Dating advice

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by txsigma, Mar 1, 2010.

  1. txsigma

    txsigma OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 13, 2003
    Messages:
    76,707
    Likes Received:
    45
    Location:
    Austin, TX
    **TL;DR WARNING**

    I would really appreciate an OP's perspective on my recent dating situation but really anyone's opinion is welcomed. First a little background..

    We met on match.com, she winked at me and initiated conversation.. We emailed back and forth for about a week until setting up a 1st date.

    1st date
    : Nothing too formal, had a couple of beers together at a local bar and played darts. There was definitely chemistry from the get go and pretty much throughout the whole night. I had plenty of opportunities to go in for the kiss but decided to restrain myself out of respect and to show her that I wasn't all about a quick lay. The night ended well and a 2nd date was set up for later in the week.

    2nd date
    : We go out in dowtown Austin with her sister and her sis' friend. This time there is even more chemistry / flirting back and forth, so much so that it was palpable. A few drinks later we are both dancing and making out.. Now this is where it gets all fucked up, she goes to the restroom and comes back and is totally different. After asking her what was wrong, she said "she was really tired." So I asked her if she'd like to call it a night and head back she agreed. So I closed my tab and we left.. not much was said on the way home, but she held my hand like everything was cool. We had another makeout session when I dropped her off and everything seemed copacetic.

    Now here it is Monday afternoon and I haven't heard from her since that night. Now maybe I am just being paranoid but it seems like something happened to drastically change her feelings about me from sat night until now? Or is my intuition correct and I should just move on?

    Update: Just invited her to lunch and she declined.
     
  2. txsigma

    txsigma OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 13, 2003
    Messages:
    76,707
    Likes Received:
    45
    Location:
    Austin, TX
    oh and if this helps any.. I have been totally taking the gentleman approach here

    e.g. brought flowers on 2nd date, opening doors, etc.

    ib:greddy:
     
  3. MMJ4mil

    MMJ4mil Active Member

    Joined:
    Nov 19, 2007
    Messages:
    13,007
    Likes Received:
    0
    Wirelessly posted via wap.offtopic.com (BlackBerry9630/4.7.1.61 Profile/MIDP-2.0 Configuration/CLDC-1.1 VendorID/105)

    How did her sister and her friends treat you?

    I think she got a txt from another dude prolly an ex who wants to get back wid her.
     
  4. txsigma

    txsigma OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 13, 2003
    Messages:
    76,707
    Likes Received:
    45
    Location:
    Austin, TX
    they were very cool (at least to my face).. but I was kinda thinking that too, maybe her sis / sis' friend told her she could do better or something. I dunno they were younger than us I'm 29, girl i'm dating is 28, her sis is like 25 and the friend was just barely 21.
     
  5. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 2, 2008
    Messages:
    1,816
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    CdM, CA
    move on. who knows what the problem was, but it honestly doesnt matter. its her issue, not yours
     
  6. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 11, 2007
    Messages:
    30,849
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Rhode Island
    Wtf? Random as shit for her to do a flip like that, but not enough emotions invested to give a fuck/care.


    Move on
     
  7. THoC

    THoC New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 5, 2007
    Messages:
    7,341
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    TRampa, FL
    too much room to guess.

    after kissing you she realized she's not over an ex.

    in her opinion you are not a good kisser.

    her sister didnt like you and it put off your date.

    etc
     
  8. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

    Joined:
    Jul 24, 2002
    Messages:
    18,783
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Lansing, MI USA
    :werd: Something is up with her... I wouldn't waste any more time on it.
     
  9. infinite.purple

    infinite.purple New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 26, 2007
    Messages:
    14,913
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Bothell, WA
    uhhh maybe just ask her?!
     
  10. Reign

    Reign Banned

    Joined:
    Nov 17, 2003
    Messages:
    21,304
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Westminster, CO
    Make one more attempt to contact her, after that it's up to her.

    Just forget about it pretty much.
     
  11. reminisce

    reminisce OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 27, 2005
    Messages:
    3,406
    Likes Received:
    0
    for her to flip flop like that in a matter of minutes for seemingly no reason is a sign to abort. she could be crazy, could be an ex, could be anything - doesn't really matter. consider yourself getting off easy, better it happened on 2nd date than the 10th.

    on to the next one
     
  12. txsigma

    txsigma OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 13, 2003
    Messages:
    76,707
    Likes Received:
    45
    Location:
    Austin, TX
    thanks for the comments guys.. i guess i just needed a 3rd person perspective to confirm what I already suspected. Lesson learned though, i know now to trust my gut feeling from now on :hs: :o

    fuck, this sucks i actually really liked this girl
     
  13. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

    Joined:
    Sep 1, 2006
    Messages:
    32,592
    Likes Received:
    5
    She got a call or text in the bathroom from someone (a guy most likely) that ruined her night.

