Date advice topic, details of Date.

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by quamen, Mar 7, 2006.

  1. quamen

    quamen New Member

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    Well ill try to make this as short as possible and to the point. I picked up the date around 7pm and headed out for dinner at a nice resteraunt, not to fancy. We had great conversation and had a few drinks with our dinner. While we were eating at the resteraunt in her home town(she dorms away at school), she gets a call from some friends of hers that they are at a bar around the corner. We both agree well go and see what they are up to. We both start drinking, but im the driver so i only had one drink there. She is starting to drink alot, and alot more,and more and more. I look at her friends and im like holy hell, she is going to fall on her ass and die. They were like no she is okay,she is used to it which she obviously was. i thought she would have been drunk as hell,but wasnt that bad. So im getting pretty tired and I said to her, im going to take you home now. We were driving in the car and she kept saying or lets say hinting I should come in and chill at her frat house. So i said okay, and ended up in her room with her alone. We didnt have sex cause it was that time of the month, but we made out and did alot of other stuff.

    It sounds good, but it kinda isnt and this is why. Her friends sensed that I was a nice guy, and my date was blown away by me as well. I guess she isnt used to dating someone like me, im nothing special but i am a gentleman. Little things like respecting the waitress by calling her mam and opening the door really impressed her. My worries were since im a little older still in school 24, and she is about my age, I am not the typical college student. I have a very good job and own a business as well, so my money situation is good. I think she sensed this by my vehicle, and when she asked what i did and kept asking questions about myself,but i tried to just act normal and I didnt want to impress her with money,but just take me for who I am.

    The next day she calls and kept apologizing for the way she was acting,pretty loud in the bar. She sensed as well as her friends, Im not a party person to get crazy and I think she wanted me to take her out again,so this is why she was apologizing. I said no sweat, you were having a good time not to worry. Fast forward to a few days later and I see her in class,and it was kinda ackward. Anyways my main problem is this. While im more laid back, she is very very outgoing and funny while im more mellow and dull. She keeps flirting with me and I believes she wants another date,but i dont like the fact that she seems to flirt and talk to alot of other guys, it seems like every guy!!! I cant see myself getting involved with someone who might just be partying alot when im not around, and cheat on me etc. I know im thinking to far ahead,but it just seems like she likes alot of guys attention which i wouldnt get jealous,but more worried.

    She is about to graduate college in the next couple months,so i think things will die down a little bit and she will not party as much. Right now im just stuck on what to do? Even though we had good convo etc, i would never be able to keep up with that kinda lifestyle since my is more work and school orientated with partying maybe once every couple weeks. I dont know if i should call her again? Also Im trying to figure out if she likes me for me, or me cause i have money and she likes that. Im not some loaded guy here,but again not your typical college student income of a couple hundred a week or whatever they make. I do pretty well, and i tried to hide that as much as i could,but i think she kept kinda hinting around to see what i did and eventually how much i made in some fashion. She kept asking me alot and i mean alot oabout my job,my business, how many people helped me in my business etc. It seemed a little to odd.
     
    Last edited: Mar 7, 2006
  2. Sebulous

    Sebulous New Member

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    if you want a serious relationship, just tell her you dont like talking about work. I imagine she would stop asking unless she wants to know...i.e. into money. If she keeps buggin you, tell her on a date or time alone basically what you said here; that you are a jealous guy and can't stand the fact she and the guys get along and she seems like a big party person. Ending it early / decently if it's not right is always good to know.
     
  3. quamen

    quamen New Member

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    Well it was just a first date, so it were not involved in anyway. Its actually im not jealous,but more concerned than anything with the guy situation with her. She just seems to flirt alot and like the attention they give her,but i just think she is to much for me to handle.
     
  4. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    Well then tell her that. Nothing wrong with honesty.
     
  5. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    Here's my take on it:

    And she picked up the phone? Really bad sign. She was looking for an out.

    And now you lost the ability to talk with her and get to know her one on one, but you will see what kind of person she is. However, the fact that she basically ended the date is a bad sign, in my opinion.

