am the one to decide if I want to be friends with her. She told me she wants to be my friend bc she wants to be able to check up on me and my family. I told her fuck that and that I didn't want any type of communication with her. She asked me what I wanted to do with some clothes that I left at her house. She said she would love to keep them so she can wear them to bed. I said she can keep that stuff bc I don't even want to put a foot on her driveway. She called me a baby and immature bc I said I didn't want to be her friend or talk to her in any kind of way. This morning she left me a txt saying "you are being a dick. you will miss me watch". I didn't respond. I got back on myspace to get rid of all her pics and stuff that has to due with her off my page after 3 months of not going on there. I think myspace is lame and that won't be a problem. The truth is that I'm crushed and I love her and I don't know if I did the right thing. It is so weird bc we were fine yesterday and all of the sudden she came up with this. I don't understand it. I would appreciate some advice.

    Thanks
     
    Last edited: Aug 22, 2008
  2. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

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    maybe it was a little immature, but i think it was pretty silly of her to expect you to want to be friends still.

    the best thing you can do for YOU is to not be friends. its going to hurt, but its going to help you move forward with your life. she wants to break up with you, but still have you around whenever she wants. thats not fair to you at all. stay strong
     
  3. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    First of all, :hug:

    Secondly, everyone takes a break up differently. You happened to be very hurt and chose to not want to see her. That is your choice and honestly I'm the exact same way. At first, her offering a friendship just seemed typical to me. A lot of girls (especially after a long relationship like yours) think saying you can and should still stay friends is somehow helpful, when really it is not at all and almost impossible so soon after.

    She broke your heart and you deserve to take it any way you'd like. In fact, I congratulate you really on not being like so many of the other guys who get dumped in this forum that are not only get super depressed, but pretty pathetic and go chasing after the girl.

    But yeah, the fact that she said,
    That just pisses me off. That just shows she's upset now that you aren't pining over her, which hopefully will teach you something about her character. She's narcissistic and not worth being depressed over.

    I say stick on the path you are going. Don't bother contacting her or even responding to any attempts she might make. Most likely she will come back in a few weeks or months even and say she wonders if she made a mistake, but hopefully by then you'll have moved on and realized it was for the better.
     
  4. sapient

    sapient New Member

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    Sounds like she wants the ability to date other guys, but have you around for emotional support. Fuck that nonsense.

    I was going to tell you to respond to her basically saying, politely, to let you move on, but anything you say is just going to extend the number of texts/calls you get until she gets the idea and stops. Silence will get her out of your life the fastest.
     
  5. fray

    fray New Member

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    I think you're fine. She shouldn't expect to dump you and then act like you're still dating. Keeping your clothes to sleep in at night??? Seriously? Unless you left a $400 cashmere shirt, she's just causing drama.
     
  6. ktracho07

    ktracho07 New Member

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    I ignored that text. I told her that I am not going to be her crutch. I appreciated your feedback. I really need it right now. I haven't heard from her the rest of the day and it doesn't bother me. I'm honestly hurting but I won't let her know. My plan is to ignore her and not pay any attention to her if I see her. I work really close to her house and she may try to use that to her advantage and try to talk to me. I wish the time would pass by faster bc it hurts:wtc: but I will stay strong. Thank you guys for the support. About the clothes. I didn't leave anything but t-shirts and some shorts. I do want 1 of them back bc it's my varsity socer jersey from high school and it means a lot to me but I rather not get it .
     
  7. Joybang

    Joybang New Member

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    Its hard at first but if you keep in contact it will only prolong your recovery. Get all your belongings right away, if you want them and stash everything that reminds you of her away, could be pics, gifts etc...you don't have to pitch them now if you don't want. Some people like to wait until they can' deal with it, some like to just toss it rather quickly.

    Just try to remove anything that reminds you of her. it will help you.

    As far as her saying what she did it definitely sounds like she is pissed you didn't break down completely. I think its highly possible she wants to see other people so don't be afraid to do the same and get out there and meet new people, when you're ready of course.


    GL. :sadwavey:
     
  8. ktracho07

    ktracho07 New Member

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    Thank you for all the support guys. I'm dealing with the situation very well up to this day. I have kept myself from wanting to talk to her. She texted yesterday asking if I had come by her house. I didn't come by her house at all so I don't know why she asked. I have felt the need to see her but I hold myself. I hope all this feelings go away fast. Thank you guys
     
  9. Short Bus

    Short Bus Beep beep!

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    You did the right thing man. I'm the same way. Generally I need to completely erase the person from my life in order to get over them as fast as possible. That means no more communication, a clean MySpace page, erased phone number and eMail, and a thorough cleaning of the apartment to eliminate anything of hers.

    You're NOT wrong for feeling this way. It's selfish of her to not see that she put you in a position where you need to think about YOURSELF first and not the relationship that ended and then continue to mess with you about it.
     
