Cums too fast, please help!

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by plutonicshore, May 5, 2006.

  1. plutonicshore

    plutonicshore no name no slogan

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    Houston, we have a problem.
    Hello, I'v never posted on here but my fiance and I have a problem.
    We've been together for 8 months and after about 3 months of being together, he just couldn't perform like he used to.
    Now it's to the point where he can only last maybe 5-10 minutes and that's with taking little pauses every now and then.
    The problem is that he cums too fast!!
    We've tried many different things to fix this but it's very frustrating for the both of us because he wants to get me off and I want to get off.
    He used to be able to give me multiples but now I just can't do certain things because if I do, he'll cum.
    I finally took this issue to the boards to see if anyone had any potential reasons this might have happened and perhaps to see if anyone had any ideas for us to try and overcome the issue.
    If anyone has any questions, feel free to ask, nothing is too personal.
    Any help would be greatfully appreciated.
    Thank you so much.
     
  2. Sooka

    Sooka New Member

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    Eh I think the vaginarium or freakyshiat forum is a better place to post something like this at.

    mod note Moved to vag ->
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 5, 2006
  3. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    The answer = impossible.

    why?

    Ejaculation = a reflex. A unvoluntary reaction that you cannot control.

    Many men like your guy suffer from premature ejaculation and are losing a lot of money and gf's on all the literature/herb medicines/books/shrinks and what not there is all avialable on the internet due to their 'problem'. Sprays that reduce sensetivity only work so and so much and the rest is just bs.

    The real story?

    Unless you destroy the ejaculation causing cells in the spine he will continue to ejaculate early. The only medicines that are available which slow down ejaculation time are only having this as a side effect , and are not made for that goal rather a side effect while treating another disease.

    In other words the available technology + medicines are NOT currently available , in other words 'currently no solution'

    Maby in the future that a medicine will come out, until then the only thing you can do is foreplay without you going to much on him,and he more giving you a treatment.
     
  4. Kirbys Autumn

    Kirbys Autumn Mrs. Kirby McSpic

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    Well, my friend's boyfriend has the same problem. He told us that he now uses 2 different condoms to last longer. He first uses the extended pleasure ones (apparently he feels it less, and it helps him to last longer) and then when he's ready to come he wears the Her Pleasure ones. Apparently this helps a bit, but I'm not sure of anything else that would work.
     
  5. guiltybystand3r

    guiltybystand3r On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for e

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    who's to say its him and not you? at this point you might be so focused on him "cum to fast" that you cant get off. anything more than 15 minutes is really over kill or it means there isnt enough foreplay to enable you to cum within his time table. :dunno:

    then there is always rounds two, three and four. once he's already cum, there should be no reason why he cant tack another 5-10 minutes onto his oringal time.
     
  6. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

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    The problem isnt cumming to fast, its not getting you off then? 5-10 minutes should be pleanty of time for you to reach multiple orgasms if he knows what he is doing and you let yourself.

    You need to focus on the actual problem...making him feel ashamed because of his ejaculation time (which btw 5-10 is not pre-mature in any way) whether it is intentional or not, is not going to solve the problem. Work on getting him better at sex, and getting you more relaxed for an orgasm

    :rofl: Havent had a long sex life have you? After a while those extra rounds dont happen so often
     
  7. guiltybystand3r

    guiltybystand3r On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for e

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    I'm not saying its an every time type of thing, but i'm only 23 so i still have a lot of gusto tween the sheets. Sometimes one time just aint cuttin it. Plus its annoying when my gf has multiples the first go around. Where's my second O...see rounds two, three and four, lol :hsd:
     
  8. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

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    Another reality apparently
    Men are also very different amoung each other, and many many other variables besides age go into a mans sexual longevity. Its nice that you "have alot of gusto tween the sheets" however that doesnt really solve the problem at hand, and it shouldnt be told to women to expect it.

    Why is it annoying when your gf has muliples the first go around? Does she make you stop after that? You sound 15 not 23 :mamoru:
     
  9. mentoman

    mentoman New Member

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    jack him off first before you guys start to really play
     
  10. jab1983

    jab1983 40/40 crew failure with less than 1 week to go...D

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    Get him drunk, if hes drunk he won't cum so quick.


    All I can sudgest is have more foreplay centered around you so that your more exited and closer to an orgasm and if he cums, he can finger you for another few minutes before he goes at it again.


