SRS Decisions, what to do.

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by DigiCrime, Jul 12, 2005.

  1. DigiCrime

    DigiCrime If Only!

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    Breaking out of my lease is what I would like to do, I signed a 14 month lease last november at 840 a month, im going to be two months behind plus a partial 540 payment from the third month by August 1st so im guessing their going to evict my ass soon if I dont pay them something, no one has said anything yet but im expecting it. There is a claus in my contract that says I can break out with only paying one payment upon leaving if I am moving due to employment but I dont understand it, its written in a vocabular that im to stupid to understand, more I read it mroe frustrated I get. Asking my friends for help is like talking to a rock. I have a lot going wrong in my life reason enough to break out of it, to the point its depressing me more and more, its effecting my work which I fear the worse is getting released, my temper is gettingn shorter, im finding it extremly difficult to focus, find myself with horrible thoughts, things you would not think about. Stress from family isn't helping matters

    Venting I guess I feel like an idiot, embarrassed, defeated. Somehow I think if i let things ride out as their going its going to all come clashing down. I have a lot on my chest, and no one to talk to anymore :wtc:
     
  2. hudson

    hudson movement

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    even with that clause you will have to get current or else they will sue you. Get yourself on a budget and start working on getting yourself current. Talk to them about the situation and work it out like an adult. ignoreing the problem will only make it worse.

    I wrote this a few weeks ago, please read it I think it might help. or PM me if you want some more private details

    http://forums.offtopic.com/showthread.php?t=1865305
     
  3. beanolo

    beanolo It does a body good!!!1

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    Well. That "clause".. sounds like a 30-day notice. So if you need to move or something due to employment (beyond your control), normally you would have to provide a proof of moving, + pay at least the last months rent, 30 day notice. So it doesn't mean that what you own them just magically disappears.

    Take a step back. Take a deep breath. And pull yourself together. I've been in some shitty situations before, and although this might sound retarded, what I did is printed out a sheet of paper in the largest, boldest font, that said "PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER" and taped it up in my room where I could see it daily.

    Sometimes you can't rely on others for help, and need to just tackle one thing at a time instead of multiple things. Good luck. :)
     
  4. tris

    tris New Member

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    Well, we're here to talk, so you've come to the right place.

    How's a positive outlook sound?
     
  5. DigiCrime

    DigiCrime If Only!

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    I can provide them proof that I have to move because of employment. The benifit from this is more hours, more pay, clean slate, Bills will follow but my family stress is whats bothering me, with being behind on everything else just makes me that more stressed out.

    hudson, Ive read that before, few months ago. My situation prohibits me from opening any more credit cards, opening any loans or payday loans. I am unable to get cash or loans if I needed it, I cannot transfer balances from credit cards to another due to a previous Chapter 13 Bankruptcy in 2001. By august 1st, Ill owe my renters 2320. Ill clear maybe 1300 in next two weeks work is slow so i wont have that many hours to turn in. Ill talk to them but I still have other things to look at, food, electric, medicine. I work from home so I need my electric for my computer to work and my internet is a month behind already and I need that as well so I been paying them partial payment to keep them from disconnecting.... I made a mistake by taking an advancement on pay to loan to my brother now I have to pay for that mistake, with an extra person who stays with me now who makes very very little money their contribution doesnt help much. I dont live beyond what I can afford, Ive always had money left over after bills, I truly thought I was going to get back what I loaned but I didnt so the mistake I made was doing it in the first place. My brother is family, he is trying but its not working out to well for him either. This is why im in debt.

