SRS Decaying family relationships, don't know what to do

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by torrynt, Jun 29, 2005.

  1. torrynt

    torrynt New Member

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    not long ago, i firmly believed that problems should be kept to ones self and dealt with on an individual basis, to make one stronger. after some recent events though, i have found that that is the case, and so now i am here to sort of get an unbiased perspective on my situation.
    about a year ago, my mom was diagnosed with celiac disease that doctors say she probably would have died soon without change in diet. my dad, understandably, started to freak out about losing his wife. the whole family did everything they could to help. however, my father and i have for the most part disagreed about everything, and we argue all the time. during this early period after my mom's diagnosis, my dad was a little more charged than normal and we got into a heated argument and he ended up swinging and hitting me in the face, good. we got into a fight, but then got broken up. my family didn't see the beginning, and my dad has been telling them i threw the first punch. for about 8 months after that for my entire senior year in high school, we continued to argue, except more hateful like cussing each other out. my mom's condition worsened; i feel bad, i would probably feel worse seeing two people in my family go at each other like we did. since we had broken that physical barrier that one night, we ended up getting into fist fights frequently, until one time i ended up breaking my dad's jaw and he had to get 9 stiches. i felt bad, but it was an accident, and we were both fighting. however, my dad kind of went berserk and held me hostage for awhile threatening to call the police if i did anything, since he had tangible proof from a fight. i don't know what would have happened if he did call the police, but i didn't want the police to come period, especially with my mom the way she was. so i ended up being a bitch for a little while. then on my 18th birthday, everything just went crazy. they and i knew that i didn't have to leave anymore, and that might have been the reason that happened. but i essentially threw off the hostage scenario thing once and for all, and we got into another fight. my guitar and stuff like that got destroyed, and he threw me out of the house. i was able to go back for some clothes, and have been staying at a friend's house for the summer. i go to college in the fall, and thankfully it is completely paid by financial aid. i got a job, so i am good. though, it is the rest of my family that i miss. my mom might die soon in her condition, and i don't want that to happen when there is something that i could do or under the recent situations. then my three sisters that i miss. i wish i could see them, but then i would have to see my dad again. i'm not a wuss and not afraid he will kick my butt, it just is despairing for me to even be around him or when i hear people talk about him. he has been telling my sisters that i was on drugs and that i stole money, both of which are false. i don't know what to do. if i do nothing, i'm afraid the lies will seep in and my sisters and mom will turn their back on me. but if i go back, i could get myself in a situation with the police. ah shit, i sorta just needed to get this off my chest.
     
  2. AstroGirl

    AstroGirl If I don't respond it's because I have severe ADD

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    Her mosa? ITS MY MOSA!!!
    For family, I would risk going back. What is the worst the police can do to you? How long agoe did you break his jaw? If it is all healed it is not like he can call the police and anything will happen right away. He doesn't have a restraining order on you, so you are fully allowed to go back to the house. Can you go when your dad wont be home?
     
  3. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    Oh gosh what a devestating situation. You two have both been on the wrong side of the story, you see your mother is a celiac patient and treating her requires a specialized approuch, none of you (neither your dad or you yourself) are qualified to judge on what should or should not have happend, i would go with your dad to a qualified docter and seek for information on how a housebounded celiac patient should receive treatment, then you and your dad would have been able to avoid the conflict, and would be informed on how your mother should be treated and could adjust in that pattern.

    In a difficult time where someone gets a disease or horrible accident, we use family to stick together and to give eachother vast support during these difficult times and help eachother to revive the patient and times of possible prayer where we ask for recover and show our emotions of love for this person.

    Not bashing eachother into the hospital, you'll only end up with 2 or more patients in the family :(

    Look, for the sake of your mom, i would at least apologize to your dad, and ask how mom is doing. They may never want you back for your irrisponsible behaviour , but at least you could pay your respect for your parents BOTH of them. They still are the ones who brought you up with love and feeded you to become the independent young adult that you are now.

    Look, you don't even have to go to the house, if i where you i would give phonecalls to your mom as much as possible, this way you give back some room for new relation building blocks, use your heart man , not your fists. You've seen how they only wreck the place and remove you from the family you love. Never fight evil with evil, only fight evil with love. You have big fists, but i want you to make a promise not for me, but for your mother to never use them for your own gain , so you may learn why you have been gifted with them.
     

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