SRS Desperate .. Need advisement

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by RX8Shinka, Nov 2, 2005.

  1. RX8Shinka

    RX8Shinka New Member

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    I am currently on leave of absense from my job which is training as a Drug and Alcohol Counselor. Note this is not the field I had intendened to go into after college. I have a preference to working with abused/neglected children but had difficulties finding an opening so I agreed to Drug/Alcohol Counseling.

    I walked into this job with a lifetime of experience under my belt. I had grown up around drugs and alcoholism (both parents were alcoholics- father passed on from it). As a child, I've had to deal with many traumatic events that NO child should ever be exposed to nor should they have the responsibility of handling volatile situations of the likes. Luckily, the events I've gone through with family and friends...has been the best deterant in my life against drugs and alcohol. I have never tasted beer, never took a puff of a cigerette nor tried any illegal drugs.

    I took this job at a rehab. center that focuses on support, adventure activites and spirituality. Seems great right? But 99.9 % of the counselors on staff are former addicts themselves!!!! One of them told me "Throw everything you've ever learned in college out the window. It's all about experience here." They (the counselors) use their own prior experiences with the stuggles of addiction to sympathize with the client to build a healthy, trusting relationship. Now me, who's never experienced an addiction (other than to stuff like soda and candy) cannot establish such a level with the clients. And the clients pick up on this, they look at me as if to say "Yeah, here comes the goody-goody from college. Like she knows what we're going through, HA!"

    A few days ago, I was sitting in on a group and listening to the clients life experiences....a few really hit home. All of the sudden I remembered my mother going through a similar experience (like the time she nearly died from alcohol poisioning, crawled into my room said she was dying and asked me to call the police...all this at 8 yrs of age). This brough up a whole bunch of emotions that I thought I had dealt with but apparently, I didn't do a very good job because they came right up. My mind sort of blocked out everything and I wasn't able to give the clients my full attention...I was literally speechless.

    Case and point: I've lived with drug/alcohol abuse for the majority of my life. I've experienced the destruction. As a child, I promised myself that I would never expose myself to it again...it would be out of my life for good. And now I find myself dealing with it again--both at work and at home. I am having a difficult time deciding if I should stay at this job.?.. Any thoughts would be GREATLY appreciated!!!!

    Also keep in mind that I have finanical reasons for terminating this: The pay is very little and compared to the expense of traveling to work everyday (yes it's quite a drive) it may not be worth it.

    Any thoughts?
     
  2. RX8Shinka

    RX8Shinka New Member

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    Please help me, I have to make a decision tomorrow. :sadwavey:
     
  3. RX8Shinka

    RX8Shinka New Member

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    no responses? :wtc:
     
  4. kakariko

    kakariko Purple Member OT Supporter

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    i would seriously consider talking to a professional about this.. in the long run it may help you cope with your life experiences, but it may also bring up a lot of painful and forgotten memories..

    see if there is any type of workplace councilling line avaliable and talk to them privately.. that would probably be your best move
     
  5. RX8Shinka

    RX8Shinka New Member

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    I could meet with a counselor to discuss this and I have. It was pretty cut and dry, they had just told me to ask my "higher power" for help and that I could also use the 12-Step book they use for alcoholism and apply it to my own life. They also went on to share their own life experiences, which is what got them involved with drugs and alcohol and it was pretty horrific so my current situation seems menial to them.

    I also have concerns with working at this placement full time with no pay for the next 3 mths. The distance is quite far so I would be stuggling financially with gas and such. As I also mentioned, I have prior experience in the past with traumatic events...which I really don't care to revisit. But I do recognize that I need more indepth help to get over certain issues. It's very difficult working at a drug/alcohol rehab center then going home to a brother who is agoraphobic (antisocial) and a pot head and also a mother who is continually drunk passed out on the couch by noontime everyday. I want so badly to get a job and move out...and live a normal life. And if I complete the internship I'm one step closer but ....as you know this internship would make life difficult for me.
     
  6. Anna28471

    Anna28471 New Member

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    I don't know. Tough call.


    I'm sure someone here can provide some valuable insight..
     
  7. civicmon

    civicmon got all my game from the streets of california.

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    experience means a lot but i also think that your experiences growing up can be valuable as well becaue you can help people in recovery realize that they can fuck up the lives around them as well as their own.

    You could bridge more into a family type setting if those are options..
     
  8. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    I majored in Psychology, because I went through hell myself. I figured I would be a therapist of some sort.

    Then it hit me - why in the world would I want to continue to re-live my past through other people? I would be miserable every day listening to all these crazy/sad/upset folks!

    I now work with computers, and I want to open a restaurant instead. I am SOOOOOO glad I did not become a therapist. It would be like having a bad day every day. ;)
     
  9. RX8Shinka

    RX8Shinka New Member

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    I only agreed to this internship because I was in desperate need of a placement. I would have preferred to work with abused children and I still do.

    It's 11 a.m. and I still haven't made a decision as to whether I should continue this or not. :wtc:
     
  10. Spirito

    Spirito New Member

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    in my opinion , the best thing is to quit ,
     
  11. RX8Shinka

    RX8Shinka New Member

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    I spoke with my college professor and she set up an appointment at the facility in question in regards to the internship. They want me to continue because I've invested so much but little do they know it makes me highly uncomfortable and also it's nothing that I would persue as a job in the future.

    What do I do? I don't want this. A few clients have already confronted me on how unhappy I look there..
     
  12. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    Choises create reality, you have to make the wise decisions that will lead to a reality that you want to live in.
     
  13. GlassUser

    GlassUser send an email not a pm OT Supporter

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    I lived through a lot of that kind of crap myself in my childhood. I have incredibly poor reactions to things that remind me of it. I don't think I could stay there if I were you.
     
  14. RX8Shinka

    RX8Shinka New Member

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    How do I tell my professor I cannot do this? She is so gung-ho about this claiming that it might be good for me but I don't see how. Working at a drug/rehab. center than coming home to find my mother passed out drunk on the couch and my brother stoned as all heck is taking it's toll on me. And more importantly, this is not the population that I wanted to work with..
     
  15. GlassUser

    GlassUser send an email not a pm OT Supporter

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    Man. Well on one hand your prof is a professional and has been doing this a long time (at least I'd hope). On the other, everyone has their own tolerances, and this might be pushing yours past the limit.

    Maybe you can present it in a way that puts the prof on the spot of helping your family first? The problem is that you can't force help on these kinds of things, the victim has to come to it, so it probably wouldn't work on your family out of nowhere.
     

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