Dating based on appearance

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Epiphany, Aug 27, 2005.

  1. Epiphany

    Epiphany 78% of all statistics are made up on the spot

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    This is actually about a guy I've posted about before. I haven't started dating him yet but I've considered it. There is a lot to the situation why I have kind of let things coast.

    I'd like some no bullshit feedback on this. Real answers on what you would do not what you think you should do.

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    Lets say you are really attracted to someone but they take no pride what so ever in how they look. They really want to date you and you are hugely crushing on them because aside from how they dress they are still cute, they have a really good personality, good steady decent paying job...but you can't seem to get past the fact that they just don't seem to care how they look... which is almost about the equivalent of homeless on some occassions.

    Would you still date them?

    How would you handle the situation? I like a guy who takes pride in how he dresses because it turns me on :naughty: This guy is so cute but he dresses like he's homeless and he is definately capable of being a whole lot sexier.
     
  2. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    Well, you like a certain style. Maybe talk to him and see if he might like your help in updating his wardrobe. I used to dress pretty crappy too. This whole town is fairly laid back. People go to class and downtown with sandals on. Hardly anyone dresses up super nice to go to the clubs. It does feel good to look good though, which is why I dumped out over half of my clothes and bought new ones. :)
     
  3. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    yeah, i would. physical appearance doesnt play a big role in the men i date. i dont think i would bring it up.
     
  4. Fase

    Fase Your Face, In A Pickle Jar.

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    See if you can get him to go clothes shopping with you and pick clothes out for him to get.

    I ignore it if it's a once in the while outfit I don't like. But if someone did that everyday I'd probably bring it up as to what looks good and such. It would bother me but I'm picky like that.
     
  5. Nouia

    Nouia New Member

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    No. Okay? No.
    I may not be qualified to answer this, but if the situation were reversed and I was interested in a girl but she made little effort in the way she looks, I probably would not date her.
    But then again, I've dated girls only because they were attractive, despite her having a personality that was extremely incompatable with my own.
     
  6. purplebeast

    purplebeast The depths of hell and endless torture await all h

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    First off, you can not change how someone is! If thats how they feel confortable then thats what they will wear.

    Secondly, there is some hope. My ex Lindz felt the same way you do(didnt tell me until later on tho). When we met, I was TOTALLY thugged out. Do-rag, shorts 3 sizes too big down to almost my calfs, thick silver necklace with a huge pendant, fade w/ a design, FUBU, BOSS, North Pole, etc, etc Just like you and your friend, we were just taking it easy. No official titles or anything. She then inveted me to a BBQ at her mom's house. Her family is white middle upper class. I was at the time a Mexican from the getto. She assured me that once her mom got to know me, she would like me for who I was. But to make the first impression a little bit smoother. We went to the mall and she helped me pick a non thug outfit. I got to tell you I felt very unconfortable. It just wasn't me. And my friends ripped me a new one when they saw me on my way to her house dressed like that. Anyways, after the BBQ we went to the Cusway. And she just fucking lost it!!!! She went ballistic, like a dog in heat. She just kept telling me how sexy the outfit made me look and how handsome I was. I got an awsome, awsome BJ and she fucked me with a passion. After that I went back to my normal attire. We had sex a few times that month. And it just wasant the same as that night. I kept asking her for an awsome BJ and I kept getting half ass head. Then one day , while I was asking her over the phone when could I get another awsome BJ. She said, fine. But only if you wear your "sexy" outfit. After that, everytime I went shopping I would get clothes like the ones she said made me sexy. I noticed that people treated me different, and particualary that girls were flirting with me more. And not only were they flirting with me, but the quality of the poonany was a lot better than what I had gotten in the past before I hooked up with Lindz. How often I dresed how she liked seemed to have a direct correlation to how often we saw each other. We ended up being official and I made the crossover fashion wise. My style has not changed a whole lot since then. This is how I feel confortable now. So altough you cant change what someone likes to wear. You can introduce them to other options to see if they like it, and sex is a great barganing tool.
     
  7. rkf76

    rkf76 New Member

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    LOL, nice story guy.

