Dealing with ex's?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by knucks, Jul 9, 2008.

  1. knucks

    knucks Active Member

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    So some of you know that I broke up with my girlfriend a bit more than a month ago. Well, in a drunken state I sent her an email saying that I'd like to get together with her and see how things are, chat before she leaves for Florida.

    This is the email I received in reply:
    "I have to wonder why it is you decided to contact me. It's been almost a month since the end of our relationship and now, you decide to try and speak to me...I wonder whether you really want to make amends or relieve your conscience of its guilty deeds. The fact that you told me about the girl in Canada was selfish and purely for self redemption. To be honest, I have made peace with everything and feel closure in the way things ended over the phone. There is no animosity or bad blood.
    The only question I have is what you want from me?"



    So I replied to it, and I guess she got the wrong impression:
    "So basically you want to meet to tell me all the other reasons, besides the girl in Canada, you wanted to break up with me? No thanks, that doesn't sound like fun."

    She asks what I want from her, I told her that I'd like her friendship back.
    So I am waiting on a reply from her regarding that.

    I'm rather indifferent about the situation, I have no problem replying back to her and telling her to enjoy her life and never hearing from me again
     
  2. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :uh:

    Stop being an idiot. You hurt her badly and she was well on her way to making her own peace with what you did and with you in general. Now you want to fuck it all up by seeing her so you can have closure or something? No, it doesn't work that way.

    When we tell people in here to not contact their ex's or respond to their ex's after a breakup it's for a reason. Just because you feel you should say goodbye to her doesn't mean you actually should. Don't be dumb, you know you two can't be friends yet, it's only been a month for fuck's sake and you cheated on her. No matter how shitty you say your relationship was before you kissed another woman she still only think about the fact that you were so careless about her feelings that you gladly made out with another woman.

    If you were a good person you'd email her back an apology and to good luck in FL and never speak to her again. Let her contact you when she's ready to be "friends" :rolleyes: Move on with your own life.
     
  3. knucks

    knucks Active Member

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    That's basically the conclusion I came to in the past 2hrs..
    I'll wait for her reply and do what you suggest.
     
  4. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

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    no need to wait for a reply, just tell her now
     
  5. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    So...you give us this excuse of sending her the email when you were drunk...but tell us, why did you really send it?

    You miss her? Want an easy lay? What?

    Being drunk doesn't make you do things you absolutely don't want to do.

    Finally, you could have always let her reply go, and not continued the conversation since the initial email was a "drunk" thing.
     
  6. knucks

    knucks Active Member

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    Nope, don't want an easy lay. I've got that covered right now.

    Just want to be friends, nothing more.

    I mean she wished me a happy birthday the past month, I was surprised that she did. She confuses me.
     
  7. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

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    its too early to be friends, if thats truly what you want to do. most of the time, being friends with an ex is a bad idea
     
  8. HuskiRuski

    HuskiRuski Cardinal Fan

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    translation : you want the ego boost of having her around, knowing that she wants you more than you want her.

    way to go. you're playing games that women play. nice.
     
  9. knucks

    knucks Active Member

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    :rofl:



    yeah.
     
  10. HuskiRuski

    HuskiRuski Cardinal Fan

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    :hahano:
     
  11. knucks

    knucks Active Member

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    Well I don't want to play any games, although I'm sure that is how she is taking this.

    I don't know what she, or in general, is meant by "closure." Fill me in?
     
  12. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    You are playing games. You are contacting her after you know you hurt her just in hopes she'll still seem into you and feed your ego. You can't be ignorant enough to really think two could be "friends," especially when she's moving away :rolleyes: Now you are confused and shocked that she instead is annoyed you were contacting her.

    She is getting "closure" on her own terms. She already knows you cheated on her. A lot of times when couples break up some people need some type of "closure," which could be a guy needing to know exactly what changed in a girls mind to dump him or a girl needing to know exactly what her guy did at that party. In your case your ex already knows what you did and she's disgusted. Anything other than "I'm deeply sorry" from you won't change or help what happened so her closure most likely just consists of her just not speaking to you ever again and forgetting what happened.

    You trying to say hi out of nowhere is a wrench in her plans. Like we said before, just say goodbye to her, good luck, etc. and let her go.
     
  13. HuskiRuski

    HuskiRuski Cardinal Fan

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    it means she doesn't want to see you.
     
  14. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

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    just leave her alone. you cheated, its over. i cant imagine her even wanting to be very casual friends with you because of that single action.

    its bad enough that you cheated, but now you are just being an ass by showing up in her life again
     
  15. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    Here's the rough explanation. She is being a decent person...you cheated on her, broke up, so she is moving on, and wants nothing to do with you.

    You contact her...saying you want to be friends. She thinks, 'WTF, why is this cheating loser talking to me? I don't want anything to do with him...he must still want to fuck me. Too bad, that's not gonna happen, I don't accept people who cheat on me".

    What she means by getting closure is eliminating people from her life who she has no need for. You cheated on her, she made a decision that she doesn't need a person like that in her life...and then you contact her.

    She wants you to leave her alone, she is going to have nothing to do with her.

    My guess, is like someone else said, you want to try to stay friends with her so you can be told that she misses you, or that you are doing better than her after the break up...

    Fuck that. No one needs to waste their time on a person just for that.

    You cheated on her, you lost her friendship, and she's not gonna give it back to you.

    She's doing the right thing.
     
  16. knucks

    knucks Active Member

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    I've never had a girl tell me she needs to/has gotten closure, so thanks for the explanation.

    And yeah, I did want to tell her that I was deeply sorry for how it all happened. I guess I'm just not in her shoes so I truly don't understand.

    I'll send her a sorry and be done with it.
     

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