SRS Dating, when is it acceptable after a divorce?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by teh_fuzz, Jun 14, 2008.

  1. teh_fuzz

    teh_fuzz New Member

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    My current situation is leading me to believe that a divorce is quite clearly in my future, the wife and I are separating, and from her actions it doesnt seem like this will ever be the same or work out between us.

    I have been feeling down and bummed, this is the woman I thought I would be with for the rest of my life, and well naturally, having to fucking move out on fathers day isnt the best thing to help this.

    I have been thinking about this over the past month, this has been going on for 2 months now, and honestly I feel like I need someone to distract me from her, I mean I love her, but why waste my time and effort of she is not into this like I am? Why beat myself and put myself in a loosing situation over this?... so Ive been thinking that I may just give it a shot at dating other people.

    not getting into a relationship, god knows right now I dont need that but basically finding someone to spark some kind of interest and distract me so that when I am alone, I dont feel like complete utter shit. i have friends of course but they are busy and caught up i their lives, my closest friend is also going through the same shit I am, and honestly I would be ideal to spend more time with her as we kind of feed off each other, but she is still trying to work her marriage out and basically, she doesnt need another worry.

    So, when is is socially or widely acceptable to start dating after a separation? should I wait until the divorce? she has made it clear that this is what she wants... and while I dont want it to happen, she is asking for it, so I am thinking i honestly need to move the hell on. (however hard it may be)
     
  2. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    You don't have to wait for the paper because she already divorced with you in her heart,afteral what is the use to keep on beating a dead horse so to speak? And in terms of timing , the best time to start dating is when you are ready for it.

    Just do it, your life goes on and so does her, she's filing for a divorce so wether she cares or not on wether you date other people isn't her concern anymore, if she complains tell her that she's the one who wanted a divorce not you, you can't put your life on a halt for her.

    You know it sucks because you still love her, but again your life goes on, and its perfectly ok for you to keep on loving her, but in the realization that your relationship has come to a dead end road. The only thing you can do is turn around your car,continue to drive and head back to the highway of life.
     
  3. teh_fuzz

    teh_fuzz New Member

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    Thanks, the problem i see with doing that is that its been so freaking long for me since I have even wondered about dating anyone... much less looked for anyone.

    I guess you can say that my game has gone down in quality due to the lack of practice lol

    I wonder if all that I need is just a distraction? I know I am a good catch lol so I guess that should be a good vote of confidence but shit man... everything I worked for over the last 7 years is gone to shit. honestly I dunno if i can do it again.

    hell where to even start? I hate myspace for one lol...
     
  4. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    dude, give yourself some time, 2 months after the divorce or whenever your ready for it, you don't have to dive into a new relationship so early, you can give yourself some slack space before you start thinking about these things, meanwhile go join a baseball team, bowling or play golf to let off some stress and steam.
     
  5. teh_fuzz

    teh_fuzz New Member

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    I am trying but my work schedule is only Thurs-Saturday and every other Sunday so I have a LOT of down time.

    Im joining a gym this week... and maybe even go jog around rice university for some stress relief.
     
  6. RedZ71

    RedZ71 Large Marge sent me.

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    fuzZ, there are several of us going thru the same thing right now, were here for ya. dont be afraid to start some threads and talk about how you feel a little bit. i know it all anonymous stuff and the hug icons arent the same as a real friend hugging you, but in here, you can pretty much trust the encouraging words your asylum friends will give you. (they all made a huge difference for me)

    chin up, keep marching, eventually youll get back to "fine".
     
  7. BadKat

    BadKat GIVE ME WINE!!

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    :werd:

    Whenever you feel ready is when you should start dating. Don't push it. I know you probably have a ton of people saying "get out there!" and some saying "You should wait a while". Neither of them are wrong, the issue is, what feels right to you?
     
  8. teh_fuzz

    teh_fuzz New Member

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    Thanks all!

    Well, i did get entirely shitfaced last friday night, I went out with some old friends and got to see a few that I had not seen in YEARS! It was a nice break, it was entertaining, and most of all it was a great release. But the thing that sucked is that at the end of the night I still came home to my empty ass apartment. lol

    I did have a real good chat with one of my best friends, shes going through the same shit I am and we are close, so wee kind of understand each other. thing is we both told each other when we got married that it our respective partners to be were not right for each other... and now we both regret not listenting to one another.
     

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