What would you do if you were a young lady, a year from graduating college virtually debt free. You had a dream of starting your masters within a year of graduation while working on moving out, and getting a full time job. Some day you had the dreams of getting married, starting a decent sized family, buying a house and if possible being a full time mother or working part time and being a mother if necessary... Okay so you meet this guy and he like, is a really amazing guy. He is an amazing guy with some issues. He is 6 years older than you, never went to college, works in a retail store stocking shelves, lives in someones basement and is persistently broke. His car is so questionable he wont let you in it but at the same time doesn't make enough at his current job to even begin to look into something better, or to fix it. You know he feels bad about it. You know he isn't a bad guy. He isn't what you think of when you picture "that guy". He is looking for a better job but the economy is shit here unless you have a degree or want to make minimum wage. He had a really decent life going at one time and from how it sounds he got some bad breaks and kind of fell into a rut. Here is the thing.... You have been with this guy a few month now and despite all of that like, you can't picture a better guy as a person. You know he is very smart and if he had the money he would be in college but growing up he dealt with debt in the family and felt college would cost too much and did the whole, work first college later route that doesn't always work so well. So you found out a month or so ago about some previous debt. This debt was a sensitive subject to the guy so in the process you took it as some really really high credit card bills he was paying but getting virtually nowhere with. You thought about you future, and could accept it in a way because you could figure out how it could work and the debt could be taken care of. Say a couple days ago you found out you had not understood. This debt is collection agencies. This guy has stopped getting bills. You don't even know if he has ANY idea what he owes or how long he hasn't been paying on his debt for. You know its a lot because he told you an amount that was estimated but possibly a lot more than what you were told. You would hope if he had money to give them he would be working on it but it doesn't seem like he is going anything about it. Its like he is pretending it isn't there. He says he might have to declare bankruptcy. In all honesty you don't know a lot about debt but in your eyes, staying with him, if it were to work out, a lot of your future could change. A lot of hard work to get where you are will only be met by hard work for something you never did to have what you want. Your mother has basically demanded you call off the relationship after finding out but you kind of told your mom to manager her own life and stay out of yours. You are stressed out about it and need to talk to him about it but you don't know what to say. I bought a car in high school. I put a few thousand down. I took out a 5 year loan to pay it off and I make fairly decent but not large payments on it. I am almost done paying it off. His debt is more than what my car cost me when I bought it... That I haven't even paid off yet.. Thats like........ Mind blowing to me that in the end he is going to pay all that money like I have the last 4 or so years, and in the end have nothing to show for it really except not owning money and a shitty credit score... This is really really bothering me. I think I need to tell him he needs to figure it out and like NOW because he can't just pretend it isn't there. If some day I am going to marry the guy which I realize is thinking ahead by a lot but I mean... I dunno... You have to deal with his shitty credit even if yours is good when that happens. I want him to fix it early off so that maybe.. when one of those life points I have always pictured happens I wont have to jump though hoops financially... But what if he can't afford anything.. I dunno.. What would you guys think if someone you knew were in my shoes? I don't think any less of him because of his debt but maybe it sounds that way?!?!?! It just makes me sad that someone who makes me so happy can kind of make my future harder.... And I don't like that he is sitting on it like that........ Debt just gets worse. If he DOES have to declare bankruptcy maybe he should do it sooner than later?!?!?! I don't know.. If someone can explain this credit stuff to me I would appreciate it..