Dating Books/Videos

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Wonderboy, Jun 10, 2008.

  1. Wonderboy

    Wonderboy New Member

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    There is so many of them, which one should i read?

    i just turned 21, and single... my last gf broke up with me at the end of last summer, so it's almost been a year, i only got laid once since she broke up with me...

    i wanna be able to pick and choose the girls i fuck, and have more of it.. and not get laid because i got lucky...
     
  2. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    Just read them all then and pick the methods that work for you.
     
  3. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Use the search function and look up "PUA" and be amazed at the slew of advice and books.
     
  4. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    double your dating
     
  5. Wonderboy

    Wonderboy New Member

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    will do once i'm back from work
     
  6. BlackIce72

    BlackIce72 New Member

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    bad idea

    :werd: good enough to get the job done
     
  7. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    You can't just say "bad idea" and not explain why you say it is a bad idea... In this case why would knowledge be a bad idea?
     
  8. BlackIce72

    BlackIce72 New Member

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    I'll speak for tens of thousands of men who have read every piece of material they can find yet wonder why they suck more than people who only read a couple e-books and maybe listened to a podcast or two.

    In this case, it's not like being a biology or chem major. Amount of time studying material does NOT correlate to competence in practicing the material.

    There are so many reasons... here are a few

    What happens when you read these books and watch the seminars, you get addicted to that good feeling of watching or hearing about awesome stories. It's a great instant gratification. It's new knowledge most men don't have, and you actually get a lot better at understanding what's going on during interactions.

    But it doesn't make YOU better necessarily!

    Reading a book on body language will give you some great tips on how to improve your own. But being an expert in body language doesn't mean that you yourself HAVE great posture or breath correctly. You just KNOW how it's done.

    What I'm saying is that practicing (approaching) is not as "easy", "safe", and "instantly gratifying" as reading about this stuff is. [guys who are good eventually discover that it actually IS all of the above, because they know what specific feedback they are looking for that they can't get in some book]

    It's easy to get addicted to reading this stuff. But the more you learn, the more you realize you don't know. And when reading field reports and such, you think there's a "hole" in your game (well no shit!) and you can't approach because it won't sound NEARLY as good as the top guys (which are the guys you are reading about!).

    Even if you find good "routines", you'll read some article about how much voice tonality, body language, and eye contact are important. So, shit, you can't go approach because you need to learn about that stuff for the routines to be effective!

    Then when you have that all down you'll read some guy who will RUIN EVERYTHING YOU'VE LEARNED and say that going indirect (opinion openers) is what pussies do and being direct (conveying interest initially) is better for success and overall fulfillment (because you're more genuine and mean what you say, with no hidden agenda).

    So then you'll try to compare/contrast indirect vs. direct as if it actually made a difference, figuring out the fool proof plan of attack.



    In ALL reality, probably 80+% of guys who initially get into this stuff will do less than 30 approaches in the first 4-6 months, and that sucks.


    Yail will probably chime in and have some good input about this, and he will agree that you could explain for HOURS and HOURS why really studying too much of this stuff will land you into keyboard jockey zone (where nobody respects you).

    Instead of getting validation from within from fulfillment of your desire, these guys get validation from giving dudes on seduction forums advice -- advice that they are rehashing from the plethora of DVDs and books they watch.


    If you read Double Your Dating (definitely the most popular first book people read) and do 100 approaches in your first month, you'll better understand where you are at and what you might want to learn more about.

    And 100 approaches is a piece of cake. Maybe a couple a day then kick it up on the weekends.

    Take my word for it. I want every guy who gets into this to do well and succeed. It's great to see guys happy and have girls get what THEY want too.

    But the amount of bullshit out there is blinding. Just go out and say "hi" to people you make eye contact with. That in and of itself is more than what 99% of people do.
     
  9. sapient

    sapient New Member

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    Check your private messages, I sent you a link to one.
     
  10. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    As far as I am concerned, there is only one dating book out there that, if you apply its principles to your life, will literally change your life from the inside out.

    Book of Pook. It's free, find it over on sosuave.com.
     
  11. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    http://www.jbspencer.com/djb/

    link is hard to find for those not familiar with sosuave
     
  12. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    Great post!

    I don't want to quote the whole thing since its long.

    I do want to echo the points he made about "its not like being a biology major" where more information is good.

    When I started out, I talked to EVERYONE I encountered in my daily life. I was striking up conversations with strangers every day.

    I wanted to get to the point where when I encountered an attractive woman in my daily life, I could speak to her in an easy-going and natural manner without being nervous.

    And it worked. Bit by bit, day by day. It doesn't happen overnight.

    I like DYD because it specifically addresses the areas where most men go wrong. The behaviors we NATURALLY engage in and why they don't work.

    And ultimately thats what its all about. Once you stop doing all the bullshit that kills her attraction, the world is a different place.

    My recommendations for the average man would be to start with DYD then move on to Without Embarrassment: The Social Cowards Totally Fearless Seduction System then GO BACK to DYD.

    Without Embarassment is like 250 pages but its really really good and focuses on you getting your head right.

    Then finish up with Book of Pook and you're done.

    There is no magic pill or shortcut. You've got to regularly get out of your comfort zone and develop these skills.
     
  13. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    I'll vouch for all three of those books that are mentioned. All fantastic and all very informative.

    And I'll also add this...

    Just recently I have discovered that I am REALLY ignorant when it comes to girls...maybe not "ignorant", but very RUSTY. Getting back out there hasn't been easy. Talking to girls and actually trying to apply some of the stuff I've learned isn't easy.