  10. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    Typical girl breakup. She had probably already downgraded the relationship to a friendship in her mind (because you don't just fall out of love overnight), and didn't want to lose the emotional support of the "friendship".

    Checking up on you and your family...why should you guys need checked up on? You are adults, you can take care of yourselves. "Checking up on you" is either "I don't see you as a grown man, I need to take care of you and your family" or "I want to check and make sure you're still single and missing me in awhile so I can feel better about myself".

    You did the right thing. You need to stay far away from this girl so you don't get used as a crutch/security blanket. She wants to end it, fine, she ends everything, not just the parts of the relationship she no longer likes.

    Wow, I sound a little like PocoDiablo...
     
  11. Crazyjester24

    Crazyjester24 New Member

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    For whatever reason, i seem to be seeing alot of this type of behavior lately, not with myself (although my ex acted the same way) but with other girls, is this something all do or is it just some of them? I know not all girls are the same but this cant be pure coincidence
     
  12. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    stay strong bro. you have it all under control.

    call your friends and get out of the house.
     
  13. Short Bus

    Short Bus Beep beep!

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    .

    Whatever you do, do not sit around and rot by yourself. Good MALE friends have been where you are and understand what it's like. I'm not saying go cry your eyes out or have an emo moment, just go hang out. A couple break ups ago I just tagged along with a friend while he was running errands. It helped tremendously.

    Get out, be around people, and keep yourself busy. It's the best way to get your mind off of things.
     
  14. ktracho07

    ktracho07 New Member

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    I just got back from a friend's house and from getting my brother some acne products and while I was at walmart I got a text from her saying: "Are you still willing to help me fix my a/c on my car?". I didn't respond. When we were together I had told her that I would hook her up with a good deal on an A/C Compressor since my dad gets good deals at his shop but as of right now I don't feel like helping her.I went out today to chill with some of my old high school friends. It felt great. We played xbox and just sat around. She didn't cross my mind until I got home but I find it easy to get her out of my head by writing on here. I have gotten rid of all the things that remind me of her to ease this pain. Thank you guys.
     
  15. Short Bus

    Short Bus Beep beep!

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    Way to go man, keep it up. Any time you start feeling moapy or depressed, get on the phone and try to find somebody to hang out with. Make up shit to do if you have to... go detail your car, go for a run, go to a book store, anything that'll keep you active and engaged.
     
  16. tqpolo

    tqpolo ***** Platinum Member OT Supporter

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    The funny thing is the moment you act like you care, she will start to ignore you. Oh how I love girls and their needy asses.
     
  17. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    I gotta say I'm impressed. Keep it up, man, you are doing everything right. It's gonna hurt sometimes and it's gonna be lonely sometimes, but you'll get through it much faster and much easier by doing what you are doing. Sorry for your loss, but you're better off and trust me when I say that we feel your pain.
     
  18. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    Jesus christ she is trying to milk you for everything. :ugh: You did great. I don't think she deserves any sympathy from you. It's absurd how she's being a bitch to you yet still expects favors and for you to be cordial.
     
  19. armond

    armond New Member

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    I basically stopped all communications with my ex and moved on with my life. Made it easier. Found out some time later she was asking around about me. My response? "We are exes for a reason." I am none too comfortable with being friends with an ex, can make situations complicated and filled with drama. But that is me on a personal level.

    If you can be friends with your exes, by all means do what you are capable of handling.
     
  20. armond

    armond New Member

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    good deal man, leave her be and don't feel obligated to help her with something that you agreed upon while you were in a relationship.

    having been there, i know what you feel. but keep truckin, soon you will relaize you are probably better off without her. make a mental pro and con list of all the good and bad stuff about the relationship. you probably never saw it coming, but when you do this, you might come to the realization... i sure did.
     
  21. Dreams2Reality

    Dreams2Reality saywhat

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    Keep it up bro, it'll all work out in the end. The best feeling of all this pain is, when it's all said and over, you're going to look back and understand so much more as to why you're okay with the decisions made.

    Props bro, keep your head up.
     
  22. jmezz

    jmezz layin in bed stretchin my pumped quads for hours

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    Good work dude and definitely don't hook her up with the A/C. I would be livid if I broke up with my gf and she had the nerve to ask if I would still hook her up with some gift or service. Don't be a chump.
     
  23. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    This thread kind of amazes me. I'm so used to people caving into their exs that it is refreshing to see someone actually doing the right thing the first time. Most people have to get seconds or thirds of their shit sandwich before they stop eating. Good for you, ktracho07.
     
  24. Short Bus

    Short Bus Beep beep!

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    :werd:
     
  25. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Threadstarter, you did well, even if a little immature.

    Like beer said, she's immature too because she wants you to miss her. She sounds like she's full of drama/games. Good riddance.
     
    Last edited: Aug 27, 2008

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