    Epiphany, like he said, you can't change someone who doesn't want to change. If you like him, accept him for who he is. Don't like his clothes? Buy him something you'd like to see him in and see how that works out and go from there. But I feel you on the outer appearance thing, it was an issue between my ex and I. I'm the "im not going out of the house unless my clothes are ironed" type of guy. She just didn't care, sometimes she'd wear clothes that were hella wrinkly, didn't match, etc. It got to the point to where I wouldn't go in public with her, it was embarrassing. It just drove us apart, not that I care, just giving it to you raw.
     
  8. tamiyaDrifter

    tamiyaDrifter Lurker

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    I go for the whole package, girls that dress down heaps don't appeal to me :o I find they usually don't care if they're nothing special to start off with anyway :o Heaps of people dress down at uni, I feel a bit our of place because I always wear jeans and shoes at uni, where a lot of guys wear boardshorts and thongs (flip flops lol). It's not as common though for the girls to dress down much.
     
  9. JustaMeThang

    JustaMeThang New Member

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    I take pride in my appearance and wouldnt date a man who didnt take pride in theirs, regardless of how together the rest of their life was. Justa preference & one that I stick to. So theres what I would do if I was in your situation. If you want to try a last ditch attempt, invite him out to a classy bar or outting, which requires him to dress up, then flatter the shit outta him & hope he sees how much him takin pride in his appearance turns you on and how much he enjoys the attention.
     
  10. dfekt

    dfekt New Member

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    i hate materialistic girls, but u can also tell a lot about a guy (or girl) about the way they dress, but generalisations about steretypes arent always the case
     
  11. Original

    Original OT Supporter

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    The way one dresses tells a lot about a person.
    I think of it as a matter of respect towards your SO when you dress to impress.

    Some girls don't even dress to impress me.. even if I ask them. I take this very personal, when the way you dress reflects the way you respect someone in my opinion. You wouldn't walk into a business meeting in scrubs would you? Now why wouldn't you want to take pride in yours looks and look sexy for your SO?
     
  12. Epiphany

    Epiphany 78% of all statistics are made up on the spot

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    :rofl: Well it's a bit early for me to consider sex at this point but if it comes down to that point that will not be a problem for me to use that plan of attack :)

    I'm definately by no means someone who has overly high expectations. In fact many of the guys that I date aren't what most girls consider all that cute. But sometimes those are the ones that have the personality and heart I want and there is just something about them.

    In a sense I do agree with kberkel. I don't look at most people who dress down disrespectful, I think there is a line.

    I'm not saying at all that he needs to go all metro on me (although I'm defiantely not against it :naughty:) but I like a clean cut guy at least. I like someone I can feel confident taking home to meet ma and it's going to make a good impression. Not someone who looks like they just bought their entire wardrobe from the Good Will.

    If thats what he had to do... fine. Then I can understand but I know he is capable of better. To me, that is where I kind of agree with kberkel.

    I date guys who wear jeans and a t-shirt a lot and thats fine. I have no problem with that at all. I like wearing comfortable clothes just the same as anyone but although I don't look at most people who dress down disrespectful, I think there is a line. There is dressing down and then there is just not giving a rats ass. If you don't care to that degree, especially by choice, then what does that tell me? Thats sad to me.

    I also think that it's great for people to want others to like them for who they are and not care otherwise but at the same time I think it's wrong to not take a little pride in yourself.

    Anyway... I'm going to go out with him and get to know him better. Maybe it's been a coincidence. Like I said we've never planned on seeing eachother the times that we have. We will see how it goes. :x: He is still a hottie.
     
    Last edited: Aug 28, 2005
  13. rkf76

    rkf76 New Member

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    that they have musty balls too cause they don't care about those either:mamoru:
     
  14. Original

    Original OT Supporter

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    Exactly. I think have great intentions and it shouldn't be a chore for him to dress well for you. There are occasions when you don't have to dress nice. If you two are going to curl up on the couch to watch a movie, sure, dress down. But if you two or going out for dinner or meeting up with some friends, he should still show a little respect for you and everyone else and dress appropriately.

    Have you asked him about this yet? I wonder how it would effect him if you never wore makeup, woke up and didn't touch your hair, and wore scrubs all day. Maybe switch it up for a day :hsugh:
     

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