SRS define alcoholism.......

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by kid hideous, May 19, 2007.

  1. kid hideous

    kid hideous New Member

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    i drink every day, on weekends i drink when i wake up as well, even if i'm 'not drinking' that night i still have a couple of beers just to take the edge off things

    i spose i just do it cos i can, like when i didn't have any money i didn't drink every night, but i live alone and a lot of the time i just get home and can't be bothered to do anything except sit and watch movies or go on the bulleting boards and have a few drinks

    i don't usually get that drunk, it's just like a habit

    i would say it is a bit of problem, but i manage to hold down my job and
    i have friends who i hang out with and i haven't done that thing where i got too drunk and lost a load of friends or my girlfriend left me cos i was too messy for a few years now. i spose i could achieve more if i didn't get drunk every day, but on the other hand i don't feel like i'm wasting my life cos of drink

    what would ex alcoholics say to me?

    i spose re: this thread it's just good to get it out, even if it is just on a internet....
     
  2. i killed tupac

    i killed tupac New Member

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    when my entire life and thinking oriented around drugs/alcohol, thats when i found i had a problem. Sure, i had jobs, relationship, but they were all a sham, just time in between getting loaded, and existed to facilitate my getting loaded. I found i could no longer live with drugs, and could not live without them, either.

    There is no such thing as an "ex" alcoholic. It is a disease, incurable, treatable, medically diagnosable, and genetic. It cannot be undone.
     
  3. kid hideous

    kid hideous New Member

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    i agree with the first part

    i only ever been out with girls who are drinkers as well
     
  4. i killed tupac

    i killed tupac New Member

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    thats shaky ground when you are new to recovery. My girlfriend drinks socially, because she is not an alcoholic. I got to bars very rarely, usually the main attraction itself is not alcohol, it would be a sports pub type of deal. even when i am in a bad space, i still wouldnt go, and i have over 8 years clean. Mainly it is a choice of principle now, alcohol causes more destruction and chaos than any other drug that has ever existed, i do not want to support the places that sell it if at all possible.
     
  5. Colonel Panic

    Colonel Panic New Member

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    Wow. Thanks for reminding me how depressing my life used to be.

    Challenge yourself to 90 meetings in 90 days. If you find that it's not for you, you can always go back to doing what you're doing now.

    As for your original post, here is the Wikipedia definition:
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alcoholism

    Here is another link of interest:
    http://www.ehealthmd.com/library/alcohol-use/alcoholuse-alcoholic.html

    Good Luck
     
  6. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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  7. i killed tupac

    i killed tupac New Member

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    try it for 30 days. you can always have back what you have now.
     
  8. kid hideous

    kid hideous New Member

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    thing with AA for me is that a lot of their text seems to be really strongly christian, and that whole 'try it for 90 meetings' sounds like a cult or something. i don't want to replace one addiction with another one, i believe change comes from within

    I've known a few junkies who have gotten into religion and given up drugs and while i spose that they are better off than they were on drugs, it's not where i want to be, that whole admitting defeat isn't where i come from
     
  9. i killed tupac

    i killed tupac New Member

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    AA is a little more conservative than NA, but you will not find the word "Christ" anywhere in their literature, either. Remember, Christians believe that Jesus was god, still exists, and will come back. You wont find that anywhere in AA.

    NA even less so, in fact we dont even allow the Lords prayer in our meetings, where AA does.

    Stop looking for ways you are different, and start looking for ways you can relate.
     
  10. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    It's not christian. You can use and/or pick any definition of a higher power that works for you. Don't get hung up on the word God, a lot of AAs prefer the term, Higher Power and that's in the AA literature.

    Seriously, you can use any concept for a Higher Power. Some people use the actual AA group for their Higher Power and that's perfectly acceptable.
    Yeah I thouht AA was a cult also when I first started going. It's not. The whole 90 meetings in 90 days is because when drinking, we alcoholics spend a lot of time doing that....we need help breaking the cycle and going to meetings is one way. A cult usually has one leader and everyone else is in support of that leader....that's not the way it works in AA. In fact, it's what's known as an upside down organization. In most organizations (cults included) they are shaped like a pyramid with one person at the top. AA is structured like an upside down pyramid with the groups at the top....that means all groups. THere's not one person controlling anything and we don't need any more members. There aren't any dues or fees for being a member....yes we pass a basket but you aren't required to put any money in EVER. You can simply show up and that's perfectly ok.

