SRS depressed over slutty ex-gf

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by ia_cox, Jan 16, 2007.

  1. ia_cox

    ia_cox Active Member

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    I had another thread about this girl floating around awhile ago. We broke up right before going home for Christmas break in December, but coming from the same town we still saw and heard of each other. After Christmas, while still on break, we went for a few weeks with very limited contact: basically her messaging me shit and me telling her I had no place for someone that disrespected me the way she did (cheating) in my life. Last night, we're both back at school for start of semester today, and she and I got in a text message argument. She eventually calls me and leaves a voicemail, being a complete bitch and saying how she doesn't need me, how she's going to have a good sememster with out me...and how the night before she had slept next to a guy with out his shirt on. She then said "How's that make you feel, huh? That's right". That killed me. That was one of our treasured things in our relationship; no matter how bad our day was or if we were mad at each other, when we slept together we always felt better. To me it was close to the connection you have when you make love to your partner...and I thought she had the same views.

    I don't think she's going to have sex with anyone with out being in a serious relationship (though I didn't think she'd do what she did) just by the fact that she resisted having sex with me when we were serious. I HATE the girl she is now, the girl college and mainly her roommate has turned her into, but I still miss the girl I fell in love with a year ago. I know I need to let go and completely move on, and honestly I'm excited to meet someone new who will treat me the way I deserve to be treated. I'm just finding it hard, especially seeing that she's moved on already, and dumping her morals out the window for instant gratification, something we both were very much against a year ago.
     
  2. Gregsaidthat

    Gregsaidthat "Individuality is the new conformity"

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    Let her do that. It will come around and bite her in the ass in the long run. You will be happy with someone by then and when it hits her she will come back but just give her the cold shoulder and live your life! If she has to use a guy(if she even did that) to get you mad or upset then you don't need someone like that. Just goto class party or whatever and then right girl will come along.
     
  3. Gibles

    Gibles the funny thing about my back is....

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    I'm in a similar situation I'd never thought I'd find myself in also. I feel for ya. Good luck and I'm sure you'll find the right person......cuz she isn't the one.
     
  4. registeredPORK

    registeredPORK Happy Poo Poo

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    You're right, it is going to take some time to move on and get over with her but you're going in the right direction anyway. There will be someone new, exciting and fun to be with and someone who will appreciate you for who you are. Someone who share the same values as you do.

    As they say, it takes time to heal all the hurt inside.
     
  5. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    ......only because you let it.

    Stop texting her. Stop emailing her. Do not reply. If she calls don't answer. If she has a friend contact you politely tell them you'd prefer they not do that for her. When she approaches you tell her "I have nothing to say to you" and walk away.

    Why do you give a shit what an ex-gf is doing?
     
  6. Spiritus

    Spiritus Active Member

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    I realise my ex girlfriend is being a whore. I cannot help it.

    Do not identify yourself with the situation. How hurt would she be if you returned with Oh you slept with a man to get back at me, too bad I do not care as you make a whore out of yourself. Laugh, hang up.

    She is trying to hurt you now. She never loved you.

    Start learning how to love yourself again. It sounds so cheesy but lie in your bed, hug yourself, tell yourself you are your best friend and you always can do good things for yourself. You do not need a slutty bitch to make you feel good. You are now free of her.

    The pain will not go away with my meager words. However if you realise she is the one with the problem, you will be much better off.

    My girlfriend slept with a guy. She thinks she is the shit now. Today she phoned looking for welfare papers so she can get a place with some trailerpark trash up there.

    She is dropping out of college and fucking her life up.

    I am going to go out on a date with a nice Christian girl (I consider myself a form of Christian) on Friday or Saturday and hang out with her and her friends. I will be finished my electrical course within a year. I will be making 20 dollars an hour by age 21.

    She will be fucked around and cheated on by men for her life. I am trying to stop it (her one last chance, I will call on her mother to try to stop it, then I am done).

    Rise about her. You did not cheat on her, you are therefor better then her.

    Next time she tells you her story, laugh at her and say you misrible slut, do you not see that I do not care, and while I am persuing meaningful relationships you are fucking every other man. Pathetic. *laugh*

    You have to realise she is a ignorant bitch. Do not hate her, forgive her for her ignorance. She could not even break up with you, she is insecure.

    How does being depressed over her serve you. You have loved her, that love might still be there, I know how it feels very well. But you will then realise how much better you are without her, and how horrible she was.

    My ex was also a very innocent girl when we first met. By the end of 2 years she was a sex addicted, crazy maniac I wanted out of my life, and she chose the way out through cheating.

    It sucks, too many hormones flying around. I suggest stop looking for girls, and try to find yourself.

    Most important thing: stay out of that dark cold lonley room where thoughts brew, and get out as much as you can so that you may not think about her.

    It is so hard. We have been there. Stay strong, you are the good man.
     
  7. ia_cox

    ia_cox Active Member

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    I know, I let her in. I had gone weeks without giving in to talking to her, then I responded last night when she texted me. I know now not to do that. I saw her today after I posted this, and it looks as if she's gained about 10 pounds since I last saw her :mamoru: so the physical attraction is leaving too. She's doing all of this JUST to hurt me, I realize this. I was just tired and weak at 1 am last night and couldn't keep myself from responding. I know that I have to or I will only feel this much worse.
     
  8. johan

    johan Active Member

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    What you did, in fact, was use the intense closeness of sexuality to mask the underlying problems in your relationship.

    Good long term couples become that way through communicating. Talking out your problems instead of fucking them out.

    Ever notice how your cares drift away after some awesome sex. You forget what you were fighting about.... except you don't....

    The issues are still there, they haven't gone away.
    And now you see that she chose to stab you in the heart in a particularly cruel way. Think about that. Why?

    Physical intimacy cannot replace emotional intimacy.
    In fact too much raw, soul igniting sex, in the absence of deep communication and understanding....becomes isolating.

    Keep this in mind for the next girl you meet.
     
  9. ia_cox

    ia_cox Active Member

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    I never thought of it this way. Maybe that is why I felt more and more resentful and unhappy as we had sex less and less. At the time I thought my feelings were just natural male urges and the fact that I felt "connected" with her durning and after sex. Perhaps what you're saying is that "connection" I felt. As far as communicating, at the beginning of the relationship, I didn't spell my problems out at all, I just dealt with them and kept harmony between the two of us. I eventually learned that that hurts both of us in the long run, so we began to talk more and more about things that needed to be done. Summer was great in that sense; we solved our differences, barely faught, she was a terriffic gf to me. School started and our relationship wasn't her top priority. We would talk but we both became stubborn and wouldn't change for the other. It's hard to see that I'm just as much to blame for this as she was, when she was the one who cheated and took advantage of me and my forgiveness...but I know I have to if I want to keep this situation from repeating in my life.
     
  10. razi

    razi New Member

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    yeah, cut off all contact. don't even make eye contact with her if you do see her.
     
  11. ia_cox

    ia_cox Active Member

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    Yeah, I've been trying to do that. I have a few classes with her, and I'm trying to sit in front of her so it's her staring at the back of my head for 50 min instead of the other way around. Today was a far better day than yesterday was...seems to be ever closer light at the end of the tunnel.:)
     
  12. Gregsaidthat

    Gregsaidthat "Individuality is the new conformity"

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    Yeah...putting things behond slowly is the key to getting over these things.
     
  13. RuskeR

    RuskeR ReksuR

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    :werd:
     

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