SRS depression building up with so and * kinda long* but need help

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by barndawg, Feb 6, 2006.

  1. barndawg

    barndawg New Member

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    OK right now im in hell massive depression ,breaking down and just lost . To start been married 12yrs in march and had the usual ups and downs got a 11yr old daughter. We have seperated 3 times and i have gone back for my daughters sake and i know thats the wrong reason but have been together for the last 8yrs and not matter what i cant seem to make her happy .

    She will always complain about everything house not being clean enough for her , lack of money or how she hates her job and then goes on to how im useless,lazy,good for nothing and a real piece of shite. Well so far in her depression i have tried these things a joking comment was made about maybe she needed a girlfriend so i leet her explore this option and she liked it . Then her rules clearly stated that i was not invited on these endevors well that fizzled out sorta. Then i went on to do the flowers and gifts and tried to make things

    romantic as possible but all i recieved was either she was tired or it just seemed like it wasnt appreciated.ok so years later it eases up and i ask her about what she wants to do fantasies and such . well the topic of a mmf threesome comes up as she has always wondered about it .So we try it lil awkward at first but once everything gets figured out the sex was awesome best we have ever had so this has been done maybe 8 times in 4yrs with varying degrees of success and failure with one person .

    Well i have cought her 3 times online with relationships in the past and it has torn us apart but i have stayed for my daughter .well things go downhill from there in the last 6mo the emotional and mental abuse from her has increased to about a hour constant daily and off and on cheap shots . Now over the last couple of weeks she has turned up the sexlife to +10 trying new things that has never ben done bofor and really blowing my mind but then comming back later in the day or next and telling me how worthless i am and how she hates me .Well she has gotten into this

    attention sponge where ever and how ever she can get it flirting, compliments about what she wears and such well a long time friend of mine and hers he was talking about how he had been working out and as a joke she grabbed his ass i was standing right there and it was laughed off as a joke and they had been talking and since he had alwasy just talked alot of shite nothing was taken serious . well he said with me standing there that he was going to come over and take care of her when i was gone and it was laughed off and she said yeah what ever .well last wed he called her and said he was close to the house and wanted

    to come by she said if he wanted to come by for a bit he could but she had to get ready for work . so that would have put it about 8:40ish am . Well i get a call about 10:20 am saying that he forced himself on her he was going to leave and she grabbed his ass again and gave him a hug and licked his neck :eek4: HER STORY ... she said he forced his way back in the door pinned her to the wall and kissed her forced her hand down his pants and pulled her shirt up and her tits out all while she is crying and beggin him to stop and he finally leaves . She begs me not to call

    him until she gets to work so he wont come back by the house and that she will take care of it for me not to call him WTF . it took me about 3hrs to calm down and get a semi clear head so i called him . HIS STORY... he came by and they talked and she kept messing with him and when he went to leave she grabbed his ass and then he turned around and she hugged him and licked his neck a full body hug and she didnt let go so he kissed her and put her hand

    on his chest and she slid it down his pants so he slid her shirt up and pulled out her tits and played with them and he said the whole thing lasted maybe 2-3 min and she said i cant do this today i have to go to work so he left . they both think that my webcam was recording sicne she brought it up and freaked and just coincidence it was out of camera shot when all of this happend and the bad thing is i have know him 20+ yrs and he has never lied to me and it has gotten worse with all of the emotional and

    mental bashing since then and im just lost and dont know what to do i almost think more happend and they are both covering it up and yesterday she asked me if i had talked to him and i didnt respond im just so confused on what to do and the depression is getting severe causing breakdowns and total loss of emotional control what do i do please anyone with advice share it .
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 7, 2006
  2. PuppyCat

    PuppyCat O.T. Mom

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    Holy Mess Batman. Leave. Just leave. Grab your daughter and just go. Either that, or you people got to get your act together. See somebody. Both of you are not doing your Daughter any good...You two are playing with fire and, as usual, the child always suffers in the end. Both of yas should take a long hard look at yourselves. Depression, game playing, screwing this person and that person, meaness, ack! It's just wayyyyyy to much. I feel sorry for the child. You think your Daughter is stupid and doesn't know what's up? Ack! Staying together for the sake of your Daughter, knowing full well she is not stupid and knows what in the hell is going on is just folly. Sheer stupidity. Someone has to make a move.
     
  3. teo

    teo . => ? => !

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    Eh?
    Your buddy is probably telling the the version of the story that's closest to the truth. However, he's showing a severe lack of respect for you - he shouldn't be touching your wife while she's still your wife. I'd be calling him out on the lack of respect more than the actual act.

    Your wife is playing games, probably for a number of reasons which may include dissatisfaction with her marriage and the thrill of the chase. Whether she got in over her head on this one or not, she's still behaving indecently and showing her lack of respect for you in the process. You deserve better than this.

    She's not right for you. Your daughter will be happier when both of you are happy. Since you can't be happy when living together, that means you should move out. You don't want to teach your daughter that staying in an unhealthy relationship is the right thing to do.
     
  4. Kytro

    Kytro I am become death, shatterer of worlds

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    I suspect this will only continue to cause problems if things remain the same. You cannot change other people, only yourself.
     
