SRS Critique the email.

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Dorn, Feb 9, 2005.

  1. Dorn

    Dorn New Member

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    Backstory:We met at one of my manager's birthday parties. She's actually his neighbor. Essentially, she's what I'm looking for in a girlfriend. We had planned on grabbing coffee last Monday and Tuesday, but she had to cancel both times. They seemed like valid points (inventory for her dad's work, a paper the next night). We went out Thursday to dinner, had fun, she said we'd go out again. Scheduled playing pool with a friend of mine and his girlfriend, she had to cancel saying that she had to get up at 6 the next morning to help her dad with work. It's crossed my mind that maybe she's cancelling on me because she doesn't want to hang out, but the other part of me thinks that she is too busy, but wants to hang out with me.

    So mainly, just read the email, and tell me if it seems right.

     
  2. Nihilist

    Nihilist Guest

    An e-mail like that could ruin things, you might wanna try a little longer and find out the painful way instead. Don't make her think you're so serious, you might scare her away with a letter like this.
     
  3. johan

    johan Active Member

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    The length of the email is a serious no no. Try to do more with less.
    Don't freak her out with a book length narrative going into hellish details.

    Seriously. Keep it to maybe one of those paragraphs you've got there. Sweet talk her, what you've got there, amounts to an emotional manifesto -- do you really think it's going to be easy for her to wade through all that?

    On the other hand, if you send it anyways, you'll know for sure if she likes you. Any girl who is willing to plow through all that text, has GOT to be into you. ;)
     
  4. themacstallion

    themacstallion The electric sheep are dreaming up your fate

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    yeah i read the first couple lines and shook my head horizontally. its too long for someone that has only been on one date before first of all, and then you were saying that shes something that you really want in a girlfriend. and its great to feel that way, but telling her that will scare her off very fast. you need to do it like its no big deal instead of having this big confrontation RIGHT when you start dating, otherwise she'll think she'll have an annoying, needy, overprotective, insecure boyfriend to look forward to in the future. i wouldnt even write an email about it, just call her and ask her if she wants to go out again, if she gives another excuse then just say something like

    "you know, you dont have to date me if you dont want to, i mean, i want to and i think i think im really starting to like you, but if you dont want to then i wont be crushed if you dont. because i dont want you to do anything you dont want to do"

    every relationship i was in before last year i was always the needy one, but when i learned to look like i cared less...then they were the ones coming to me saying "im worried that you dont want to be with me anymore!" or "i just want to spend time with you but your always doing something" its nice when its them and not you acting like that because you'll know if you care or not either way, but if they do that, then you will also know that they care and it is by acting so "non-caringly?" that will keep her interested in you.
     
  5. RyeBread

    RyeBread If you tell the truth you don't have to remember a

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    everyone else has already said it. Don't send that.

    Hopefully you feel a little better having at least written it. Re-read it yourself.

    call her tell her that you really want to see her, even if it's only for a few minutes while she's doing laundry. She likely will be amused/charmed by the fact that you are willing to spend the time she spends doing menial things just to be with her. It will also give her the chance to be productive, and hopefully talk bout some of what you're feeling in that e-mail.

    good luck. :)
     
  6. BBQ Monster

    BBQ Monster New Member

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    Well, reading every word of that made me think you are already infatuated with her. If the point is not that, then you should realy try to type something a little more user friendly. "Yes", you like the girl but since you have only realy had one date, I would not push the buttons on sending that too her. It might freak her out. Try to tell her you enjoyed the date with her and are just wondering when you two could do it again sometime. Don't sound desperate. But put the ball in her court, let her decide. I am not telling you to wait around, but if she does not call in a few days then you know your answer. Good luck.
     
  7. If someone cancels with me twice consecutively [especially short notice], I don't reschedule. If they want to see me then *they* will reschedule with me.

    1: Once, no big deal.
    2: Twice, shame on you.
    3: Three, same on me.
     
  8. Whalephat

    Whalephat Conservative Bastard

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    I definitely wouldn't send that email. Something like this would suffice...

    If she cancels again, just tell her "I'm getting the impression that maybe you're just not interested in me..." and put the ball back in her court.
     
  9. the Rosswog

    the Rosswog OT Supporter

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    my short answer:

    this is the kind of thing that is good to write to get out your thoughts.

    this is a letter you write that you never send to the person.
     
  10. darla

    darla Some mornings it's just not worth chewing through

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    You're obviously trying to sort things out in your mind, and no one can blame you for that :). But it's just too intense. I agree with Whalephat, - send a short, simple e-mail; it'll convey your interest and allow her to suggest a day when she knows she'll be up for enjoying your [next] date together instead of being tired or having other commitments.
     
  11. KatWoman

    KatWoman •••••••••••

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    Perhaps, instead of sending any e-mail, how about waiting to see if she calls? I personally dont think email communication is the right thing, especially if you've only gone on 1 or 2 dates. To me (if I was single that is) if a guy sends me an email after 1 or 2 dates to "see if you're still interested" I would be under the impression that the guy is too scared or too lazy to call....but then again that's just me. I like communication to be more personal....especially when it comes to emotional stuff.
     
  12. Dorn

    Dorn New Member

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    Well, after taking out some things, changing some other things, and adding a couple things, I sent it. It doesn't look, nor sound like the original thread.

    I ended up talking to a couple friends about this. They know what's been going on with everything inside and out. They figured the email was a good idea. So, we'll see what happens.
     
  13. dave steel

    dave steel My Kung Fu is the best.

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    You will have to cancel on her a few times. Otherwise, nothing will come of this relationship.
     
  14. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    your letter was way too serious and way too self centered.
     
  15. Gandin

    Gandin New Member

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    Yeah, I would have totally cut it down and rid it of the fact that you are very very into her. She has valid reasons, and its good that you got to hang out once. Don't make plans with her, don't set a date, but make it known you want to hang out again. Then wait. See if she comes to you. If she doesn't, decide whether you want to ask yet again, or leave her alone.
     
  16. chica&buddies

    chica&buddies Active Member

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    ack... no email, call her!
     
  17. Bleed

    Bleed New Member

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    dont send this. just ask her out again and see how it goes.

    this letter makes you sound like you're already an obsessed stalker.
     

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