SRS dealing with anxiety and fear of failure

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by up|dn, Aug 28, 2007.

  1. up|dn

    up|dn ಠ_ಠ

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    Ugh, figured this might be a good place to get things off my chest.

    I'm about a week and a bit into a new job. It's got quite a learning curve and I'm feeling overwhelmed. Since I already have issues with anxiety and depression (not on medication, but I know my limitations), I am feeling really stressed. I keep thinking I'll never learn it all, I think I might have made a mistake quitting my old job and taking on this new challenge. I keep thinking: 'I'm going to fail, I'm going to fail'. I realize these are probably irrational fears, but it doesn't seem to change the feeling that my chest is going to implode.

    I hate that feeling that I can't breathe, and I've had situations like this in the past where I just took the easy way out and quit, which really just makes the problem worse.

    Any advice besides "suck it up, girlyboy!"?
     
    Last edited: Aug 28, 2007
  2. SpectreMatrix

    SpectreMatrix New Member

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    All I can say man is that you will break, you will stand back up and you will be stronger for it. I know that may not mean a lot right now, but it is the simple truth.

    I have seen horrible things, been under insane stress. You will come out ok.
     
  3. Wilddog

    Wilddog OT Supporter

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    "From Panic to Power"
    By: Lucinda Basset

    This book helped me start my battle against anxiety and depression. Read it. You will learn that your train of thought is ultimately your downfall, and it must be reversed. You have to learn to be compassionate with yourself and realize that you are NOT your enemy, but rather, You are your 'safe place'.
     
  4. MudRacer4x4

    MudRacer4x4 New Member

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    i know the feeling. i wont even take a new job or go back to school because i'm afraid of failing. but i guess my fear is rational because i have failed in the past.
     
  5. Got Me SOM

    Got Me SOM I'd win

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    Don't let your emotions override your logic. Everyone goes thru this, just take a breath and say to yourself you can do this. You got hired there for a reason, they see they you as competent, so you need to see and feel that you are competent as well.
     
  6. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    Yeah...suck it up girlyboy! :) j/k

    Seriously tho, I can relate. I'm just starting out on my new career and I'm about twice as old as my co-workers.....at least most of them. I was worried about not being able to perform but here's what I do, I make a plan. I can't learn everything overnight but I can make steady progress on learning the important things every day.

    If I have multiple, difficult things to learn....I break up my training. Spend an hour or two on one thing then move to the next then the next, etc... If it's only one or two things....I may push it to 3 hours. Or say the morning is X afternoon is Y. This way I'm making steady progress on all the things I need to learn.

    Also, you kind of sound like me in a way.....that if you aren't the best at something then you are automatically, by default, the worst! Guess what....in reality, you're neither the best nor the worst....you're somewhere in between even when you are really well trained.

    So give yourself a break, make a plan, allocate your time, commit to making steady progress every day and try to enjoy your new job a little. It also might be beneficial to keep a log of your daily activities and your feelings each day. That way...when you don't think you are making progress, you can look back at last months challenges and realize that you are in fact, progressing.

    The absolute last thing you should ever think about is quitting. Once you establish that pattern in your life, you will begin to quit anytime something is difficult. However, anything worth having it difficult to get so learn to push through your fears and lack of knowledge instead of running from them. The confidence you will gain from this will help you for the rest of your life.....and it will apply to many areas that you never thought it would. Seriously....don't quit unless it's as the very last resort.
     
  7. up|dn

    up|dn ಠ_ಠ

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    Thanks for the replies.

    The worst thing about anxiety is that it can be so debilitating even though I know they're irrational feelings. I'm trying to tell myself that the worst that could possibly happen is that it doesn't work out and they need to get rid of me. That shouldn't happen, but even the worst case scenario isn't the end of the world. I'm just trying to relax about the whole thing, I guess.

    I think the biggest problem with this job is the lack of proper training. It's a new and very rapidly growing company and everyone is basically new. I'm usually organized and methodical, but since nothing is on schedule at this new company, everything is reactive (and stressful) rather than pro-active and it's almost impossible for me to get into any kind of routine.
     
  8. bacdo

    bacdo New Member

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    It is going to take time to get past the mental place that you are in. Like a few people have already said, it's all in your head - and thinking about the problem (anxiety) usually only makes it worse than it really is. Every time you start getting anxiety about something, try to stop thinking about it, and do something else positive. Good luck, I wish that I had more to add.
     
  9. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    Been there...done that and learned to thrive in it.

    When I started my last job, my bosses training was, "There are the files, dive in." :) I didn't have a clue what to do or what NOT to do. So I learned by doing and fucking up and having to fix my messes. You know what....that was such valuable experience that I wouldn't trade it for the world. I learned that even when I do really stupid things, if I'm honest and admit my mistake and then work to correct it, people are very forgiving and will help me correct my mistakes. I saw people get fired for trying to defend a mistake, try to associate blame to someone else and not change their behavior. I was different and learned some really valuable lessons.

    I also got a TON of confidence in myself.....like you wouldn't believe how much. I remember walking down the hall one day and realize that I finally wasn't scared to go into work. I knew that no matter what happened that day, I could fix it or find someone who could fix it or help me fix it. That was a really great day indeed.
     
  10. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    Do not let your actions speak of irrational and absurd fear, what is needed in life is not fear, nothing can grow from that. Cast off your fear! Look forward! Go forward! Never stand still. Retreat and you will age. Hesitate and you will die.There is no failure except in no longer trying.There is no honour in giving up. There is no defeat except from within, no really insurmountable barrier save our inherent weakness of purpose.


    There are only three directions in life, down where death lies, stay where you are and go in circles, or up where an improved life lies ahead, the first 2 are worthless and lead to nowhere, this is important because it means you can set the course of your life, to the only direction that is valuable ,namely upwards towards into progress. It doesn't matter from there on wether you win or lose in life, you simply keep on following the positive course, that way you can ALWAYS be confident no matter what happens, because you know that going for gold in your life is the only right way to live.

    Remember No guts No glory. I think its a good decision that you tried to improve your life, i always say stick your hands in the fire for what you stand for, i don't care wether i succeed or fail , i will do what i can do or die trying while im at it. A Nothing can stop me, attitude.
     
  11. Man Bear Pig

    Man Bear Pig Banned

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    I wish I could get stressed about those kind of things, I would gladly trade anxiety with you, you can have my relationship anxiety crap and I'll take your job problems, what you say?
     
  12. up|dn

    up|dn ಠ_ಠ

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    It almost sounds worth it. ;)

    It's actually getting better, so as long as they take it easy on me I can handle the stress.

    The whole problem with anxiety is worrying about the future, and that's the part that's killing me. I know that we as humans are terrible predicters of the future, since we tend to use our current experiences by which to judge what's ahead, but even knowing this doesn't really help the fact that I'm stressing and feeling like I'll never catch on (irrational, I know). I'm pretty sure I have at least some form of an anxiety disorder, and in the past I've always quit things when the going got rough because I just couldn't see how the future could possibly justify suffering in the present (I dropped out of college twice because I couldn't possibly understand why all that crap would be worth it in the end).

    Anyway, it just goes to show that even if you understand what's going on it doesn't necessarily change the way the brain misfires. It just helps to share and offload once in a while, even if it doesn't seem like a huge deal to others.

    Thanks OT. :hsd:
     

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