SRS Death of my father.

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by 4amNow, Aug 4, 2006.

  1. 4amNow

    4amNow New Member

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    I am 24 and have a brother who is 20 and our father recently just passed away from a car crash by a woman running away from a police pursuit.

    It has been three 3 days since it happened. it has been the longest 3 days of my life so far. As you can imagine,we have been devastated since the knock of the door by the police during hte middle of the night, especially we knew that dad wasn't home yet. It has really been a surreal experience. The fear and pain was so powerful.

    Three days have bassed as I said, and i am not sure how sad i am. i feel really quite numb. We are a very tight family with a lot of support and i am wondering if anyone has experience with a tragic event like this.
     
  2. whelen1

    whelen1 New Member

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    No advice other than stay strong and spend A LOT of time with family.:hug: :hug:
     
  3. bangbanger

    bangbanger Welcome To Banger Country.

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    Well, my grandpa passed away a little over a year ago. Not from a car crash or anything but he was sick for a while then got put in the hospital and was told along with the family that he was getting better. 2 days later he died. He was a good man and only 55 years old. And when this happened I guess it hit me hard, but what I did was put on a dont care type attitude that I do with everything else, because I needed to be strong to help the rest of my family through it.
    The best advise I can give you is be there for the rest of the family and be strong, you will get past this event but It will be hard. You just need to be strong and think about the good times you had with your father, and not this horiffic event.
    I am not sure if I should talk about the lady who caused this but I think its only for the best since you will have to deal with that part a little bit also. She is going to be taken to court and she will 99.99 % be charged with vehicular manslaughter or something along those lines. If you have to appear in court, or you deside to appear in court to see her get charged or what not. Just remember dont be there for revenge and blow up and attack her or what not, just be calm and know she will be spending about 25 years in prison not being able to do anything but think of what she has done. You might even make admends with her while she is there. She will most likely write a letter to the family saying how sorry she is, and some other things to try getting it past her. It will be hard but you have to deal with it with calmness.
    In the end just be strong, and help the rest of the family through it.
     
  4. toeshoes

    toeshoes Guest

    :hug: my deepest condolences.
     
  5. nish81

    nish81 OT Supporter

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    :hug: Spend time with your family. Heal.
     
  6. Fiya

    Fiya Guest

    I hope you end up alright, hon. :hug:

    I recently lost a close friend of mine, I've never lost a close family memeber, nor am I in a 'tight knit' family. But my friend was really important to me. We all just have to come to terms with these things in our own ways. It's not easy to wrap our fragile minds around the concept of death when we know so much of life, and nothing of death, having not expirienced it ourselves, obviously. Just take it one day at a time, and keep your other family members near. Best wishes to you.
     
  7. coma

    coma New Member

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    Well my father died in April, but he was 80 and in ill health, so it's nothing like your terrible circumstances. I'd say that the pain lasted about 2 weeks and the "numb" feeling is normal. I'm not sure what you mean by fear though.
    All I can say is that things WILL get better, hard as it may seem now. Hate to see someone your age go through this though...
     
  8. KatWoman

    KatWoman •••••••••••

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    My sister lost her first husband to a one-vehicle crash in the middle of the night (he was also out of state). He also had their youngest son with him, he survived. She got the knock at 1 or 2 AM and there was a police officer and a chaplain with him at the door. Her then-10 year old son (the older one)came out in the middle of the conversation. Then my mother and I got the call afterward. It was shocking and surreal. We hadn't heard from them in months (separate long story) then this.

    Obviously this didn't affect us the same as it did to her and her children (and his children from a previous marriage). But things definitely felt weird for the first few weeks after he was gone.

    You have a grieving process to go through and it sucks, there's no escaping that. But once things settle down you and your family will begin to pick up the pieces and move on. Things will be different without your father, and depending on how strong you folks are, things do "normalize" again after some time. They will never be the same, but you will have a new life routine.

    On a good note, you say you have a tight family and lots of support...that is a VERY good thing and probably the best thing you can have right now. I pray that you will find comfort from each other. The next few weeks will be rough, but do what you need to do to get through your grieving process. Don't be afraid to cry :hs:

    :hug:
     
  9. 4amNow

    4amNow New Member

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    It seems to be months since what happened, but it has only been 4 days. But everyday, our family is getting better thanks to my dad's view of life--things will always get better and don't worry about things that can't be changed.

    My mom is a really strong woman, and right now we are all focused on having a good funeral service fit for a great father, husband, brother and friend.
     
  10. OhFourTwoThree

    OhFourTwoThree New Member

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    I am sorry to hear. I recently lost my brother to a tragic accident a few months ago. I never thought I would lose one of my siblings before losing my parents. I imagined all of us growing old together. He was in his twenties. I never imagined that this would happen to one of us. I was not that close to him but we are a close knit family so it's been really hard on us all. It's only been a few months since the accident. I still think about him every day. I still have a hard time accepting that he is gone. I still sometimes cry when something reminds me of him such as a song or a quote I read or when I walk into his closet and see all his clothes/belongings. I try to be strong in front of others especially my parents because I know it's been so much harder for them than it has been for me.

    What I've learned from all this is that we should all live our life to the fullest as my brother did. He loved life and tried everything you could think of. He loved with all his heart and always tried his best. He was a forgiving person as well. We should also appreciate those around us because life can change within seconds. We could be seeing someone we love for the last time....
     
  11. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    I'm sorry to hear it. My half brother got a rude awakening one night by officers to tell him that his father had passed away. My half brothers dad died from a brain aneurism(sp?) in the middle of the night out of nowhere. I had to go meet up with him at the hospital and see him sobbing in agony because he and his dad was very close. Plus, he was his dad's only son, and his dad was about 3 weeks away from being a grandfather and was very excited about it. It was pretty tough. Time will help ease the pain.
     

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