  5. ebbnflo

    ebbnflo REAL- LAOT Hermit

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    So do I.
    We are only hearing your side of the story, so I can't really say if I think you should stay and both get serious help, or just make a clean break.
    A decision should be made about it soon, though, IMO. At least TRY one thing or another, and stop doing things that only make the situation completely worse.
     
  6. barndawg

    barndawg New Member

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    I know there are complicated things causing me to stay at the moment as in the motor blowing in my car taxes not filed but im gone asap and i tried to talk to her tonight about going in the morning and doing the taxes and she fired back about how it would be useless since the state would get the majority of it . And out of all the fighting and the argueing she comes back tonight all bumping into me wearing the type of clothes i like for her to wear around the house .and i was about to doze off on the couch and she is all grabbing on my dik while i was asleep trying to play and shit WTF
     
  7. teo

    teo . => ? => !

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    Eh?
    The words "power struggle" come to mind. She's playing you like a (badly-tuned) violin. When she can't have you, she's going to throw a fit. Be prepared, and be strong.
     
  8. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    I can only think Oh.. MY... God...

    First off all the most essensial thing missing here is BOUNDRIES.

    You should have set a massive amount of boundries in a extended amount of area's to define the limits of the relationship in order to avoid,prevent or dismiss destructive elements in your relationship.

    - Why did you allow your wife to say such abusive things on a dialy basis?
    - Why do you constantly fall in weakness the moment she dresses sexy?
    - Why aren't making a stance for yourself and your daughter?

    1. Rule is that a marriage is strictly for two people , this is to prevent adultery and preserve and prevent that the feelings of the couple aren't being destroyed by outsiders.

    2. Allowing outsiders into your marriage,to play with your wife (for gods sake) opens the gate to cheating , and the destruction of everything you love, allowing you to fall into depression.

    Im sorry to say this but your wife is like a wild horse on the run. You need to be the cowboy in this relationship and throw a lasso around the legs and tame this horse.

    For whatever its worth it that is , are you blind? What kind of example is this for your daughter, for her when growing up to think 'its good to fuck around with other people's minds ,bodies and to cheat around ,move outside the boundries of a marriage and do whatever the fuck she wants without taking other people's feelings in consideration?

    You need to make a stance and throw up a wall of dismay , for this sort kind of behaviour, its absolutely sad that you have allowed this woman to degrade you to such a sad exuse as a husband.

    The thing is , you are allowing her to constantly putting darkness and hatred into your life , her overal negative attitude about you has to be dealt with.

    Start doing chores around the house, fix this, do that ,repair that rotten element, paint the house so that you be prepared the next times she comes bitching at your head of how worthless you are you can yell back ( I did this and that and that, i fixed this i made that, i painted the house) and what did you do today?

    Show your not lazy, show that you are worth of being called a man, namely one who does not 'allow' dismay at the house, or being yelled at by the wife for no good reason. Show her that you are worthy of being around here on earth, show that you are a fantastic dad to the kid, and show her you are a fantastic husband who will protect her,cherish her and forfill her needs.

    START COMPLAINING, i can't stress this enough, good couples complain to eachother what bothers them, bring love and light into the relationship and DO NOT ALLOW other people to cross boundries that will make them enter illigally into your relationship with your wife succesfully destroying all that you love in your life. That guy that you know for 20 years IS NOT , i repeat IS NOT A FRIEND. Wtf a friend who destroys your marriage is a friend of yours? And your wife is equally guilty for letting him touching her ,but the MOST guilty person here is YOU for not making a stance to defend your daughter, your wife, or making clear to that so called friend of yours where his position is in this whole odeal. Dear person you stand 'outside' of the relationship between me and my wife so back the fuck off.
     
  9. civicmon

    civicmon got all my game from the streets of california.

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    you need to get outta there really fucking quick man.

    Consider seeing a professional about the depression as well. It's the right thing to do since you got a daughter and want the best for her...
     
  10. camrytt

    camrytt Sexual Deviant

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    I think divorce a long, long time ago would have been better than continuing this crazy, fucked up relationship. good luck with whatever you fucking do
     
  11. barndawg

    barndawg New Member

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    well for one after a while when the spark of a relationship burns out then you look for a way to light the fire again and sometimes its the wrong choices someties its the right ones. And i may have made the wrong choices in trying anything and everything to make her happy or alteast what i thought would make her happy . And foremost my daughter has never been here when anything of that nature has happend , And as fas as standfing up and proving that i am not lazy is not even an issue i supported my family on 1 income for 7yrs and i work an average of 55-70 hrs a week so me being lazy is not even a factor its just her lash out tactics. From the outside it appears that she is bipolar and may have ocd to top that off so me not standing up and trying to change things will do no good i have tried than numerous times and it did no good .
     
  12. Vailripper

    Vailripper Daywalkers have feelings too.

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    I completely agree that she is trying to play mindgames with you. It is so immature, it seems like she is trying to just screw with you, and it is starting to show. I think you really need to just put your foot down and stop letting her trample all over you. You gotta get out of the house. Personally, I think you should divorce and take custody of the daughter, as a wife treating you like that can't possibly be good for your child.

    I wish you the best of luck.
     

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