    Heres what my contact says basically... word for word just a clip from where ti says Employment Transfer. If the effetive date of such ternination shall be prior to the seventh consecutive month during which resident shall have been party to a lease within the apartment company in which the lease premises are located, the resident shall pay to apartment company, with the notice hereinabove required, and in addition to payment of rent and all other amounts, if any, due hereunder as hereinabove set forth an amount equal to one months rent due hereunder. In addtion tot he required payments hereinabove se forth, Resident shall also forfeit the security deposit held by Apartment Company pursuant to the provisions of paragraph 2

    etc etc. Way I understand it is you need a 30 day notice and they want one month rent after that and contract is terminated. I dont care about the deposit that was only 200 bucks. But if after I pay up all past rent I have 4 more months left I made it this far I might as well stay I guess :hs: Once your in debt its hard to get out of that debt. I used to get bonus's and what not but I dont get them anymore cause work is so damn slow. IM trying to sell my old camaro but not found any buyers for it yet.

    Im stressed out is all
     
  6. Team503

    Team503 Guest

    First off, if you're that bad off, my honest advice is to get rid of the freeloader. Second, when you're behind on your bills, you're in no position to be loaning people. Third, cut off EVERYTHING you don't need - cable (other than internet), cellphone, home phone, etc. Call every credit card you have that you're paying on, and talk to them about getting a very low minimum payment for a few months - explain you're on your way back to being current, but if you can't pay rent, you're not going to have a job.
     
  7. beanolo

    beanolo It does a body good!!!1

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    Well he already admitted that loaning out money was a bad idea, no sense bringing up the past. It's done.

    As far as the person living with you, is it a roommate? If so, find another one. Specially if they're not living up to the expectations you probably have set.. and ESPECIALLY if its actually costing you money to have that person there.
     
  8. DigiCrime

    DigiCrime If Only!

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    Person who lives with me is my grandma. My mom was recently diagnosed with Breast Cancer she is already on treatment and what not. THis was hard to accept she was the last person I would ever think to get sick, now both my parents have cancer. Most of my family has died from cancer so its been an up and down emotional ride for the past eight years having to deal with it. My priorities have shifted now to help them when I can. My grandma, onyl one I have left actually she cannot see very well, she has something called Macular Degeneration, she cant be left alone otherwise she could harm herself, even though she tries to do what she used to she only causes more problems, recently having a heartattack last december just added to her problems with having to pay more money for doctor bills and medicine. She lives with me, I take care of her. My life kind of sits on hold now with her being here, I cant go no where without taking her along with me. She did stay with my parents but my dad still does work off and on, but he will loose his Job next year in July 2006 when new budget comes in so he has had advance warning, he has a hard time walking around, eating, sleeping, hes trying to recover from alcoholism of 40 years, thats what he say. My mom, she cant no longer work and cant stay awake most of the time. She needs to be watched all the time, she came here. She needs the meds and she takes 5 different ones, she still makes a car payment which she cant even drive the car no more, and isnt even drivable no more, blown engine. She put everything into a debt collection thing she pays every month which disberses her money to things she owes, missing payments they cancel the contract and she goes back to paying normal rates with interest and fee's or something along that line. She gets in what a normal person would make on min wage. She strongly believes her bills are more important, she does not buy her food unless shes forced to shes actually a pain in the ass to have around, the guilt trips and ultimatives are hard to deal with.

    When my mom was cleaning out my brothers room one day while he was gone she found some letters he had wrote to friends but never mailed explaining about some sort of brain tumor he has Ive forgot what it is now. No one has approached him about it, as im sure its sensitive. It may be a lie I dunno but being how he acts mentally and physically its little hard to not think it may be true.

    My sister has three kids, and works, so does her husband so they hav etheir own lifes and dont want my grandma with them my brother has no way of taking care of her, since i am home all the time, im left with the responsbility. I cant throw her out, no one wants her, everyone knows, even when she was normal how much interferences, or headaches shes caused. Shes helped me in the past so I would feel like a hypocrite not having her here, its not costing me that much to have her around but the problem im in is going to effect us both, not just me. Theres an option that she can stay with my moms sister, she lives in another state, they wont come get her that I know of

    Turning off what I dont need. My cell phone which happens to be the only phone in the house has a 250 contract fee to cancel, my satelite which has basic programming on it now has the same fee for canceling. I canceled my DSL that had a 150 contract fee to break. I dont see that helping anything. Ill call the CC people talk to them about something but I dont know how thatll turn out Ive had previous credit cards before, its usually all or nothing, settlements are all up front maybe a percentage taken off but its all up front. I onyl have two, one is current, other one is just short of being closed and balance in full. I am trying to hold on to them, once your credit is ruined speciallly from a bankruptcy you have very slim chances of getting it back in line in the next five years without some high interests, deposits or some rules you have to follow whatever the case may be.