    Regarding replacing one addiction for another....well going to meetings has never caused me to go to jail nor wreck my car nor get into a fist fight. Is it an addiction....not like alcohol is. I don't go because I'm "addicted" to meetings, I keep going because I enjoy them. I feel better after going and it's really one of the only places I can go and tell people all the fucked up shit going on in my head (and I'm thinking they will think I'm crazy) and they actully understand. THey don't make me feel stupid or weak, they help me realize that others think and feel the same things I'm thinking and feeling.
    Again, you don't have to "get religion" to get clean/sober. It's a spiritual program, not a religious one. There's a huge difference between spirituality and religion.

    I had the hardest time admitting defeat. It went totally against my male ego and I really thought I just needed to exert my will and "be strong" and I could whip my drinking. I didn't think AA could help me. Then I started going to meetings because I was desperate. I knew I couldn't keep going the way I was because my life was going down the toilet and I couldn't seem to stop it from happening.

    Just know that if you decide to go to an AA meeting, you can say all of these things there and talk with others in the program about these sorts of issues. Many of us have felt the same way when we first started going to AA and it's much more difficult in a forum to address these issues. It's much easier talking about these in person.
     
  11. kid hideous

    kid hideous New Member

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    thank you cootie, you have cleared up a lot of my prejudices, i'm not really into spiritualism at all, but having someone to talk to would be nice. i do have friends who i talk to, but that usually involves a lot of wine

    i think i would probably benefit from going to someting like AA just to chat about shit rather than posting it on a bulleting board

    I do get in all sorts of trouble through being drunk, but a lot of that is me before i ever got drunk. i've arranged to go to meetings before and then decided to just do it alone rather than admitting that i need support, and asking for help is a lot harder than pretending you don't need it

    but my life isn't going down the toilet, it's really good at the moment, i would like someone to talk to about all this shit in my head, but i'm just worried that you have to program stuff into yourself,
    and i don't think my problem is that serious that i have to program stuff into myself
     
  12. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    You're welcome...I'm glad my mega post helped!

    Keep in mind, you don't have to be into any sort of spiritualism to go or to even start working the steps, or to even get 5 years of sobriety....or 30 years. It's not like at some point you'll have to make a "declaration of spiritualism" or anything like that. However, finding a power greater than ourselves that can do for us what we can't do for ourselves, is an essential part of the process of working the step.

    This is not some indoctrination into the program tho. THey are just suggestions. It's those of us that have found a solution to our drinking that want to share what worked for us, with other people that are suffering. We're not telling to you do anything and there are no rules. We however have found a solution to our drinking problem and many millions of people have also found the solution works for them.

    But please don't let any ideas of thoughts about a higher power or God or spirituality or any of that keep you from AA. You can work all that stuff out in time and you will find many people that are willing to discuss your reservations in non-judgemental ways.
    Yeah it's kind of hard on a board to adequatly convey the ideas because type is so easy to misintrepret. The best times to chat are before and after meetings and I've been known to spend 4-5 hours after a meeting just talking with other drunks about all sorts of things.

    One of the things that keeps me going back to meetings is the fellowship I've found. These are other people that really know what it's like to live with alcoholism. Keep in mind, I didn't think I was an alcoholic when I showed up. But what I heard amazed me. These people talked about their feelings and at various times I felt the same way. I was blown away because I'd never heard anyone else talk like this....like ever!!

    It was really nice finding out I wasn't the only one in the world that felt and thought the way I did. WOW....what a gift indeed.
    Yeah I've heard it said in meetings...and I agree...that I didn't get in trouble every time I drank but every time I got into trouble I had been drinking. Sure there were times when trouble popped up when I was sober but very often it was a hold over issue from a previous drunk.
    You don't have to admit shit. Just go and when you introduce yourself just say, "I have a desire not to drink." That desire might only last for 1 second...or less....but if it was there...then you have a desire. That's all....pretty easy huh?

    As far as asking for help....it can be really difficult for me also and I've been around the program for many years. Seems like I never want to ask for help until I'm just beaten down and in so much pain that I simply can't take it anymore. Then out of desperation I usually ask for help and you know what....I usually find it and feel much better.
    Well your situation doesn't have to be just like mine, nor anybody else's. In fact, my particular situations are different than most peoples....I've discovered this over many years in the program....but that's ok, I've found the similarities between me and other alcoholics. That's what we talk about in meetings....to listen for the similarities, not the differences. If you look hard enough, you'll find differences between you and everyone else in a meeting. Many people use those diffences to keep them away from meetings and to keep them from working the steps. That's too bad becuase there are a lot of differences between any 2 alcoholics.

    The good news is that there are also a lot of similarities. This is good because it means I don't ahve to have lived the life that someone else has in order to be an alcoholic and I can find the help I need.

    So please, if/when you go to a meeting, try to listen for how you are similar not how you are different.

