SRS Dating someone from work

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Riconosuave, Aug 7, 2008.

  1. Riconosuave

    Riconosuave New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 12, 2004
    Messages:
    1,108
    Likes Received:
    0
    I was always of the opinion that one should not date someone from work. If things go south, work can become a very unbearable place to be. But now, I'm not so sure. I think I may be getting myself into a situation at work. Started talking to a girl 1.5 months ago. Hung out a few times. Went out to eat, played some sports together, etc. Then we went on a business trip for a week, and we spent time together every night. She's also helped me out a lot in this country. I'd be fucked if she hadn't helped me out on a few things. She's also cooked for me at my place and spent the night. Keep in mind that nothing has happened between us so far. I haven't even tried to kiss her yet. We just enjoy spending time together. This week we've hung out just about everyday, and we're going out drinking with some friends this weekend. Already planned that I would stay over at her place. I may have to break my rule about dating someone from work, but I'm still very hesitant to do so. Work is great, and I don't want to do anything to mess it up. I'm also not completely sure if she's interested, because she's a very nice person. Any stories about dating someone from work?
     
  2. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2006
    Messages:
    32,592
    Likes Received:
    5
    Search for the word "work" in the title in here and the Vaginairum. You'll be shocked how many times this thread has been made and also shocked at how many (most to all) fail. Then again, many relationships fail. The difference is how much more uncomfortable it becomes when you have to see that person and act professionally every day.

    They can work, technically anything can work. However, they usually work when you don't work directly with one another. You can be in the same building , but when you work with one another often it gets old. Or, if you had been dating this person for a while and then she got a job at your business....but that's not the case.

    Anyway, if I were you I wouldn't jump into anything. If you actually want to have a relationship with this woman you both need to talk about it first. Sure, it might not be as romantic but I find it would be far worse if you jumped into the physical only to realize in 3 weeks you really don't like her that much, break up with her and then face hell while seeing her at work every day. You guys need to lay out what you are looking for and how this could afect you at work. Set some boundaries, etc.
     
  3. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 30, 2003
    Messages:
    4,729
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Twin Cities, MN
    How much do you see this person at work? How closely do you both work together?
     
  4. eXyle

    eXyle ׂ

    Joined:
    Apr 6, 2003
    Messages:
    2,774
    Likes Received:
    0
    i don't recommend it, but i'm not against it either. a lot of relationships start at work. school/work is one of the places people spend most of their time, so it's understandable why it happens. like any relationship, sometimes it works out and sometimes it doesn't. i've had somewhat successful and not so successful relationships that started at work. while i do my best to avoid dating someone from work, i'd be foolish to turn down a great girl just because i work with her.

    i believe it's better to date someone you don't directly work with. if she's in a different department or there's not much interaction between you two during the workday, i feel it's best. remember, too much of a good thing isn't always best. if you see her all day at work, then at night, it may lead to boredom or issues down the road.

    personally, i enjoy some time apart from the girls i'm dating, so if i see her at work, that kinda throws a wrench into the whole thing. that's my main issue when it comes to dating in the workplace. i don't concern myself with the potential awkwardness if we break up because i can only control how i behave. breaking up with someone is not that big of a deal to me, as such, i can remain cordial and professional towards her at work. if she can't do the same, there's nothing i can do about it, so long as i don't cross the line, then i'm fine.

    therefore, if you feel you can still work with her if things don't work out and you won't let your relationship interfere with your work, then give it a shot. however, if you're unsure about either of those two, it's best if you hold off or forget about it altogether.
     
  5. Ideotique

    Ideotique Drinking on monday nights does not make me an alco

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2004
    Messages:
    11,333
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Awestralia
    If it happens it happens. Had one, (more of a one night stand, but still) and it was a bit awkward afterwards, but we were both grown up about it and just moved on

    Seen others go sour very quickly, with one person leaving the company.

    The big issue to be me would be seeing them all the time. I need space in the early stages of the relationship
     
  6. Riconosuave

    Riconosuave New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 12, 2004
    Messages:
    1,108
    Likes Received:
    0
    I see her a few times a day. Her office is close to mine. We've spent a lot of time together the past few weeks, and everything has still been cool at work. We've pretty much been hanging out every single day. Can't believe she's not sick of me yet, haha. Trying to keep it low profile at work. Don't want coworkers to know about it, or else they'll be all in our business. It's starting to get a bit more serious now, and she stayed over again the other night. I didn't expect to meet someone so soon, but I'm going to go with the flow for the time being.
     
  7. BlaXicaN

    BlaXicaN OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 20, 2003
    Messages:
    28,414
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    San Antonio
    I dont suggest it. It never worked for me... well it only took me once to realize that. And it wasn't even a relationship we were in. but um yeah, gladly I am well hidden from the majority of the women there. It's sometimes tempting but not worth it.
     
  8. TuopaT2008

    TuopaT2008 New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 30, 2008
    Messages:
    350
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Nevada
    Get out!
    Get out!
    Get out!

    Workplace romances are doomed. Don't do it, man!
     
  9. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 6, 2006
    Messages:
    32,407
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    OKC
    My sister met her first husband at work and they were married 20 years before divorcing. However, when thing got heated between them, one of them had to leave...it was my sis.

    There are plenty of people that have met this way and there's absolutely nothing wrong with it. If you're just in it to get laid, you'll probably have a difficult time at work if things go south. However, if you really like her and want to date her, go for it. Just realize that it might make work very difficult.

    Hell the company I work for has 7,000 employees. My department has 400 employees alone and let me tell you, I'd date someone even in my own department.

    You only live once and you might be passing up a really great woman.
     
  10. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

    Joined:
    Mar 31, 2005
    Messages:
    97,795
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Calgary, AB
    if it will be possible to work without much issue should you two break up badly, then go for it. Otherwise, it might be worth thinking twice. If you think she's worth the risk, however, go for it
     
  11. Ford4Life

    Ford4Life Guest

    My parents met at work and were married for 25 years before my father passed away. Most working people don't go out and bar hop or party that much, so the places they can meet new people is pretty limited. It can work, if you both are mature enough for it. If you interact a lot in a professional capacity (or one of you reports to the other), I probably wouldn't do it. If you just work for the same company, then it's not a huge road block.
     
  12. mrflicharger

    mrflicharger Put your lips on it

    Joined:
    Aug 13, 2008
    Messages:
    346
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Minneapolis, MN
    Been there. Done that. It is a recipe for disaster. If it goes sour, it makes for an intense work environment you just don't want.
     
  13. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

    Joined:
    May 29, 2000
    Messages:
    49,189
    Likes Received:
    6
    Location:
    San Diego, CA
    What do you mean that it's getting more serious? Has she ever said anything about liking you as more than a friend? Because staying at someone's house if you aren't even kissing them doesn't mean anything. That's what friends do.
     
  14. johan

    johan Active Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2003
    Messages:
    5,123
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Sahasrara; magnetic violet infinite
    What type of work is this? Is this a career position, or just a casual job?

    Many people do meet their spouses at work; we spend a significant portion of our lives there, and for many of us, it is where we have the chance to become something more than our everyday selves.

    I wouldn't say its automatically off-liimits, especially if its a large organization, and the two of you have little or no contact, and there is no reporting relationship involved.
     
  15. coldstone

    coldstone New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 10, 2008
    Messages:
    12,298
    Likes Received:
    0
    Pen. Company ink.

    Don't dip.
     

Share This Page