    One parent out of work, another one to follow soon, neither one has beaten cancer one just diagnosed with it and slim chance of beating it according to doctors because its to far along about as much as I know. When I moved out on my own, the balance was looking good but I made a mistake, I dont handle stress to well I have extrodinarly bad luck so I dont make new ventures or try much of anything new, most of what I have tried theres defeat on the other end so eventually paranoya gets the best of me, my focus is off, I cant concentrate, etc I have my own set of health problems which I need to see a doctor(s) about eventually or itll get the best of me. i helped my brother last year< i bought a car for myself but I ended up letting him drive it, mistake made is he never paid me back for the maintenance and gas I provided for him which costed more then what I had paid for the car... but it did land him a better paying job with management which was recent. So I assumed we could put this behind us and start over... I made the same mistake twice on a second car by paying his insurance, car payment, taxes and some materials. I never got the money back. So not only do I feel stupid, but hurt and let down. The first time wasnt so bad because I didnt shell out as much all at once so I was able tor ecover from it. He knows my situation id ont have room to budge if I get into a pinch. Last year I made more money then I had ever made in my entire working life, I got advances from my boss, lots of bonus's this was all cash to, I took it for granite and pissed a lot of it away but I had no attachments, or responsibilities, I moved out starting my own life thinking this will be great and the bonus's and advancements stopped because work died off so now I no longer work as much as I do because theres not as much TO do. Worst decision I made but how was I to know to?

    I have my own life that I have to worry about I cannot run to my parents for help if I need it, while everyone needs to make their own way in life, I only get one chance at it, theres no one there to help me if I get into a bind. Im trying to look towards my own future or plan for it if it makes any sense, its scary. While other people have far worse problems i feel embarrassed to talk about mine, I have no intelect sometimes to explain whats going on so I feel completely dumb... but I have to let it out eventually or Ill explode. Now that my life story is on OT wonder who will be the first to rub it in my face :hs:
     
  9. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    You have money problems (The obvious?)

    You need a set of Financial Golden rules.

    1. Never lend money.
    2. Never invest money into paying something that you cannot afford to lose.
    3. Don't live on Big Foot (don't waste more money then that comes in)
    4. Money belongs only in 1 place (your wallet) or bankaccount.
    5. Only buy things that you REALLY need.
    6. Compare, dont immediatly buy the first thing you see, compare it with other things.
    7. Flip a dime 3 time , its an old saying but it works, think 3 times before you buy.
    8. Do it yourself. Maby you are handy it can safe you a lot of money.
    9. Bring structure into your financial situation (im going to explain the 2/3 method)
    10.Sit like the devil on your money.

    Those will be your 10 commandments. And especially nr.10 , i don't want you to be a greedy person. Its actually very good to be a kind and generous person. But don't give away to a person the fundaments of your house, he will lend it but your house will collapse behind you. =/

    Now (and im not kidding) bring all your credit cards to your computer, grab a pair of siccors and cut them (yes all of them) , from now on you will only have your wallet, and that will contain your cash , this is to give you a TRUE value and meaning and sense of loss of money ,when you pick a dollar out of it, you will truelly feel that you lost something, instead of the virtual ,pin a million dollars like its nothing credit card horror. You see what i am trying to say to you? You need to feel that you are losing something.

    Now i want to talk about your appartment or whatever you are living in, 810 dollars a month is very expensive. I have the sensation that you think to (light) about money, am i right? I also feel that the financial decisions you make are highly irrisponsible. Ehm the general idea what you have to have is 'i am going to die when i spend this poor coin' , you have to (honestly) be like Scrooge Mc Duck. And be cunningly busy with trying to get more money all the time.