    As far as programming stuff into you....well there are 12 steps and we do suggest you work them becuase they helped us and we want to help you...but only if you want the help. That means that if you want to keep drinking, that's your business. IF you want to stop, that's our business and we're here to help. Like I said before tho, the steps are only suggestions and it takes time to work them. Hell you didn't get to this current position in life overnight and you won't get out of it overnight. It takes time.

    Again, you don't have to ask for help in your first meeting but you might find that you feel better if you do. One thing I've always tried to do when I'm sharing in an AA meeting is to simply be 100% honest about where I am....even if that means I'm really fucking confused right now....or lost or scared or whatever. I have found that when I speak from my heart, people will listen and help and I'll usually leave feeling better about myself and my life. When I try to act like I'm fine....people will accept me but I leave not feeling much better about myself or my life.

    Sorrry for the 2nd mega post but this is why it helps to be face to face. I could say all this shit in about 1/10th of the time it took me to type it. However, I hope it helps and I hope you'll consider going to an AA meeting tonight....they usually start at 8pm. I'm definately going!!
     
  13. i killed tupac

    i killed tupac New Member

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    sometime i just just ramble on for 5 minutes or so, dont even remember what i say half the time :rofl:

    It is virtually impossible to look bad in a 12 step meeting.
     
  14. kid hideous

    kid hideous New Member

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    no i appreciate these posts cootie, like you said i have a lot of prejudices against these organisations like AA cos i know that they are founded on the best intentions in the world, and that they have genuinely saved a lot of lives, or even just made peoples lives better, i think for me it's just because they are so sure about stuff, while i think you should question everything till it falls apart, then choose if you like it or not

    in the last year or so i have gotten a much better handle on my drinking, but it is a constant battle, that thing where you realise that your body is screaming at you to feed it alcohol but your mind doesn't even want to drink is close to hell

    i should find a meeting and go, even just to go, like when i was a kid i was made to go and see a councillor cos i used to skip school every day, and we just talked shit for an hour, but even just the fact that i had met up with a councillor woke me up to myself a bit
     
  15. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    THey are so sure about stuff cuz they've usually tried everything else, then they tried AA and found something that actually worked for a large number of people. If I know that I have tools that can help someone if that person will only use the tools, it's hard to get me to listen to what they have to say about these tools. I mean they haven't used them and they aren't able to stay sober so how much faith can be placed in their ideas??

    You won't find a more inquisitive person than me. I question everything! Just ask my professors! lol With AA it was suggested that I try it for awhile, perhaps 1 year, and see if my life isn't better....then judge. They said they'd be happy to refund my misery, with interest. :rofl:

    So that sounded good to me, I mean what's the worst that could happen by diving all the way in?? I might actually get and stay sober and if it turns out to be a cult, I'm out...immediatly. But in the meantime, I'm going to do everything they suggest because something is obviously working for them...and they tell me it's those damned steps. So I did what they told me to do...but I still had questions. That's where a sponsor is great and they really help a lot.
    Here's the really kick ass thing about AA, I don't have to fight to not take a drink anymore. I used to have to work really hard to stay away from a drink. Not anymore. In fact most days, I don't even think about drinking.

    How did this happen when I used to obsess about drinking pretty much all the time??? It happened by working the steps with my sponsor. That's where I found real relief from my drinking. It was really amazing....it was like one day I realized that I hadn't wanted a drink nor had I even thought about a drink for a long time....I don't know how long but it was like a week or something. Not only that, I wasn't pissed off at all about it. I was actually happy and at peace. Holy shit..I really couldn't believe it and I really don't know when it (the program) started to work for me but I know it was somewhere after step 5.

    But you know what...you might not be an alcoholic. That's why I linked those questions in one of my previous posts...because they might help you figure out whether or not you really are a drunk or not.

    Hey if you're not, I'll be the first to wish you well. If you, or anyone, can stop drinking on their own and live a happy, joyous and free lifestyle, more power to ya!! I'll be extremely happy for you. I just know that I need help to stay sober so I'll keep going to those meetings and working with newcomers and other drunks. I love the program...it's really a lot of fun after awhile.
    I was scared shitless to go to my first meeting. I was afraid if I went in I'd see someone I knew then I wouldn't be able to drink like I wanted to anymore. I had to force myself to go. I'm so glad I did.

    Remember, you don't have to admit anything in those meetings...you can go and just listen. Don't put any money in the basket, drink some coffee and just sit back and listen to other people talk. aahhh...I love it.

    EDIT: God damn....another mega post. Shit I really tried to keep this one short. lol
     
  16. kid hideous

    kid hideous New Member

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    thanks for all your help cootie

    don't really have anything else to add at the moment but i do appreciate you answering my questions etc :):)

    i got 6-6 on the AA test btw
     
  17. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    Anytime man.
     

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