Dealing with GF's family, How the hell do you do it?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by tubachris85x, Dec 17, 2007.

  1. tubachris85x

    tubachris85x New Member

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    Seriously, I get soooooooo frustrated with them. Not my GF, just her mother/younger sister. They are so fuckin immature, it would make your head explode. To make things worse, her 12 year old sister basically tells the family what to do, her mother is pascifist and baby's her 24/7.

    How the fuck can I deal with them? I feel like im about to lose my mind half the time im with them. My first day back home from break, I spent it with them, and its the same BS as usual. Too much unessessary "drama."

    The worst part of it is how fake they are. They are the type of people who "act" happy, like imagine the character personalities you see in a crappy disney show, and thats how they act. What makes them fake is how much anger is between them all and they are trying to "hide" it.

    God, things would be perfect if it were just my GF and not her mother/sister
     
  2. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    So don't hang out with them?
     
  3. tubachris85x

    tubachris85x New Member

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    Cant, her parents are the "do everying together" family..

    I try to get her to come to my place whenever possible
     
  4. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    I HATED my bfs ex's mother, and one of his sisters.
    I did the following
    1. Pretended I was doing an anthropological study
    2. Made it sort of a game to befriend them, it was kind of an experiment for me I guess, to see if I could get on with such repulsive people
     
  5. kronik85

    kronik85 New Member

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    one of my ex gf's family hated me, and that never really changed. there's only so much you can do. deal with it best you can.
     
  6. tubachris85x

    tubachris85x New Member

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    I told her that im just there for her, and not her family. Was just talking to her, saying that I need to "respect them, and be the 'bigger man.'" Tried for 2 years, only to be disrespected and treated like a "problem" to them. My gf always just gets lectures from them about how im "rude, and disrespectful" towards them, despite the fact that I dont do shit to them

    Pisses me off that they are the way they are. My gf is upset with me becuase she feel's im the one getting her caught in-between. I told her that it dosnt matter if im nice or mean, they will always have something to bitch about, its the way her family is.

    I dont know what to do, for the first time in my relationship, im actually questioning whether its worth all of this or not. She's going to be moving away for college next summer, I know by then, I wont have to deal with the family that much as I do now, but part of me just wants to say, "fuck this"
     
  7. jmezz

    jmezz layin in bed stretchin my pumped quads for hours

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    You're walkin on thin ice talking negatively to your gf about her family.

    Better be careful.
     
  8. BiG_aL

    BiG_aL New Member

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    my gf's family loves me. Her mom looks forward to me visiting over New Years because she figures it will keep the gf and her younger sister from fighting 24/7 lol.
     
  9. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :dunno: Deal with it? You barely see your girlfriend as it is and you have to expect this because she is still young and lives at home. Just deal with it and remind yourself that soon enough she'll be out of there and you won't have to deal with them so much. Not everyone enjoys or respects their SO's family, but if you love them you get over it.
     
  10. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    y dont you hang out at your house instead? or unless they live in a trailer go in a room and close the door.


    and i dont see how a 12 yr old can tell everyone what to do. maybe she just gets their attn more than you / your gf.
     
  11. tubachris85x

    tubachris85x New Member

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    I ALWAYS try to get her to come to my place instead of going there. I know its HSish, but I dont have my own car yet, and my parents wont put me on their insurance yet, so I have to rely on them for a ride. On my end, being able or "allowed" for her to come over is pretty much 24/7 unless something major is going on. On my GF's end, its like pulling teeth. Its either one thing or another that they are doing which makes it so much harder than to just say "yes or no."

    Example of how her sister controls her mom, really. Their friend's own a movie theatre, and they get to go for free. Their friends invited me to come. Her sister starts complaining, "I dont want him to come, I just want it to us and not him." The instant she says that, its pretty much the final say with her mom. If she wants something, you damn well are pretty sure her mom's goin to the fullest extent to make it reality.
     
  12. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    then y dont you and your girl goto a different theatre that you pay for, or u just goto a diff movie at the same theatre.


    if your gf just tells the lil sis that you 2 wont be going if you cant go prob is solved

    you guys are what? like 15-16? sound really young.
     
  13. tubachris85x

    tubachris85x New Member

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    Im 19, and she's 17 turning 18 in two months...

    Thats the issue, she HAS to do what the family does, trying to seperate the family from anything is like trying to pry off a welded bar using bare hands.

    Whatever the family is doing, she's always going to be going along with them. Her mom makes her go everywhere with them.
     
