SRS Dad died last month - I'm becoming a recluse

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Teh Jebus, Dec 5, 2005.

  1. Teh Jebus

    Teh Jebus Active Member

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    Hello. :hs:.

    My dad passed away last month on the third, and my brother and I had to go up to the Sacremento area (Shit hole town called Georgetown, to be more specific) to take care of funeral arrangements, getting a bunch of his stuff back, etc.

    It's been a month now, and I'm still having problems dealing with this. Whenever someone starts talking about my dad, I start crying. Sometimes It's just a little, sometimes a lot, sometimes uncontrollably. Like right now, I cry thinking about it. I've been staying at home a lot, not really going anywhere, because if something's not keeping me busy or distracted, I think about it. I don't really have anyone to talk to. Mother lives in Tennessee with my step-dad, and I recently stopped talking with her because of the asshole she married, and the only family I have here is my brother and my cousin, and I have issues talking to my friends about this stuff. And I really don't know what to do with myself. :wtc:
     
  2. bandwagon

    bandwagon Copy/Paste

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    There is nothing wrong with how you are feeling, but I think you really need to keep yourself busy. Grief is a long process when a close family member passes away.
     
  3. GlassUser

    GlassUser send an email not a pm OT Supporter

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    Yeah pretty much. It took me forever to get over that phase when my father died, we're talking months. Just get out and keep doing stuff. Nobody's going to hate you for crying about your father dying.
     
  4. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    :hug: *Big hugs* , we are here for you :wavey:

    Now let me tell you a little something. First you are allowed to grieve, and to take as much time as you need to deal with the whole situation ,and your dad loves you and he will always be in your heart.

    However, imagine that you died instead. Would you love to see your dad,mom and family in tears, misery and agony crying over your dead and in pain for many many years to come?

    Of course not!, you would want them to be happy and live their lives to the fullest, so instead of dying for your dad, start LIVING for him!

    He would have wanted that for you, just like you would have wanted that for him.

    *hugs* much love :love:
     
  5. KatWoman

    KatWoman •••••••••••

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    :werd: The first year and a half after my dad was gone was like a blur. I remember some things, others I don't. I do remember I went through all kinds of mood swings, ok one minute, sad or angry the next. It's all part of the grieving process.

    A family member's death is something you will never "get over" but at some point you do pick up the pieces and move on. It's only been a month, the wounds are still open :hs: Give yourself time to mourn and allow healing to set in.

    They say it takes about 2 years for things to "normalize" again.


    :hug:
     
  6. LudaMan

    LudaMan New Member

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    I think everyone that already posted has said it best. It's only been a month. Thats not that long for immediate family. It took me a while to get over my grandpa's death. Just try to keep yourself busy, and I'll keep you in my prayers.
     
  7. Teh Jebus

    Teh Jebus Active Member

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    Well, I thought I should also mention, since his death I don't sleep very well. I wake up constantly during the night.

    Some family members suggested I go see a therapist, I told them to fuck off. They want me to go because they think there's something wrong with me because I'm dealing with it worse than them. But does a therapist sound like a good idea? Could it be such a bad thing?
     
  8. vaya

    vaya Big Cockney

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    There's nothing wrong with having to see a therapist.
     
  9. GlassUser

    GlassUser send an email not a pm OT Supporter

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    Double that. Even if you have qualms about seeing someone just to talk, the sleep thing could be a medical condition and at least bears discussion.

    Just beware of overmedication and addiction to sleeping aids.
     
  10. Teh Jebus

    Teh Jebus Active Member

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    I don't take pills of any kind. I've always had issues with pills because my sister and my dad were pill poppers, and I have a lot more issues with taking pills because he died from an overdose of perscription meds. :hs:
     
  11. RenaultFreak

    RenaultFreak OMG

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    well...your sleep pattern is all fucked up because you are not going out and keeping your mind busy, when you get the strenght you need to go out and continue with your life your sleep pattern will be back to normal. Is it possible for you to do any type of physical activity?, if so then try a short work out, keep your mind busy and your body tired and you'll sleep better, that can help with all the feelings going through your head right now.

    A therapist could be a good idea, dump the stereotype that all therapist and insensitive mf that prescribe you pills....some are actually good and with their wise techniques (listening and understanding you) they can help you by offering advice and other points of view over your dad's death.

    Try something please :), you shouldn't carry all this yourself.
     
  12. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    If your sleeping pattern was normal before the whole odeal, i wouldn't go into taking any pills , im guessing its stress and that that is what is keeping you awake which is/can be perfectly normal when a loved one has died :hs:

    Just give yourself time, try to remember the good times you had with your dad, and be gratefull for that he could be a part of your life, and grieve the whole thing out of your system. Talk talk talk about it to process what has happend to you.
     
  13. KatWoman

    KatWoman •••••••••••

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    You are going to go through all kinds of emotional changes and other kinds of disturbances. Waking up constantly during the night does not sound unusual in light of your father's passing. You may sleep like a baby one night, toss n turn the next...have weird dreams another night. I'd give it a few months to see how you are doing. The first 6 months are the hardest, at least for me it was, then you kinda start picking up the pieces :hug:
     
  14. V!

    V! New Member

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    Although i've never had a parent die, I'll provide the following information, try to see what new hobbies you can pick up

    I started feeling down and decided that the gym was my best release, I've been working out for about 2 months now and i feel great

    It gets you out of the house, and if you are working out with someone, you can develop a good bond with that person
     

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