Dating a mom...

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by texansupergirl, Jun 10, 2005.

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  1. How many of you males in the 19-25 age have dated a woman that had a child(ren) or would have no problem doing so? I am 19 and pregnant which I am very excited about but the father and I are no longer together and I don't see it ever working as he is 600 miles away from me now. But I worry about being alone forever so I was just wanted to get some opinions. I wouldn't force whoever I was dating to be a father figure. Actually, I proly would never even introduce my son to a man until we had been together for a very long time because I don't want him getting attached to someone just to not have it work out. Let me know what you all think.... Thanks!
     
  2. Phreaxer

    Phreaxer New Member

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    tom leykis says NEVER to date a single mom... I think he has some good points... but each person is unique and has a story to go along with their situation.

    www.blowmeuptom.com
     
    Last edited: Jun 11, 2005
  3. Idyfohu

    Idyfohu New Member

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    I think it's very respectful and thoughtful of your son to ensure that you don't bring another partner into the situation unless it's serious. I wouldn't go around advertising that you have a child (obviously you won't), however I would inform a potential groom to be fairly early that you have a child so that they would know what they are getting into (not necessarily a bad thing).

    To be honest, my first choice wouldn't be to date someone with children, or get involved other than the physical aspect, but I know I could love someone and their child if things were right.

    Don't fret, you're not the only single mother by far. Good luck! :)
     
  4. Carpet Liquor

    Carpet Liquor New Member

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    I think with holding the fact that you have a child from a potential SO would cause problems later on....

    Say you're dating someone for a few months, let's say 8 months, then you all of a sudden say "BTW I have a child, s/he's X years old". I'd be pissed about that, not because you have a kid, but because you were ashamed to tell me that you do, that you feel you need to "trap" someone and then dropping "a bomb" like that. No you will need to inform whomever you date early on. Not the 1st words out of your mouth, but somewhere in the first week or so of getting to know someone. This way you don't waste your time or his, if he's not into dating a single mom.

    That being said, I'd have no problem with dating a single mom, if it was for the right reasons. Her reasons being that she is into me, not nessisarily looking for a father figure. I actually fooled around with a girl that was pregnant for a while, when I was about 17. Things didn't work out, not entirely sure why, could have been hormones, or just that we didn't click.:dunno:

    I'm 28 BTW, so I guess I'm actually a touch old to be replying. :p :rofl:

    Sidenote: Is it just me or is a pregnant woman not the hottest thing around? I find it very stimulating, nature at it's purest, can be just a beautiful sight to behold or erotic, sometimes both at the same time. :noes:
     
  5. MrEous

    MrEous OT Supporter

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    I don't fall into your 'age group' as I'm 28 but I have dated mothers before and am now engaged to a wonderful mother. She has 2 great kids, both 8 and 3.

    You are very smart in not introducing them right away, I think that is your best bet. Let them get to know you but make sure they know it isn't only you...all I'm saying is don't 'forget' to tell him you do have a child, when that time comes of course.

    It really depends on the guy and how they feel about children. A guy that is younger, closer to 18, is not going to have the same respects for mothers or children as someone that is older. Again, it really depends on the guy.

    Just be careful...
     
  6. Thanks for the replies so far! I would definitely tell whoever I was dating from the very beginning that I had a child, I just meant I wouldn't introduce them. I am very proud to be a mom and a child is definitely not something to be ashamed of so by no means would I keep that a secret!



    Thanks for boosting my self esteem!! :wavey: A lot better than most of my guy friends who just feel the urge to call me a milf... :squint:
     
  7. Phreaxer

    Phreaxer New Member

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    I should also state that I am about to become a single father (not my choice) so I have had the same thoughts as you are having.
     
  8. Thats where it's hard to. Because men often see women with children as another burden to deal with. Where as women will see a single father as someone who is loving, compassionate, and responsible thus making them more appealing. Double standard I guess...

    edit: and may I also add that I very much admire you for stepping up and doing the responsible thing unlike so many others...
     
  9. Phreaxer

    Phreaxer New Member

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    Ive already said too much, but thank you.
     
  10. Evil Unicorn

    Evil Unicorn Lurk but Don't Touch

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    I know exactly how you feel, I was in the same situation not too long ago. I have a 2 y/o and I am not with her father, I thought that was the end and I would be single forever.. but I have found a wonderful man that loves me and my daughter very much. I never thought it would happen but it did and I am thankful for everyday we(as in us 3) are all together. I never kept her a secret, and it made things so much easier. Just keep you hopes high, and think of that wonderful baby growing within you. It's a beautiful thing.
    I hope my mini story helped some. :x:

    BTW Congrats!
     
  11. Tornado6

    Tornado6 When the wind set down in funnel form and pulled y

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    My boyfriend and I were both 25, and I was married with a child when we met :noes:
     
  12. jayvuu

    jayvuu New Member

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    i would have no problem with dating a single mother. as long she tells me and not hide it. but yeah i would agree with you about not introducing your kid to the guy your dating until its serious.
     
