SRS Depression sucks [vent]

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by MacandCheese, Apr 24, 2006.

  1. MacandCheese

    MacandCheese Mmm Mmmm Goood ;)

    Oct 9, 2002
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    I'm basically going to vent here a little. It'll make me feel better :)

    So about 1.5 years ago, i moved cross country for a great new job but it's in a place that i knwo noone, have 0 family, etc etc. I knew it was going to be tough and it was. For the first two months, i had horrendous, daily stomach aches. So bad that i went to the doctor. But after ~2 months they went away and I felt more comfy and was doing great. The job was going real well, I started dating a girl (who i'm still dating today, 1.5 years later) and life was just peachy. I flew back and forth for holidays and all was good. I'm very independant, so leaving my friends family wasn't AS big of a deal as it could have been (though, i do miss them and i'm sure that i surpress some emotions here).

    Fast forward to 4-6 weeks ago. I am constantly trying to find business ideas to try and see if i can get out of my 9-5 to work for myself and make a decent living. I'm always on the lookout for new ideas. Well, i have quite a few, plus many other things i want to try (things like voice overs, goign back to the gym, new websites, etc etc etc... very diverse as you can tell). It finally got to the point where i had a slight breakdown one night about it all. My mind was going 30,000mph and it was too much. So i wrote all of my ideas and things that i want to try down on paper to try to organize myself and slow myself back down to my normal pace. It helped, but not tremendously. I tried to get myself back on track and the way i did it was to focus on one or two of those items instead of all 50 billion. That helped a lot.

    But unfortunately, ever since that small breakdown, i have been in a state of somewhat depression. No, i'm not full blown depressed. But it's a minor-moderate depression. It hasn't affected my work (thank god), but it's been affecting my thoughts about my gf, business ideas, etc... in a not so happy way. I need to turn this around and get back to my usual, uplifting, sunnyside-up self. But i don't know how since i can't pinpoint the exact spot that's causing this...

    What i've discovered is that when i'm out having a good time (read: socializing) and out of my daily routine at work and home (i live by myself), my normal self comes out and has a blast. Things are peachy, i'm happy, no depression etc. When i'm home, doing the usual routine, thinking of business stuff... that's when the depression comes on. I *think* this is it... I think i need more of a social life again (like i had before i moved from all my friends/fam). I came out here and my social life went from 100/100 to 5/100. It strikes me odd that it took this long to hit me, but i guess my willpower has finally been broken a bit. Sucks, i rather not spend a crapton of money going out on the weekends, which also doesn't help me in this situation (if social life is the problem). Making friends is not the easiest thign to do after HS/college when you're working 40+ hours a week :hs: My gf has pretty much been my only outlet.

    Another problem that definitely has added to this is a website i started awhile ago. Has a tremendous amount of potential. I spent ~5-7 months developing it and getting it going. Once it went online, my partner flaked on me and the site has had a tough time getting started. I'm constantly banging my head against the desk tryign to think of new things to get it going, new marketing techniques, etc etc. It hurts that i spend all this time/money on it and it's not doing what it *could* be doing. However, i am logical and understand not all sites/business work, so i can deal and i knew this going into it... But it still hurts.

    So i dunno, i guess that's my deal. Sorry for the long ass thread. It's great that fazle has created thi splace to vent a bit. It's always good to get this stuff out :) I just need to get my head back on track. I'm glad that i understand what i'm going through and know that things aren't right and that i need to fix them rather than sulking in them and letting my life worsen. TOugh battle this depression stuff...
  2. ebbnflo

    ebbnflo REAL- LAOT Hermit

    Nov 29, 2005
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    At least you do have the sense to know what is going on in your head. That IS a good thing.

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