SRS Creepy Message

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by JohnJohnJohnson, Mar 24, 2005.

  1. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    I was in a writing workshop with this guy who I'll call Bill. For most of the semester, the class was whatever. Fun, sometimes useful, sometimes not, whatever. Then when we had to workshop a piece, for some reason I decided to choose this piece that I can only write when I'm really depressed. If not depressed, I have to get myself into that depressed mindset. So it's a really dismal, moody thing that, by means of the main character, shows a lot of my own insecurities and weaknesses. Anyways, after I read this piece to the class, Bill sent me a message telling me that we had more in common than I knew, and that I should stay in touch. This week, he was found dead in his room. Rumor has it that he hung himself. Off topic is anonymous and no one I know goes here, so I feel comfortable spilling this out to you guys. I am somewhat creeped out, because I feel like he reached out to me in response to my own expression of depression (and I never responded), and then killed himself. Thanks for listening.
     
  2. D

    D A guiltless state of self awareness.. The process

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    Ok, you don't have ESP, & telling someone that you have alot in common & stay in touch honestly isn't "reaching out." You couldn't have known. I think it shows compassion that you feel that way. You should forgive yourself. People are here one minute, then poof. I kinda feel that when we mourn we are actually mourning our loss of that person being here. In this case, a potential friendship.
    :( Quite a shock though. Sorry to hear it. :hug:
     
  3. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    Of course I don't feel guilty in any big way. If I had to be precise, I would say you're right: he wasn't specifically, actively, consciously reaching out for help. However, it was clear from his message and from the timing of his message that the depressive crap I wrote about was the subject of his thoughts and the basis of his self-comparison to me. I should have responded, but again, you're right, I don't have e.s.p., and there's no way I could have known that his depression was that deep. Mine certainly isn't.
     
  4. Vay

    Vay New Member

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    You could not of done much JohnJohnJohnson. You can not stop everyone from killing them selfs. Heck you could not even know he was going to kill him self. All you can do is hold up your head, and live your life again. Sorry you have to go through this though. :(

     
  5. It's certainly not your fault John. Those who are suicidal usually need a great deal of support, and insight, as well as someone to listen to them. Additionally so many factors can contribute to suicide besides simply psychology that it's impossible for you, or anyone who is untrained in psychology, or medicine to be able to know where to begin or exactly what was wrong.

    Your feelings about the experience aren't surprising, but it's important that you know you're not responsible for how this ended.
     
  6. Bioanger

    Bioanger Self-Proclaimed moron

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    Motivations for suicide are never completely one-dimensional.

    If Bill really believed that you could have helped him, he would have kept sending you messages until you changed your address. The fact that he didn’t tells you that he wasn’t looking for someone to pull him out; he was just looking for someone to hear his scream. You were put in the unfortunate position of being that someone; don’t beat yourself up over it.
     
    Last edited: Mar 24, 2005
  7. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    First off all, it's not your fault. (and i can relate) when my neighbour commited suicide, he also came to us to discuss the problems he was having with other neighbours. But there was no obvious direct link visible between these problems and the suicide that he commited. This is obvious also the case in your outspoken letter. He was on the same frequency of depression that was leveled out in your letter, so he could relate.

    Since you had no previous knowledge of this , you are not to blame.

    I will add something you should be aware off. You should never put additional darkness(negativity) into others people's lives. You might give them that last extra push which will make them go over the edge. Every person has only so and so much coping resources in which they can withstand what life throws at them.

    The consequenses of negative facts are send out like a wave , or ripple that effects the entire pond. If you put droplets of light and love into it it will effect that entire pond for the good.

    Objects can have negative impacts on people , a dark and depressive painting, can put a person into depression if he looks at it long enough, a stupid picture of yourself, a nasty word , a degrading 'you will never achieve anything' attitude can bring a person to commit suicide.

    DONT CONTRIBUTE TO ADDING MORE MISERY IN THIS WORLD.

    Your letter was probably a (poetry) linguistic master piece, which value should not be dismissed. But it added no love,light nor hope into this already forsaken world.

    This guy probably had been planning his suicide for a while, also he probably had too much set backs in his life already. Suicide is not something you decide within one week, most of them walk around months with idea before they actually commit it.

    You wrote this letter without the intent to hurting someone,letting alone killing himself. Conclusion ' you had no idea that this would happen, and therefore you are not-guilty'

    Also, you decide what your write yourself, but it sure would be nice if it was a little bit more upbeat ,positive and hopefull for those who get to hear it. :hs:
     

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