SRS Depression? Social Anxiety? Maybe both?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Slipstream, Jun 15, 2006.

  1. Slipstream

    Slipstream New Member

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    Alright, I've been lurking for awhile, but I have come to the conclusion over the last few weeks that enough is enough-- Something is wrong with me, and I want to fix it. A quick background: I'm 3 years out of college (graduated with a BBA), work for a small but successful company 8-5 Mon-Fri, into cars and typical geeky stuff. Personality wise, I've always been an introvert, and somewhat shy. I was never the wild party animal in college, and I was terrified of class speeches like a lot of people. Even still, I had a small but close group of friends, and I was quite happy. However...

    Over the past two years or so, I've become more and more withdrawn, both personally and socially. I suffered through an emotionally crushing time right after graduation (relationship of five years disintegrated, parents divorced, career goals dissolved... all within 2-3 months), and have had a rough time of things since. I had another deeply involved relationship fail a year ago, which set me right back to the post-grad period.

    Now, I don't seem to be making forward progress anymore. I still have a few close friends, but I find myself questioning if they're really friendly, or if they just pity me. I don't trust people emotionally. I feel like every move I make is being watched and critiqued. I desperately want to meet new people, but intentionally avoid every opportunity to do so. When I get around new people, I find that I can't come up with anything to say. I'm mortified of rejection. My bosses at work comment that I have a lot of potential, but that they're discouraged by my extreme hesitancy to do anything out of the box. The list continues, but sounds like social anxiety, right?

    Well, I think the YEARS of enduring all of that has turned to depression. I hardly ever smile anymore. I love to make people laugh, but find I rarely laugh myself. Being alone often stirs up horribly degrading thoughts about myself... How I'm a failure to my parents, to myself, to my friends, to everyone. I desperately want my life to change for the better, but I can't even begin to figure out how. The best analogy I can come up with is trying to climb out of a hole in the ground. Every step up turns into sliding two steps back down. I've had emotional breakdowns before, and I'm normally a VERY well controlled person in that regard. That sort of behavior scares me, and adds to the problem ("What is wrong with me? I'm cracking up...").

    So given that not-so-brief description, does it sound like one, the other, or both? I know I need to seek professional assistance, but how? Who? I don't make a lot of money, and I don't think my insurance really covers therapy. What do I do? Thank God for the Internet, btw... I think this is probably the first I've ever put it out for people to see. Feels kind of good. :hsd:
     
  2. konrad109

    konrad109 New Member

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    Sounds like depression to me.

    Look at your insurance card and check for a number to call for information. Call them and ask them what your insurance covers. My HMO covers me for 20 sessions a year with a $20 co-pay each time I visit, so its not that bad. You'll probably need to talk to your family doctor to get a referral for the insurance to cover your therapy. Tell your doctor you would like to see a therapist for cognitive behavioral therapy, not just for meds.

    Once you see the therapist he will probably recommend you see a psychiatrist for medications. Thats up to you though. Meds may really help you out, or they may give you some really shatty side effects without helping all that much. It might take a while before they figure out which medication and what dosage works for you. Personally, I found that good diet and regular excersize helped me a lot more than the 3 meds that I tried ever did, but each person is different. Try diet and excercize along with the talk therapy for a while. If you still feel like you aren't improving then go for the meds.
     
  3. Slipstream

    Slipstream New Member

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    I looked a bit on my provider's website, and it looks like a good chunk of it is covered, provided it's in network and after the copay. Unfortunately I haven't touched my copay this year, so I guess I'll be footing a good chunk of the bill.

    After reading some of the horror stories, I'd like to put off meds unless absolutely necessary. I realize the naysayers here are a small cross section of overall users, but if my choices are the side effects or depression, I'll gladly stay depressed. :hsugh: I really do believe that 90% of what I'm going through is in my head, but I need help to drain the bad thoughts and refill it with positive ones. The other 10% I can probably attribute to poor sleep patterns, mediocre diet, and inconsistent exercise. I'm working on the diet and exercise, but the sleep deprivation is often caused by insomnia, which is caused by the anxiety/depression. It's sort of a vicious cycle for me.
     
  4. Eric Happy Meal

    Eric Happy Meal New Member

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    konrad109 - how does the dieting and exercise help?
     
  5. konrad109

    konrad109 New Member

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    Omega 3's are deficient in many modern diets. According to a lot of research this may lead to depression. Look up "omega 3 fatty acids" for more info. In general you should eat more fish, seeds and nuts, whole grains, and less beef and as little processed foods (ie anything that says "hydrogenated) as possible.

    Excersize releases endorphins which make you feel good.
     
    Last edited: Jun 15, 2006

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