    But I am thinking about two girls at work, who are summer workers who have been flirting pretty heavily with me...and I found myself stuttering and stammering at what to say back to them...in essence, I had COMPLETELY FORGOTTEN how to fucking flirt!

    Me, who has read so much, been in so many discussions, and have practically ate, drank, and slept this shit for over a year. Me, who I feel like I understand girls so much more than I ever used to. All that knowledge...completely USELESS without action!

    I find myself getting a little better at it everyday. I find myself coming out of that dark shell I was in more and more everyday. But the point I am making is that you can study and read and learn as much as you can and still be completely IGNORANT when it comes to putting it into action.
     
  14. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    In fact, I'll also add that the moment you will TRULY turn things around in your life (in ANY area of your life really) is when you stand up and admit that you are completely ignorant and you don't know what the hell you are doing.

    It's THAT moment things will change because THAT admission OPENS YOU UP to truly learn and experience and live.

    You are not some don juan. You are no some god. You are a man and that's all you can fucking be. So go be a man, go live your life, go talk to these girls, and go face your fears. It really is as simple as that. Once you do that, all that other stuff will be added unto you.
     
  15. jonno

    jonno New Member

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    :werd: just the basics from this book have helped me a ton
     
  16. Needmorefunds007

    Needmorefunds007 Where do we go from herE?

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    anyone have a e-book link for double your dating?
     
  17. fluentinsilence

    fluentinsilence New Member

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    I find experience works better than reading up on material regarding human interaction.
     
  18. sapient

    sapient New Member

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    ... My god, the Book of Pook is great so far. Thanks for recommending it.
     
  19. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    Glad you like it.

    It changed my life last year (and my whole perspective on life) when I was at the lowest point I've ever been.

    I don't agree with EVERYTHING he writes, but it's so damned inspiring and fresh and spot on. I've even showed it to girls and they agree.
     
  20. ilduce

    ilduce New Member

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    Can you pick DYD up at a book store or is it just en e-book?
     
  21. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    It's funny because I have limited experience with actually using PUA material. But I just finished watching the RSD DVD's and it's pretty good. I learned everything I could from Speed Seduction and then got approached and was comfortable being myself. That was a mistake. As Tyler of RSD will tell you, you need to keep your game fresh and that includes gaming your girlfriend a bit.

    After the breakup, I found salvation through a myspace group for a local bar. This is when I read Juggler and the book of Pook but I met a lot of people just being myself. I found that being talkative was the most important thing and I talk the most when I'm drunk. It was easy to hook up with girls. I just pretended to be stupid and it magically worked. They practically threw themselves at me. I think partially because I subconsciously gave out the vibe that I wasn't looking for anything but almost acted like I did. It's lame but I had too high of standards to take anything past making out. The fact that the opportunity was there period made me feel on top of the world.

    And then I got another girlfriend after I read some DD stuff and caught the attention of a waitress at a chinese buffet. I didn't even use the stuff I had learned, aside from keeping my chest high and other body language/posture stuff. I was just very appreciative and thanked her every time she refilled my drink or took away my plate. I sensed that she wanted to be around me so I struck up a convo.

    After she lost her job and was put on a train back to NYC (a pretty messed up story) and I moved to FL, I got a job as a bouncer/bodyguard and that itself was enough to make girls panties wet.

    And at clubs I was pretty good the first time I met someone but I clam up and feel too comfortable being myself in subsequent meetings. I ran into a streak where everything felt so smooth and perfect, but I wasn't getting good results. That's when I decided to just toss all that aside and be myself and I'm more selective with who I approach now. Tyler talks about how keeping the same vibe when you make the call is very powerful and I agree. I'm not going to get drunk just so I can be fun when I'm on the phone with a girl so I keep the approach simple and low key and follow that up with consistency on the phone.

    I think of all the things that I've read, what Tyler suggests of simply striking up a convo with 5 people/women a day is really all you need. If you've gotten a girlfriend before, there's no reason you can't get another. Some just lack courage. Others are very socially awkward...you can see the transformation in the RSD videos where most of the students at the seminar to me seem very "weak" and passive as far as their masculinity or confidence goes, but they look much improved by the end of the series.
     
    Last edited: Jun 12, 2008
  22. Wonderboy

    Wonderboy New Member

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    thanks for all the replies... there is some good discussion goin on here...

    i'm not lookin to read/watch a shit load of material.. the past year has been pretty slow, and i haven't been as comfortable as i am around girls.. i just want to read something that will jump start my confidence again...

    so i might read DYD or Speed Seduction (since it got mentioned alot here)
     
  23. XJ3B

    XJ3B wat

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    The Book of Pook is :bowdown:

    I think the best product is RSD Blueprint.
     
  24. mistergixter

    mistergixter New Member

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    Are DYD and Without Embarrassment the purchase price. Part of me wants to try and find them for free if I can. If the purchase is worth it, then I will do it.
     
  25. BlackIce72

    BlackIce72 New Member

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    You can find them for free. I'd say, sure, they're worth the purchase price if you APPLY WHAT YOU LEARN.

    There was FAR FAR FAR more of an impact on me from Dyer's Your Erroneous Zones that I bought for $7 than even $600 seminar videos that I have downloaded (for free).

    Investment IS important in wanting to apply the knowledge. If you don't have buy-in you won't respect what's being learned as much -- unless you go out and TRULY apply what you learn.

    IMO, for every 1 hour of 'studying' you do, go out for 4 hours and practice the stuff. Obviously this is a minimum, if you did 30 hours of being out there and socializing to every 1 hour of studying, I'd kiss you. You'll eventually realize you're going to learn A LOT more, A LOT faster by just being out and socializing.
     

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