  14. tubachris85x

    tubachris85x New Member

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    Sorry, this is more of a vent then anything
     
  15. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    When I was around that age I had a girl that was the same with her family. And her family was also nutjobs. I had my own place and obviously prefered her to hang out at my place then me hang out with all of them at theirs. Well because I didn't spend enough time (in her mothers opinion) with her family her mother kept nagging and nagging for months that I wasn't the right guy for her and that she should leave me and find someone who was willing to spend a rediculous amount of time with them at their house. So the relationship failed as a result. So if you care about this girl just put the face time in as needed. Sure it sucks, but the alternative is to move on and find someone who doesn't have such a demanding family life...

    Funny part was the guy she got with after me was a major drug addicted psycho - to the point that on her birthday he couldn't be found because he was off trying to kill himself :ugh: - She then mentioned near the end of their relationship how her mother kind of wished I was still around because I was at least good for her :rofl:
     
  16. tubachris85x

    tubachris85x New Member

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    Yea, her mom's been hinting for her to dump me and go out with some super white kid that goes to her school. She obviously dosnt want to, her mom especially prefers that. Pissess me off everytime she does.

    As far as my GF's view on her family, I dont know how she really feels. She tells me how she cant wait to move away for college, and get "away from the drama," but at the same time, she defends them for all the bullshit that they do in relation to me. I.E., those lectures every night she says she gets, that always happen because they cant bitch about something else.

    Ive lost total respect pretty much for her mother/sister, EXCEPT for her grandparents. None of this shit ever happens when its just me, my gf, and them. Lucky for them, they moved out of the house...
     
  17. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    Of course she defends them, my family is nuts also and members of it tend to do rediculously stupid things. I think some of them think we live in a fantasy world. However, I would and do defend them when something/someone is going against them. The only people who are entitled to say bad things about someones family are members of said family. Bad mouthing her family (don't know if you do or not) to her is going to make things worse. Just remember that. And things should get better when she gets away from them.
     
  18. tubachris85x

    tubachris85x New Member

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    I dont bad mouth them, Im just not the person who lets anyone go unchecked when it comes to disrespecting me. Im not the type of person to let something go if it really bugs or pisses me off.

    Ive been quite honest with my GF that I give up on trying to deal or "play nice" with her family. Ive tried for two years, and nothing has changed. Im just hoping I can last until she moves, that is, if her mom dosnt guilt her into making her stay..
     
  19. razi

    razi New Member

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    mom's got some issues, and the 12 yo needs to be put in her place.

    I know that's none too helpful, but well, that's what needs to happen. You need to get your own car/car insurance and take control of what you can control. Once you can make those decisions for yourself, like where to go and what to do, you can assert authority and reign in the situation some. get a job, pay for outings. take the girl and the sister out, and don't let the youngin boss you around or be snippy. If you're going to be a part of that family, it'll be up to you to provide some stability, because there is none in the house now and it's detrimental to everyone involved.

    I get the feeling that the gf's dad is not in the picture anymore?
     
    Last edited: Dec 18, 2007
  20. Jack Horner

    Jack Horner Guest

    Nothing wrong with that, mang.

    :mamoru:
     
  21. razi

    razi New Member

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    her mother isn't a pacifist, her mother is passive. there's a distinct difference.
     
  22. tubachris85x

    tubachris85x New Member

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    Her father is a verbally abusive drunk. Not so much a father, more of someone leaching off of the rest of the family.
     
  23. DarkAngel19

    DarkAngel19 New Member

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    I realize you're just venting, but there is nothing in this situation that you can change except yourself and your actions. It's not your job to change the family, nor will it be well received if you try.

    My advice is to hang out with your girlfriend on your own as much as possible and start passing on hanging out with her family. If that means you can't see her as much, then maybe try that out for a while, she might realize how much you mean to her and start prioritizing you instead of her family. If not, then you might have to just endure it if you really want to stay with this girl, or see other people (after talking to her) and realize that there are better packages out there.

    That being said, my ex's family was literally the worst EVER, he was the diamond in the rough, and it was a huge deciding factor in my choice to stay with him or walk. And if my SO hated my family we would break up, so family is either really important to a person or they don't care... and this girl is the former. Just remember that.

    DA
     
  24. tubachris85x

    tubachris85x New Member

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    I meant, that she dosnt dicipline the younger one in anyway, and just lets her do whatever she wants. It affect my gf, because her mom makes her stay up and do her sister's homework or last minute projects because "she's too tired and needs to sleep, and cant do her own work"
     
  25. tubachris85x

    tubachris85x New Member

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    Yea, i know, I have been suckin it up for a long time. Im not trying to change anyone in the family. Ive only really made an impact on my gf's views only because before me, she was extremly sheltered and believed these old-school nonsense ways of life. Ive shown her how much better life is without that shit.

    Trust me, im trying to avoid the family at all costs, just because everytime im with them, there's always something to argue about, always something to blame something on someone. They are never simple and just normal, its like they'll all die if theres nothing remotely retarded to fight about amongst themselves
     

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