  13. cfordhere

    cfordhere Guest

    i dated a few in my time but it takes a certain man to actually stay around and they are few and far between. unless you have a huge network of friends and family that will take the baby for awhile your life is now over all that you know and all that you did will now change if it doesnt your child will pay for it. you are to young to have a baby imo but people are doing it so i guess its ok. but you will find out soon up every two hours on time to a crying baby for food finding the right formula colic and all the other wonderful thigngs you dont see from other babies are going to own you gl on your choice i hope you do well i love my kids both of them but i hate the baby years
     
  14. low20

    low20 Member

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    my friend has a child and she just got married to someone other than the biological father..
     
  15. NJGuy

    NJGuy "Fuckmefuckmefuckmefuckmef uckmefuckmefuckmefuckm OT Supporter

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    I will never date any more girls with kids. Been there... done that.
    I learn from my mistakes. Some guys will. Im was one of them. Not any more.

    No way... no sir... never.
     
  16. Bigsnake

    Bigsnake OT Supporter

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    I've never done it but would consider it. If I met a girl who I was attracted to and it turned out she had a kid, then I wouldn't care too much as long as we were cool. I suppose it would be something you'd have to get use to... and it might be odd being w/ a girl that you know for sure was with someone else... You can't even fantasize about that in your head. :noes:
     
  17. Apothis

    Apothis New Member

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    I like kids and want some myself someday. But, unless I turn out sterile or something, they damn well better be mine. It is inevitable that, at some point, if the relationship is to have a future, I would have to meet the kids and fill in as a parental figure for them. That's just not gonna work. I'm only gonna want to have x-number of kids throughout my life, and I imagine it's the same with a lot of (responsible) people. I do not want any of those numbers already "used up" by someone else's seed. So my dating/family goals are pretty much incompatible with pre-existing kids.

    Nothing personal to moms and I wish them all the luck in the world. But for me, I would need to be sterile and/or desperate for a family (and probably pushing middle-aged) to want to take on kids that weren't mine. I'm 25 and I've never had much luck with the ladies. I've spent long periods of time being lonely and the prospect of "ending up alone" is one I'm well aware of. But I'm still far from meeting the above qualifications that would be needed for me to give up on the idea of ever starting "my own" family, and just settling for someone else's.
     
  18. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

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    Sorry, maybe I horrible but I HATE kids...so woman with kids=bad. Im sure there are people out there that like kids andd wouldnt have a problem though...
     
  19. topcat

    topcat OT Supporter

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    sorry girl, but me personally would not what a woman who has had another mans seed. not that you're bad person or anything, but it's just that there are so many other girls who don't have that baggage i could be with.

    i hope you do what's best for you and your child and i'm sure there are guys who will have no problem with the kid, but i think most might shy away.
     
  20. borazhasleftthebuilding

    borazhasleftthebuilding Lets Party OT Supporter

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    absolutely double standard....such is life

    when i was single, i immediately eliminated moms...

    im older now, and smarter....its not a barrier, just a different set of circumstances....

    a guy your age with the maturity needed to parachute into that....thats gonna be tough, sorry....

    guys are idiots
     
  21. l S3RG10 l

    l S3RG10 l New Member

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    I have been seeing a single mother for about 2.5 years now. It was kinda wierd at first, but she never brought her kids around. Yes kids Anyway the father of her children is a really shitty person, frugs, no child support, abusive, molester. The whole nine, so now after all this time dating, she realizes her kids DO need a father figure. I do love her kids and think I am a good person for them to be around. College degree and what not. anyway I think you can find some nice guys, just make sure you let the potential guys you date know that you have a kid, right off the bat and you'll be fine. GL.
     
  22. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    I did when I was 18. We got along well but no way was I ready to be a father.
     
  23. mrs0323

    mrs0323 New Member

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    For another female perspective, my daughter's biological father dumped me when I was 2 months pregnant. His loss. I met someone WHILE I was pregnant and dated him until my daughter was 2 months old. Numerous relationships followed. I've never come across a man who had a problem with my having a child. Of course, that was 25 years ago too!!!
     
  24. Ok this may come off bitchy and if it does I'm sorry. But yes I do have a large friends and family network that ALL want to babysit as much as possible. And my life is not over. Frankly, since I've become pregnant the only thing in my life that has changed is that I am no longer in an emotionally abusive relationship, which is definitely a good thing. I never drank, did drugs or partied. I'm not your typical 19 year old female. My life is not over, it is just beginning. And yes, I am too young to have a child but it's not like I did it on purpose. And it's not like I sleep around and am going to have baby after baby after baby. I have the strong belief that everyone is supposed to be here that's here and no one is here that's not. This happened for a reason and maybe it was to save me from the awful relationship I was in. I also see being a mother and all that entails (getting up at two in the morning and whatnot) as a priviledge and a gift. Let these things own me, it's the passage of motherhood and I am ready to face them head on. If I find someone to spend my life with, great! If I don't, oh well. I would rather spend the rest of my life single and alone then ever, EVER give up or hurt my child in any way.
     
  25. Carpet Liquor

    Carpet Liquor New Member

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    Good for you. I hope everything works out the way you want it to.

    I do feel that I think you are probably just a bit naive about how things will happen. I know that there will be a lot of people who will follow through with what they have said, about the babysitting and such, but when it comes time, I'm sure more than a few will back out. Seen it happen far too often.
     
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