SRS Dealing or Coping with Breakup Correctly?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by AmCo, Oct 3, 2005.

  1. AmCo

    AmCo Haters goin' Hate

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    Are there any ways to cope or dealing with a breakup correctly? The reason I ask is from time to I get extremely down or sad when I think back to it. What I don't want is everything seems fine but then *bam* out of no where im hit with it. The setbacks can last up to a few weeks. But I don't let it stop me because i have to school and work. It's been around five months and I just want make sure I'm going about this in the right way.
     
  2. bandwagon

    bandwagon Copy/Paste

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    I assume 'the setbacks' come when you are reminded of her. Get rid of all the dumb reminders.

    Your brain works by creating/strengthening pathways that connect different areas together. So, if you have a link between 'anxiety' and 'X-GF', you will feel anxious whenever you think of her. Consciously tell yourself not to become anxious when you think of her, and eventually your brain will reprogram itself.

    It may be hard to believe, but we can learn to control our emotions.
     
  3. johan

    johan Active Member

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    1. reduce and finally eliminate reminders
    2. reduce and finally eliminate contact
    3. supercharge your life, (add friends, add social contact, do FUN things)

    Steps 1 and 2 remove negativity
    Step 3 adds positivity.

    You must have all three components, most people leave out step 3 and then get depressed.
     
  4. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    I like this!
     
  5. slims

    slims New Member

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    I can testify to this. I whiped her from my life and lived on, but still felt like shit every once and a while. I started going back out with all my friends and meeting new people, now I don't even think about that triflin hoe.
     
  6. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    The only way to restore a lost love is to obtain a new love. Trying to fill the gap with some sort of substitute is more likely to bring you into positive territory then being left with a void.:hs:
     
  7. johan

    johan Active Member

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    Honestly, I don't agree with that because basically you're using relationship to fill the void in your life.

    Relationships are most healthy when you yourself are a complete, functioning, whole person.
    You become co-dependent if you feel empty, incomplete without a partner.

    Of course, everyone feels that way just after a loss or breakup. The key is to become healthy and strong first.
    Losing a partner should not be like losing your leg, where you topple over without it.
     
  8. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Well, in my opinion that is false , people start relationships because they feel incomplete, not because they are satisfied with who they are. The SO therefore has a function of being an addition to their lives. This co-dependency is natural in my view otherwhise relationships wouldn't be necessery. The balance in the relationship can make the person feel complete with the SO and incomplete without. Therefore i stick with my advice to replace a lost loved one with a worthy replacement as long as the emotional disturbance isn't caused by a exterior factor then i believe its better to give yourself time ,recover and pick up the pace of your life. Because people can get stuck in a rut ,and the emotional hurt can be worse ,and i know people who would gladly lose their leg to get back to their loved ones. Therefore this loss of dependency in my opinion can only be healed by placing a substitute partner in their lives.
     
  9. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    johan, you are starting to become one of my favorite posters.:bigthumb:
     

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