SRS dealing with death and sickness

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by desichic123, Sep 20, 2005.

  1. desichic123

    desichic123 New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2004
    Messages:
    153
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    GA
    my boyfriends mother was just placed in the hospital a few hours ago for TB complications (i think)..the few sites ive visited says TB can be fatal, but its rare i think. anyway, he finally went home tonite after not seeing or speaking to his mother since April because of a huge falling out. his dad died about a year and a half ago..2 days before Christmas because of complications with pneumonia. i feel so lost right now, because him and i dealt with his dads death the first time which hit him so hard..at the time, we had just started dating and he was reluctant to talk about it but eventually did..but now with his mother in the hospital, hes alot more reserved about talking about his feelings or anything. im so scared for his mom and if anything happened how it would affect him. i just want him to open up about it or say something..his dads death left him so messed up, im scared to think of what anything else could do.

    sorry about how much this rambles..i just wanted to get this all out
     
  2. marauder

    marauder New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 1, 2005
    Messages:
    2,144
    Likes Received:
    0
    No problem.

    I guess just be supportive and don’t push him to talk about it. But I’m not really the one you want to talk to I deal with these situations and accept them to well I think I may come off as cold :noes:
     
  3. Tenma

    Tenma Hell, you can even call me the Flame Alchemist. Wh

    Joined:
    May 6, 2002
    Messages:
    6,242
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Arlington, VA
    Let him come to you with it. Things will bear down on him so much to the point where he'll just break, and you'll need to be there for him. That happened to me, and I tried to keep so much stress in, and one night after a concert, I just broke down during the drive home. My girlfriend was there for me, but she didn't push me; she just let me cry uncontrollably about it until I couldn't anymore. Sometimes you just have to be a patient shoulder for someone's tears.
     
  4. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2002
    Messages:
    10,498
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    You can be there for him, that's all you can do along with some comforting words. I would like to talk about your feelings. You must have felt this uneasy sence of gloom over your relationship. My advice is to hang on to this relationship even tho its a hard time ahead for both of you, its a matter of having a long breathe. You shouldn't be afraid to live and love, but sometime it has to pass for a while for more urgent things, in a lifetime things like this happen which is more then most unfortunate, i say that if you be there for him both of you will end up being stronger individuals if both of you manage to get thru this, he will probably need you more then ever after this. But do be aware that peroids of frustration,maby anger that can even be directed at you which you have to accept as a expression of grieve that he maby not knows how to deal with. I know you already have experienced him during the first time, i say you brace for it to happen a second time :sad2: Nothing you can do about it. Just show all the love,understanding and support you possibly and humanly can give.
     
  5. BlondieAMC

    BlondieAMC New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 18, 2004
    Messages:
    576
    Likes Received:
    0
    Having been thru all this myself...I would definetly agree with this advice.
    My mom passed away a yr into my relationship and it was hard on my GF. I can only imagine what i put her thru while i was "dealing" with it. Best of luck to you but just be there when he needs you. Even if you just hold his hand or let him cry or scream or whatever it is. and try not to take things to personal cause i know i was irrational at times and would blow up and have to go back and say 'sorry' when i came to my senses.
    Wishing his mom all the best for a quick recovery.:)
     
  6. MapleLeaf

    MapleLeaf New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 19, 2004
    Messages:
    1,466
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    West Hollywood, CA 90069
    Just being with someone and them realising that they are not alone, is often enough comfort to those grieving or bereaved. No-one will talk until they are ready, so forcing the issue rarely helps.
     

Share This Page