SRS Crazy old relationship - Keep getting the urge to Ressurect! Help! Please!

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Chabaz, Feb 15, 2006.

  1. Chabaz

    Chabaz OT Supporter

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    She was my best friend - Amber..and we had known each other since seventh grade.

    We were great friends up until about eleventh grade - when we started dating...then loved each other - and always talked about getting married; and spending the rest of our lives together; etc, etc.

    Anyways...we broke up at the end of senior year over some dumb shit - (just wasn't getting along, she wanted to take a trip to florida with a 'guy' friend).

    So yeah I dumped her..she was crying and wanted to get back together - but I wasn't having it.

    I definetly secretly missed her for about a couple months or so - but just got through it...and continued on my life.

    I haven't had sex since then - which was about a year ago - which is not really a problem at all with me; considering I just like to go out and have fun however possible.

    Anyways...I've noticed myself thinking about her now more than ever, even dreaming about her. It's creepy really. I never thought that I would even think about her - or have feelings about her again - but it seems as if this could all change.

    I haven't really seen her in over a year either - and we definetly left on bad terms; but there is this little twitch in my brain that keeps telling me - that we still might have something...either now - or sometime down the road; you never know.

    Anyways...I don't know her e-mail address, phone number, or AIM name - and I have been trying to get ahold of her - but I cannot..

    Strangely enough she lives about a block down the road from me - and I pass it every day on my way to work. But she lives with her mother, step-dad, and two siblings...So I totally could not just stop by - Like I would just feel soo goddamn weird stopping back at my ex-best friend/girlfriends house that I haven't been in a year or so - even though I've had alot of great experiences at that house.

    Her mom adored me too...I don't know - it just feels/sounds crazy I know - but I had to tell someone about this.

    What would you guys suggest? Do you think I am just imagining all this in my brain..should I really grow two pairs of balls and just stop by down there?

    Should I get her mothers house number?

    This is driving me mad I tell you MAD! :o
     
  2. Devilish

    Devilish Remind me AGAIN

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    If she means that much to you, go and knock on her door. It might be well worth it
     
  3. Chabaz

    Chabaz OT Supporter

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    I'm just kind of really scared of talking to her mom...or really even seeing her - without knowing if she would like to see me!
     
  4. teo

    teo . => ? => !

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    Be careful - are you remembering the good without remembering the bad? I can remember the good times with my exes, but I also remember why we broke up and why I don't want to go back to any of them. I'd recommend dating someone else (even casually) before pursuing the ex again. You might just be opening an old, rotten can of worms.
     
  5. johan

    johan Active Member

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    So how much of this is just because you haven't been able to get another girl that holds your attention?

    If you went out and dated more, you'd find yourself obsessing over her much much less.

    Go ahead and try and get with her again. It'll fall apart soon enough, and it'll remind you why you two broke up last year.
     
  6. Jay Pheezy

    Jay Pheezy New Member

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    Ahh the pessimism that braces this place :\ Maybe I'm just too optimistic. But anyway, you must try. Some how, some way you have to get a hold of her. If that means having a stake out outisde her house until she comes out, well so be it. But you're probably better off knocking hoping her mom or her answers. Ask her to take a walk or something. Then uh.. go for it :| Don't be too hopeful though. Probably 1 of 3 things: 1. She doesn't want it. 2. She's with someone else now. 3. She never got over you and wants back in. So mathematically in theory you have a 33% shot ;)

    Or maybe she'll ask for time to think. :dunno: Good luck, let us know how it goes. :)
     
  7. johan

    johan Active Member

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    pessimism...heh.
    Well the fact is that these high school relationships are not meant to be clung to for dear life, as though it's a life preserver and you're on the Titanic.

    You're supposed to learn and grow and change and new relationships are a part of that. If something isn't working -- sure work on it -- for a while.

    But these things have a certain arc to them...when they've reached the natural end, it's counterproductive to return to the scene of the crime and try to squeeze more juice out of it.

    You broke up for a reason. She left for a reason. And wanting to take a trip with a guy "friend" Err.. yeah. Do we really need a codebook to translate that one?

    During a dry spell, it's natural to think back to a former love interest and say "hmmm, it used to work, maybe it could again".

    Call it pessimism if you will, but its simply the natural order of things in highschool. Entirely different situation, and hence different advice for the 35 year olds with two kids in tow.

    I know all you 17 year olds feel like you really gotta hang on to this one and you'll wither away if she leaves you....but that just isn't the case.

    Regardless of what your feelings tell you.
     
  8. Jay Pheezy

    Jay Pheezy New Member

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    Yeah well you can't blame us teens for our underdeveloped minds then ;) I guess when we finally learn later in life we'll be like "damnit shoulda listened to ot."
     

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