    Even if he cums, he should still be able to get a second round in.
     
  11. guiltybystand3r

    guiltybystand3r On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for e

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    First of all, I offered my suggestion in the first post I made and was simply responding to you in my follow up.

    Second, I will be the first person to hate on guys bragging about their sexual exapades on the internet, so with that being said, yes she often doesn't want to have sex again when she has a multiple orgasm the first time around. :fawk:
     
  12. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

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    :hsd: women in thier double standards...you go early and they think something is wrong and look for help...she goes early, and something is wrong with you because you havent finished yet :rofl:
     
  13. foad

    foad New Member

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    I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say he stopped jerking off before sex. :bigthumb:
     
  14. Guardfather

    Guardfather The Paradox

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    You're way off. Was this posted before it moved to the vag? I'd expect vag visitors to know better.
     
  15. Brigante

    Brigante i'm a lurker without an avatar, deal with it

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    i've found some positions work better for my gf while others (aka all positions, haha) wofk better for me. try various positions and find what works best for you. my gf can't get off if i'm doing her from behind no matter how fast or slow or how rough it give it to her. and it'll take her a very long time if she's on top. missionary style with her pelvis slightly elevated seems to work very well for her. and maybe it's just my gf but i've found when we're in missionary and i start kissing the back of her ear and neck, that gets her going real fast. those are the kinds of techniques you just have to discover for yourselves
     
  16. Kinks

    Kinks Sup. OT Supporter

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    He needs to experiment with different thrusting techniques. For example, sliding almost all the way out and back in again feels great, for the guy. Staying mostly in and basically grinding feels great for the girl. So he should be able to control things that way.

    Also, I find it near impossible to orgasm if I'm concentrating on getting the woman off. I need to think about my own side of the bargain, which works out great because I can think about her for a while, then think about me.. and then we're both satisfied :big grin:

    If that fails then it's time he started thinking about margaret thatcher naked on a cold day.
     
  17. michaele36

    michaele36 New Member

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    tell him to jack off a few hours before
     
  18. Pringles

    Pringles New Member

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    maybe tell him to jerk it after waiting 20 mins of pron so his body gets used to blasting at that time. Or teach him kegals.
     
  19. Trina

    Trina New Member

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    5 to 10 minutes is definitely not enough time, especially for someone who may require time to peak past her plateau.

    He probably needs to masturbate more often, or about 30 minutes before you want some fun, give him a BJ.

    Also, if you are having infrequent sex, that can also cause premature ejaculation. If it's possible, have sex twice daily at least for a week or two and then see where you guys are on time spent.
     
  20. motivez

    motivez New Member

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    What the hell are you talking about? This is the biggest load of crap I've ever heard, and being that you MOD an advice forum.. you should do some reading before you post this type of stuff.

    My advice to you is 1 word: Kegels

    Get him to learn those and he'll be better able to control himself, just make sure he doesn't overdo it.. because it can lead to problems.

    I also second the "tell him to jerk it an hour or so before", he'll have time to recoup and it'll take him much longer to get off the 2nd time around.
     
  21. Pringles

    Pringles New Member

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    motivez what kind of problems can be induced from kegals?
     
  22. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    avg guy cums in, what, 2 min.? foreplay should allow you to cum from sex very fast once u figure out what works. if not climaxing is ur problem, after 5-10 minutes of continuous sex, u need to work on figuring out what does it for you.
     
  23. plutonicshore

    plutonicshore no name no slogan

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    Houston, we have a problem.
    You guys all got it wrong.
    It's not like this is the way it's always been... He used to be able to go for even 20 mins w/out cumming and now it's like, 5 mins of taking it SLOW.
    If I'm on top, I start moving in a way that feels good to me and he stops me and says "if you keep doing that, I'll cum." so then I gotta chill and try something else.
    THAT is why I can't cum in 5 mins because I have to avoid doing the things that feel good to me for the sake of him not cuming.
    I don't pressure him, I don't even say "please don't cum"...
    It's kinda just unavoidable so I think we're going to try pills and see if it works.
     
  24. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

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    Another reality apparently
    Did you expect him to stay 20 min forever? He is down to being a normal male :dunno:
     
  25. guiltybystand3r

    guiltybystand3r On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for e

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    No kidding! As long as she's getting off though, I'm usually pretty happy, because its a cold day in hell when I dont get mine or a 12 pack of beer. :mamoru:
     

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