    Translation-she's not that into you and/or not over someone else.
     
  14. txsigma

    txsigma OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 13, 2003
    Messages:
    76,707
    Likes Received:
    45
    Location:
    Austin, TX
    yeah very true.. i guess i'll never know, but i would think that if she didn't like the way i kissed she wouldn't continue to kiss me but who knows
     
  15. THoC

    THoC New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 5, 2007
    Messages:
    7,341
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    TRampa, FL
    i was just throwing out possibilities. the reason doesnt even matter, she has some sort of baggage that you do not want to deal with.
     
  16. txsigma

    txsigma OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 13, 2003
    Messages:
    76,707
    Likes Received:
    45
    Location:
    Austin, TX
    :werd: it just seemed so awkward and sudden.. just out of fucking nowhere

    oh well, like someone said earlier better to find out now than later
     
  17. txsigma

    txsigma OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 13, 2003
    Messages:
    76,707
    Likes Received:
    45
    Location:
    Austin, TX
    i think i'm going to try one more time, but later on in the week

    give her some time to hopefully contact me back and either tell me what's up or just to fuck off, after that i'm not making any more effort... some closure would be nice although not exactly necessary i suppose
     
  18. Reign

    Reign Banned

    Joined:
    Nov 17, 2003
    Messages:
    21,304
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Westminster, CO
    Since you're gonna write her off as a loss anyway, it couldn't hurt to ask why she flip flopped on you that way. Especially if you never have to see her again.

    I always hate lose ends...
     
  19. infinite.purple

    infinite.purple New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 26, 2007
    Messages:
    14,913
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Bothell, WA
    i really don't understand why EVERYONE is being so negative. i mean, sure all of the explanations that have been offered are possibilities. but i think it's unfair to this girl, and more importantly, to yourself... to write her off without giving her the chance to explain herself. it's basically taking the opinions of complete strangers who know nothing about her, other than your biased account of what transpired, rather than actually trying to figure out the truth.

    if you're really interested, just be like, "hey i felt like we were hitting it off and then something changed. what happened?"

    definitely take whatever she says with a grain of salt, but at least give her the chance to explain ffs!
     
  20. infinite.purple

    infinite.purple New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 26, 2007
    Messages:
    14,913
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Bothell, WA
    YES!
     
  21. txsigma

    txsigma OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 13, 2003
    Messages:
    76,707
    Likes Received:
    45
    Location:
    Austin, TX
    i get what you're saying, and you have a valid point. The scope of this thread was to just get a 3rd person point of view on the situation because I guess I was hoping someone could maybe relate to it or just offer up some sound advice. The consensus opinion seems to be to just move on which I agree is probably the best thing (unless OT and myself are totally off and she offers up a good explanation)

    Like i said, I'm gonna give her a day or two to call / txt me and either let me know that she's not interested anymore or she is. If not, I plan on contacting her and basically asking the exact question you posed.. so we'll see :hs:
     
  22. infinite.purple

    infinite.purple New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 26, 2007
    Messages:
    14,913
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Bothell, WA
    :x:
     
  23. THoC

    THoC New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 5, 2007
    Messages:
    7,341
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    TRampa, FL

    its not just the flip flop behavior at the bar. its that plus her declining lunch with him when he called her after.

    TS.... what exactly happened when you called her about lunch and she declined? did she explain why? did she say "ill get back to you for plans?"

    or was it just a "no thanks"?
     
  24. txsigma

    txsigma OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Aug 13, 2003
    Messages:
    76,707
    Likes Received:
    45
    Location:
    Austin, TX
    well it went down like this

    me: "hey sleepy head (in reference to her being tired sat night) got any plans for lunch today?"

    her: "i have class this afternoon so I have to work through lunch."

    :dunno: seems like she could've counter offered to have a late lunch or dinner or something
     
  25. THoC

    THoC New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 5, 2007
    Messages:
    7,341
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    TRampa, FL
    yes she could have.

    if she was interested in you as much as you are in her she would have offered an alternative.

    ive been blown off a couple of times. every time i really didnt care "why". i simply moved on to the next girl.

    every time i would shortly there after see said girl with another guy in hand.
    whether she liked him better or it was an ex i do not know. it did not matter.

    i dont see anything wrong with you calling her one more time later this week.
    give her time to contact you. if she does show interest again i would DEF ask her what happened with her flip flop. if the answer is a red flag (like an ex) then you may want to be VERY CAREFUL in continuing with this chick.
     

Share This Page