Current Girlfriend Issue

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Pringles, Dec 31, 2008.

  1. Pringles

    Pringles New Member

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    I've had a current girlfriend for about a year. It always seems when we are apart that times get really rough. Both of us start to head other directions and then when we meet again in person it all gets fixed. I'm currently on a break from school and thus we have gone our separate ways.

    She used to surprise me with sex, or buy lingerie to surprise me with. She also used to make me surprise dinners. It just seemed that in the starting six months she was always excited to see and help make my day. Now when she calls me on the phone, if she does, it feels like I'm a burden to her.

    Here is the problem. I'm currently trying to get a job that her father is helping me get. If this shit doesn't end where I'm no longer amazing to her or I'm just like any other prick then I'm basically done with this. I guess I feel like I have to drag it on till I get an interview or a no from her dad before I end this.

    If you guys could please help me I'd appreciate it. Question me or help me organize my thoughts before I do something I regret. I'd also like to say thanks to OT for being there as someplace I can anonymously throw down ideas and get critiqued. Since this question gets asked a lot I'm 21, this is my second relationship after being cheated on and were both in college. I also understand the many fish in the sea idea. I'm part of greek life and have had sex with many different females because of this. I'm over the one night stands and am trying to find someone special.

    Thanks Vag :sadwavey:
     
  2. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    Two things:

    1. First of all, the first 6 months are a honeymoon period in a relationship. People go to great lengths to show each other their good sides. So, now that the newness of the relationship has worn off, all that extra bullshit you both did to impress each other is slowly going to come to end or at the very least become less frequent. If you START a relationship with this mindset, it wouldn't rock you so hard when it gets to this point, and you won't question her intentions or whatever. Sadly, you didn't start with that mindset, so it's a little harder to adjust to. Get used to the idea of girls doing all these nice things for you coming to crashing halt after a few months up to a year. Seems like a lot of girls do just enough to hook a guy, and when they know they've got him hooked they let everything down and get bored. Your best move? Challenge her. Keep her interested. Don't be so predictable. The minute YOU stop being a challenge and start whining about all the things she isn't doing for you, is the moment she starts looking around for something more interesting.

    2. And wtf man? You're going to hang around long enough to see if you got the job? You're fucking using her man. That's ridiculous. If you're not happy with the relationship, then you shouldn't hang around long enough to get a job from her dad. First of all, how obvious would that be? And secondly, grow a spine.
     
  3. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    How often do you see and/or talk to each other?

    A lot of times when a girlfriend is giving you the burden vibes it is because she has lost attraction for you and is thinking about ending the relationship, but she doesn't want to do it herself. Which is why she will act like you're a burden when you talk to her or are around her. She is trying to subtly communicate to the guy that he should break up the relationship.
    When you're around someone you care about or want to be with, you don't act like they are a burden.

    Grow some self-respect and stop letting her treat you that way.
     
  4. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    One thing to keep in mind, which will be helpful whether you continue this relationship, or move on to a new one in the future.

    The point of being in a relationship is not to amaze the other person. It's to be happy with that other person.

    If you're not happy, or she's not happy, something needs to change, but your measuring stick should not be based on "Do I seem amazing to her?"
     
  5. Reinfeldt

    Reinfeldt New Member

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    Does her father work at the job you're trying to get, or does he just have connections there? If he works there it could be quite awkward. Think about how it could end up before you continue with your plans! :)
     
  6. Pringles

    Pringles New Member

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    Thank you. I think it's good to take a step back and view it like that. Because of my ability to read other peoples emotions, when in person, I hate the phone. Ever since I got my first cell phone and people could hide behind that or texting, I don't enjoy it.

    I'll have to see her when we come back to know if we truly are making each other happy. Or maybe I'm the burden I can't see through her lieing words. Thanks guys for your responses.
     
  7. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Agree with both
     
  8. coldstone

    coldstone New Member

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    [y]oj3CCz6fKZU[/y]
     
  9. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :rofl: that might be the greatest video I've ever watched
     
  10. coldstone

    coldstone New Member

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    Word. I have it bookmarked.
     
  11. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    Fucking GENIUS. I love it.
     
  12. Pringles

    Pringles New Member

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    Code:
    Get used to the idea of girls doing all these nice things for you coming to crashing halt after a few months up to a year. Seems like a lot of girls do just enough to hook a guy, and when they know they've got him hooked they let everything down and get bored. Your best move? Challenge her. Keep her interested. Don't be so predictable. The minute YOU stop being a challenge and start whining about all the things she isn't doing for you, is the moment she starts looking around for something more interesting.
    
    I disagree strongly with this. Your telling me that long term relationships are best held together by one party playing mystery man. Granted I play that to get girls attention in the start, but after a couple months or a year it no longer becomes something I'm interested in. Why can't I be myself? Why do I have to be mystery man to hold a females attention for longer than a couple months? Your telling me this is healthy?
     
  13. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    How do you think you got their attention in the beginning? Why can you expect to change that and then expect her to maintain attraction for you over time?

    "Your best move? Challenge her. Keep her interested. Don't be so predictable. The minute YOU stop being a challenge and start whining about all the things she isn't doing for you, is the moment she starts looking around for something more interesting."

    This is the single best advice for anyone trying to maintain a long term relationship. I've seen so many men that are clueless about this, and never saw the signs of it coming. Then when their woman left them they are asking everyone what happened. "But I loved her so much.", "I thought she loved me.", etc... I've heard it all. You can't fall into everyday mode and expect her to stay.
     
  14. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    :rofl: @ the code thing (is that some sort of subliminal message :mamoru:)

    Anyway, show me where I said "Play mystery man" then come back and let's talk.
     
  15. Pringles

    Pringles New Member

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    thank you that advice is sound. I realize now what I'm doing. So even though no matter how much they, she, complains about something you could change to make her or your life easier in the relationship you shouldn't? because that's what she is attracted to?
     
  16. formul8

    formul8 New Member

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    The youtube vid is sad, but true.
     

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