craving something new

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by teep, Jun 15, 2008.

  1. teep

    teep New Member

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    I'm in a pretty serious relationship and my girlfriend and I have lived with each other for a little while now. Would it be wrong for me to date other people? I wouldn't cheat on her. It would be in a platonic sort of way.

    Since moving in together for the most part things have been great. I love coming home knowing at the end of the day she'll be by my side. The only problem is I get bored very easily. When we go out like we used to- explore the city, drink, take part in random mischief- it's amazing. Lately though, all she wants to do is stay in, watch tv, and play on the internet.

    She says she's completely happy with the way things are and I believe her. She's absolutely ecstatic when I cook dinner and she eats while watching her favorite shows and shops online. It's starting to bore me to death. We have sex on a regular basis, but even that is getting weird. Basically how it goes down is "So do you want to do it?" And answers will range from "I guess I could to I'm gassy." What really kills me though is now when she's tired she absolutely will not do anything. If her mind is set on sleep, all of a sudden she can't wake up enough to carry a conversation. This is the girl that would go out drinking with me after pulling all nighters during finals week.

    I have my own friends that I hang out with, but I'm craving something new. I miss the excitement of first date jitters and getting to know someone. I'm 21 years old. I'm tired of feeling like an old married couple.
     
  2. fray

    fray New Member

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    It wouldn't be platonic if you're wanting to date other people. Platonic is wanting to have friends outside the relationship.

    Cheating does not always have to mean you fucked someone else. I'm sure you going on a date with another girl would be enough for her to consider it cheating.

    You need to talk to her and let her know your concerns - that you miss going out like you used to, you're craving it, and you can't live without that excitement. If she can't provide that anymore or is unwilling to compromise, then you make the decision if you want to continue your life with her or not. You do not date other people while keeping your primary girlfriend at home on retainer.
     
  3. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Sounds like someone needs to have a serious talk with their girlfriend, not a message board, about what their future entails.

    If you are in love with her you would not be craving meeting new women and dating them "platonically" :hsugh: :rofl:

    When you know you are in love and this is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with you grow up and get over the fact that those inital butterfly feelings will sometimes eventually fade. However, if you work hard at your relationship to keep it fresh and exciting you still can get those excited jitters.

    Sounds like you are young and realizing settling down might not be what you want or are just too lazy to really work on your own relationship. You really need to sit down with your girlfriend and tell her exactly how you are feeling. Tell her you miss the spark. Tell her you miss her wanting to go out wih you, etc. Tell her you are starting to want to meet other women.

    Going behind her back to meet women will only prove you are a douchebag who knows he's doing something wrong.
     
  4. DTR rex

    DTR rex New Member

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    What you want it what a lot of guys want. They are in a long-term relationship and they love the girl, they love the comfort, and they love having someone.... but at the same time they are getting bored, want to meet new people, and want something new and exciting.

    Good luck trying to get that work... because it won't.

    You have to decide what is more important: exploring your new interests and making life more exiciting but risking losing her...... Or staying with her.
    Some people walk away from the relationship and regret it because the dating/single life isn't all it's cracked up to be, and others leave the relationship and never look back.

    You need to talk with her and find out where you reside on that scale.
     
  5. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Long term relationships and marriages can work over time, the problem is every these day gives up. His relationship could be exciting again if he opened his mouth, told his girlfriend how he really felt and they both worked on it together!

    It's the same thing when couples complain the sex is getting old, you have to work and be creative and try new things to freshen it up!
     
  6. DTR rex

    DTR rex New Member

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    Very true. And I absolutely couldn't agree more.

    One of my favorite quotes is "nothing in life worth having ever comes easy". And seeing as a marriage/LTR is one of the most significant aspects of anyones life, you have to expect work towards to it and make changes/compromises.
    If that fails (after a REAL effort) then walking away from it all should become an option.

    It just sounds like this guy wants to the best of both worlds... and he's going through what everyone goes through in an LTR (guys and girls)... but he needs to realize you can't have both.
    And I am going to take a shot in the dark and assume he moved in with her before either of them were ready for that.
     
  7. jonno

    jonno New Member

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    dude you're 21 and live with your gf? wait.... WAT
     
  8. Diesel66

    Diesel66 My standards for women is like rent-a-centers stan OT Supporter

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    seriously, what.... ?

    how old is she
    how long have you been together
     
  9. Bubba Atlantis

    Bubba Atlantis New Member

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    You should be asking these questions on a message board. As IWYWB mentioned, you have some serious issues that you need to address. It seems like you are just looking for an excuse to get out of the relationship or are too lazy to put in any effort to maintain a relationship.

    Is there something wrong with what you are wanting? No....is there something wrong with what you are wanting, given your situation? YES!

    What you are suggesting won't solve anything and only make it worse.
     
  10. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Oh I completely agree.

    It just upsets me that he started the post acting as if trying to meet and technically date other women without her knowing would be "innocent." It's a whole other issue that they are living together at 21 after only dating a year...

    I find it hilarious that this thread was only written 3 months ago...and look how quickly their relationship is turning into exactly what he said it wouldn't:
    http://forums.offtopic.com/showthread.php?t=3728548

    In fact, I'm going to quote myself from that thread because I think every single point is still valid

     
  11. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    In most relationships, no, you can't go date other people if you're seriously involved with/living with an SO.

    You're going to have to choose. Do you want new women, or do you want to stay with the current one?

    Second, why the fuck don't you have a talk with the current gf and say "Hey, I'm getting kind of bored with doing nothing at home every night....let's make some plans for some fun stuff to do".

    Personally, since that option seems to have escaped you, I don't think you're that attached to the current gf.

    And really, you're way too young to be living together with an SO, way too young to feel like an old married couple...your best bet would probably be to end the relationship.
     
  12. Drifter87

    Drifter87 Yippi-kay-ay, Motherfucker

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    I really don't see how people can do this even at the older ages. For example my parents are like 50 years old and they still go out at night or go visit other countries. You just don't see them going out EVERY night.

    I would go crazy if all my GF wanted to do after work or on the weekends was stay inside and watch TV.
     
  13. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    You have to take the negatives with the positives. These negatives are minor as far as relationships go...
     
  14. DTR rex

    DTR rex New Member

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