dating ex's friends?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by giz, Apr 30, 2009.

  1. giz

    giz Active Member

    Joined:
    Nov 25, 2004
    Messages:
    15,634
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    salt lake
    any thoughts on this?

    most of the regulars know the story behind my ex and how I've had a difficult time getting over her. I can assure you, I'm done with that.

    while we were together, I made it a point to get to know all of her friends. we never really did anything together (ex, me, and her friends)... I just went out of my way to get to know them. we've been broken up for a few months and I still talk to quite a few of them often (at least one on a near-daily basis :rofl:).

    well, the past couple days one the girls has shown a lot of interest and I'm not sure what to do. I don't know her all that well and I really would like to get to know more about her. Honestly I may have pursued this earlier but I thought she was in a relationship lol. My friends bday is saturday and a big group of us are meeting for dinner... I'm thinking about inviting her.

    Regardless of what you guys say, I probably will. But I'm interesting in your opinions if I'm headed down a bad road with this or should it not make a difference?
     
  2. tb2883

    tb2883 New Member

    Joined:
    May 9, 2006
    Messages:
    449
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    In a shack down the street
    I would say if you continue with the new girl i would be vary careful.
    Since the new girl is a friend of your ex i would ask her or go with her to talk with your ex to make sure she wouldn't be upset about the idea of you and her friend.

    Is it me or does this sound like something from a 'Friend's episode or a chick flick.
     
  3. giz

    giz Active Member

    Joined:
    Nov 25, 2004
    Messages:
    15,634
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    salt lake
    :rofl: my life basically is a chick flick

    I'm not sure I'd ever bring up my ex. I've talked about her way too much for the past months and I'm just done. if the friend wants to talk to her, that is fine, but imo if my ex wants to get upset that is her own problem. :dunno:
     
  4. D7

    D7 OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2008
    Messages:
    6,484
    Likes Received:
    1
    You have your choice of women when you go out Giz. Good luck with whatever you decide :)
     
  5. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2002
    Messages:
    14,236
    Likes Received:
    10
    Location:
    NYC
    sorry if this has been said, but the circumstances of the break up are pertinent. Did she do anything terrible?

    No matter what you say or do she is going to take this as a personal "fuck you". if you are prepared to make that statement, then by all means, have at it.
     
  6. Dahlia

    Dahlia Active Member

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2008
    Messages:
    27,527
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Lexington, KY
    Why does he have to put his life in his ex's hands? He owe's her nothing and who gives a fuck if she cares, they broke up, she has no say in his life anymore. It isn't like its the "bro code" or whatever where you ask your friend if you can date their ex.

    I say go for it, it's not like you have a friend to lose over this.
     
  7. giz

    giz Active Member

    Joined:
    Nov 25, 2004
    Messages:
    15,634
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    salt lake
    Nah, she didn't do anything terrible. Kinda out of the blue she decided we were done. We have been on good terms since. I took her to a britney spears concert a few weeks ago.

    However, since the concert she basically has ignored me. I saw her the next day and she barely acknowledged my existence. Last week I found out one of her favorite performers was coming to town, I let her know but got no response (though I didn't expect one). Yesterday was my Design Day at school... she had said she wanted to come so I reminded her... no response and didn't show.

    I deserve better than that. So if she wants to take it as a "fuck you," that is her choice. I don't mean it like that in any way though.
     
  8. giz

    giz Active Member

    Joined:
    Nov 25, 2004
    Messages:
    15,634
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    salt lake
    I think this may have been why I've been reluctant to pursue any of her friends. Up until recently, I've felt like we've been on good terms so there was something to lose. Now that she is treating me like this, I have no problem doing what I want.
     
  9. Dahlia

    Dahlia Active Member

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2008
    Messages:
    27,527
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Lexington, KY
    Yea, but you have to realize that even if you were on good terms, more than likely you will drift apart, you will never become good enough friends for it to really matter. I've keep good relations with ex's before, but in all honesty they aren't even that great of friends.
     