    Now i really sympathize, and i want to say money isn't important compared to being a loving and helping person. I want you to understand that love is supreme and that without it our lives are meaningless, and that we have to have a loving interaction with our fellow man. However simular whise when you don't have cash you have a shitty life at the current moment, and i am worried about your Grandma, and i feel sad that (i will pray for you) cancer and death along with alcoholism and all those healthproblems have come upon you. I want you to get yourself a cheaper appartment, and maby go to the local job agency to find yourself a newer and better paying job. Go for SECURITY, don't do anything that will jeopardize your financial situation.
     
  10. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    http://forums.offtopic.com/showthread.php?t=1865305 is a good thread on money issues.

    The 2/3 method means , that you use 1/3 for livelyhood and 2/3 for savings/debt solvement. That way you can easily devide what you earn in 3 pieces, and put forward 2/3 into dealing with debt solvement, and 1/3 into your livelyhood.

    Be aware of that theres and important link between time/money. You want to solve debt ASAP , because that gives you the room to breathe, whenever you are unable to immediatly solve it, you want to spread the blow over as big time period of paying of as possible , because that would pressurize you the least. And in the meantime, you go search/work for funds as crazy in order to get your stuff organized as quickly as possible.
     
  11. hudson

    hudson movement

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    nobody is going to rub it in your face here in the asylum, this is what this forum is for.
    Do you have any other jobs ouside of your home business?
     
  12. DigiCrime

    DigiCrime If Only!

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    No. my job now is generally reliable can find something similar as part time but i guess its been slow for everyone else to not finding anything. I had a resume up on Monster.com for little over six years now updated it as I go only had one call and someone else got the job so I took it down after that. Searching for something else part time but cant find to much there either. Job finding is becoming selective now. Alcohol and concrete curb a few years ago took care of that now I have back problems. Ill take whatever work till something goes wrong just isnt a good idea. Why I work at home now. With them limitations now I have another one, has to be at night while my grandma is sleeping.... couple days ago I went outside to start my car let it run for a while cause its just setting, in less then 20 mins from across the street I could hear my firealarms going off from her cooking, something in the burner tray caught fire. so I couldnt leave her here alone :(

    Now I know how full time parents feel when they work and have kids. Ill find the right balance some time after unloading all this Ive felt better getting it off my chest.
     
  13. hudson

    hudson movement

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    Thats a start at least.

    Are you doing a written budget? If not i'd be more then willing to help you with one.

    also please read re-read and read again Darketernal's posts, he said some very important things.

    I get the sense that you are a very loving person, and that is a very admirable trait, but your doing it at the expense of yourself, soon the money and the stress are going to lead into health problems. belive me i know from experiance. There is nothing wrong with helping your family and struggling along with them. But there has to be good boundries. And i'm sensing that your brother way oversteped whats a healthy boundry.
     
    Last edited: Jul 13, 2005
  14. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    You know , if i where you i would try to get a place for her in the elderly persons house. I don't know if there is such a thing in your local vacinity, but if you tell them the story that she needs to be taken , because when you leave for work she accidently almosts sets the house on fire ,and if you say its because she cant see that well, yadayada dependency. You might get a confirmation, that she applies to being taken into one of them vacinities specially for older people. That would take away such a burden from your life, and they can take much better care for her then you could ever do. It would save you money + mayhem. You need more of the first, and less of the second. Its becoming such a havoc in your current situation now, that i would give several pleads to several (well looked into)institutions to see where you granny might be the happiest. Also when looking for a job , don't use the internet/phone/mail,or e-mail or sending cv's, go everywhere in the 'flesh' , and when you've done an interview you may give your CV afterwards, i've noticed that everything that is unpersonal, reduces your chances of getting a job, and what is more personal then coming to your employer that you wish for in person yourself? It worked best for me,and the other methods did not.
     

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