    And now she doesn't care to be on her best behavior in front of you, which means she does not want to make a good impression. Sounds like she's not taking this seriously any more.

    Drunken make out session... not my ideal for a first date but okay.

    Good move on your part. Bad move on her part. Yes, money is a draw for many women. Me, personally, when I go on dates I will take my POS car and not my new car. At the time it was a GMC Typhoon, but hardly anyone knows what it is, let alone a woman. So they just thought it was a little old truck. Little did they know ... :naughty: Anyway, if you can go on a date and meet her there that may help you a little with that - if you think it's an issue.

    She's got no self control. I don't know if I'd want to go on another date with her.

    Very gentleman like of you. You should have busted on her, though, and told her that SHE pays for the next date to make up for it. ;)

    Well you gotta work on that. Women don't like dull men, they like to have a good time, they like a guy who makes jokes, takes charge of things, has confidence.

    She sounds like an attention whore. If she really liked you - and I mean REALLY liked you - she'd never get caught dead talking to another guy. She's looking for another chump to fall over her flirting and pay her way on a night out. I've seen lots of woman like this. If you don't mind getting used and being a sucker, and you don't mind her flirting with every guy she meets, then go for it. I tell you what, though, I've had it with women like that. I don't like coming back from the restroom and my date is gone, only to find her in the stairway with some other guy. That just does NOT work for me. And if she gets trashed when she goes out, then she'll use that as an excuse. "Oh, I was drunk, that is why I was kissing that guy." Don't fall for that game - it's a chumps game. Don't be the chump.

    You're being VERY smart here. You know what you like, your gut is telling you something is wrong, and you need to TRUST YOUR GUT. I point this out to guys all the time - women trust their gut, and men don't. Men think they can fix shit like this, like it's some broken car part or something. Your gut is telling you the truth, and you need to trust yourself.

    I sure as hell wouldn't. You went on a date, she picked up her phone, ended the date, got trashed, flirts with other guys, and parties all the time. All of these things seem to have hit a nerve with you and you have come to the conclusion that something is wrong. You KNOW you don't want this long term, either. You went on a date to get to know her, and now you do. And she does not meet your standards. Dump her. Don't call her. If another woman sees you with her, and this other woman is a better match for you, you'll never get a chance to date this other woman and you may miss out on someone who is MUCH better for you. ;)

    Who cares?

    Realistically, it *sounds* like she is just into your money. A polite woman would not bring it up at all. You could find out, of course, by inviting her on a date again but this time asking her to pick you up. Tell her your car broke again and you're short on cash as usual so you can't afford to fix it this month. Then go some place cheap like Starbucks and just get a cup of water (but maybe a coffee for her, bring a $1 bill and $4 in quarters) and see what happens. If she likes YOU, then the money will not be an issue. If she likes your money ... I bet the date goes bad rather quickly.

    You got it. She's sniffing for your money.

    So, on that note, you can send me all your money and I'll give you dating advice. Where should I send the bill? :wavey: :mamoru:
     
  6. quamen

    quamen New Member

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    Wow, i should seriously hire you as my dating counceler. All my thoughts and wonders are now clear, you broke down that perfectly. Thanks alot and Im not going to take her out again.



     
  7. Duff Myanmar

    Duff Myanmar New Member

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    What if the situation is similar, but the girl has money of her own and isn't trying to potentially play that angle? Yes, I'm in a similar type of predicament.
     
  8. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    Care to start a thread with lots of details so we can pinpoint it for you?

    Feel free to check out my site as well - www.friendzoned.com - maybe I'll write up an article about it.
     
  9. Duff Myanmar

    Duff Myanmar New Member

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    Hmmmm. I could easily write you a tasty piece of drama for dissection; however...

    I've thought about it for a while and I think that I'm not ready to lay it all out -yet. Possibly because I'm overanalyzing things which I've been known to do. If what I'm experiencing is potentially artificial joy, it's fine with me for now. I'm trying to have fun and make the most of it.
     
  10. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    You can post anonymously on my site, too. ;)
     

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