  10. giz

    giz Active Member

    Joined:
    Nov 25, 2004
    Messages:
    15,634
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    salt lake
    Well to be honest, I was hanging on to some tiny glimmer of hope that we'd eventually get back together. That is no longer the case.
     
  11. 04JETTA

    04JETTA OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2007
    Messages:
    10,437
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    The Prarie State/The Hoosier State
    I personally don't so if she takes it the wrong way just explain to her that you didn't meant it that way if she doens't believe you oh well her loss
     
  12. LudaMan

    LudaMan Active Member

    Joined:
    Sep 29, 2004
    Messages:
    1,490
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    West Des Moines, IA
    Well, based on what you said, your intention isn't to piss off your ex, but to get to know this other girl more. I'm going to assume this friend of hers also just wants the same, so I see no problem with it.
     
  13. Reign

    Reign Banned

    Joined:
    Nov 17, 2003
    Messages:
    21,304
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Westminster, CO
    If she has no problem with it then why not? It's your happiness, not your Ex's. The only complication I could see is your Ex and who you're after getting into a friendship conflict but that's not really your problem either.

    Go for it.
     
  14. Bob Brown

    Bob Brown bewshit, bewshit, bewshit

    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2007
    Messages:
    3,909
    Likes Received:
    0
    Giz,

    Do it.

    Yours truly,
    -non gay fanclub.
     
  15. giz

    giz Active Member

    Joined:
    Nov 25, 2004
    Messages:
    15,634
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    salt lake
    :bowrofl:
     
  16. eXyle

    eXyle ׂ

    Joined:
    Apr 6, 2003
    Messages:
    2,774
    Likes Received:
    0
    if you don't mind crossing paths with your ex, sure, go for it.

    just refrain from bad-mouthing your ex in front of this girl.
     
  17. giz

    giz Active Member

    Joined:
    Nov 25, 2004
    Messages:
    15,634
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    salt lake
    If we crossed paths, I'm not sure what would happen. She'd probably just ignore me like she did a couple weeks ago when her friends invited me to a concert with them.

    I've never bad-mouthed her, ever. I've been vocal about my disapproval of some of her recent behavior, but that's about as close as it gets.
     
  18. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 22, 2005
    Messages:
    20,480
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Houston, TX
    if its a female ex, i would have no remorse from dating one of her friends... just make sure it doesnt get too awkward for you in social settings :p


    if its one of the bros ex's id prolly stay away
     
  19. eXyle

    eXyle ׂ

    Joined:
    Apr 6, 2003
    Messages:
    2,774
    Likes Received:
    0
    you're good to go.

    go forth and be merry!
     
  20. eXyle

    eXyle ׂ

    Joined:
    Apr 6, 2003
    Messages:
    2,774
    Likes Received:
    0
    if he's over her, it's irrelevant how she views it. however, deep down, it's a nice little bonus.
     
  21. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 22, 2005
    Messages:
    20,480
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Houston, TX

    feels good man
     
  22. giz

    giz Active Member

    Joined:
    Nov 25, 2004
    Messages:
    15,634
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    salt lake
    if I wanted to rub it into her face, I'd do it right and systematically fuck every one of her closest friends, take pictures and send them to her :rofl:
     
  23. Ideotique

    Ideotique Drinking on monday nights does not make me an alco

    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2004
    Messages:
    11,333
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Awestralia
    Sounds like you've moved on mate. Good stuff. Go and have some fun
     
  24. fray

    fray New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 19, 2006
    Messages:
    5,282
    Likes Received:
    0
    My vote is a resounding "NO", based on how difficult it was for you to move on, the potential for this to turn into a "revenge"/rebound thing, and the potential to become very awkward. I think you are generating unnecessary drama. As someone above said, you have your pick. I would pick outside the mutual pool...
     
  25. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Feb 2, 2004
    Messages:
    23,699
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    NoVA
    I would never date an ex's friend. It's just bad taste, first of all. Second, there are too many women out there to fuck with a messy situation like that.
     

Share This Page