SRS Cousin of 15 years overdosed on heroin last night

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by t-t-t-today, Mar 29, 2009.

  1. t-t-t-today

    t-t-t-today New Member

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    My mother and this kids mother met about 15 years ago. I've known the kid ever since then. The kid had a behavioral disorder, so I never liked him. In fact, I hated being around him since day 1. I even wished him dead a few times. His family life was shit, his mother didn't love him, he didn't have a father, he didn't have many friends. He always considered me and him cousins since I was the closest person he had to a friend. Even though I hated it when he said that, now I realize that he was the closest thing I had to a cousin, so out of respect to him i'll say we were cousins.

    Here's the twist:
    I actually began to like him over the course of the last year. 3 years ago he moved across the country to live with his dad for 2 years. When he came back he was the same old idiot that I hated being around. Well I don't know what exactly happened, but I started hanging out with him a little bit when he came back and I actually grew to consider him a good friend of mine. The last time I saw him was 3 months ago when i helped him fix his grandma's car, but we kept in touch over the phone.

    This morning:
    My mother tells me that he and a friend of his were doing heroin last night (I had no idea he was messing with that shit). According to his friend, they both initially took the same amount but then my cousin did a second dose. The friend says that my cousin starting puking up blood and eventually become non-responsive, so the friend called an ambulance. This was all going down at 2am. The ambulance showed up at my cousins house. My aunt says she woke up from the lights and the doorbell. She had no idea what was going on and by the time she looked out her front window my cousin was already on a stretcher being loaded into an ambulance. He was pronounced dead on the scene. He was 22 years old.

    Here is another twist:
    My cousin has a younger sister (I feel the absolute worst for her). Much like him, she is on a fast path to nowhere. From what I understand, she doesn't get along with the kids at school and she is already starting to drink and smoke. She is 14 years old. Her father is a deadbeat and her mother is an non-functioning alcoholic. Her older brother was really the only person that kind of guided her and looked after her while their mom was out binge drinking. Now he is dead. She is sitting at home in her room right now and her mom is out binge drinking again. I don't know this girl THAT well, I am concerned that something is going to happen to her and that she won't make it past high school.

    My question:
    Should I anonymously call family services and have this girl removed from her mother?
     
  2. wimp

    wimp New Member

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    Do you think you can care enough to mentor her?
     
  3. t-t-t-today

    t-t-t-today New Member

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    No, and I am in no position to do something like that. I was thinking she scan live with a foster family.
     
  4. Spaceering

    Spaceering I bite.

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  5. t-t-t-today

    t-t-t-today New Member

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    can you explain why a foster family would be even worse?
     
  6. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    I think some people believe that all foster parents are shit parents and they only warehouse shit kids in shit homes. I know 2 families that are foster parents and they have their own kids as well. They provide a stable and supportive home for kids that don't otherwise have that in their lives. I guarantee, either of these homes is better than what you've described.

    Unfortunately for this girl, she has a long, painful road ahead. It will be very difficult for her.

    Now, whether or not you should make an anonymous call to help her get out of that situation? Well I don't know all the variables. I'm not there and I don't know what kind of person she is. There are sometimes other options, such as church personnel, other family members, etc. Perhaps you should talk to her about options?
     
  7. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Your concerns are seriously valid, and i also would think a counseller along with foster parents would provide her a better enviroment then any dead beat alcoholic mom could provide. I seriously think that her lackings have send the guy to hell by giving the wrong example of extraordinairy disfunctionality the guy just copies his moms behaviour and ends up in the drain in a simular way.

    The world doesnt need people who wreck the place, but builds it up with something positive, this therefore shows the immediate need for good parenting, which acts like a chain reaction of positive or negative influence thru out the generations for a good or bad outcome, this guy was seriously in a disadvantagous position and thats something thats always needed to be conserned when reviewing his case, if i were you i would definitly try to get the help for her that she definitly needs.
     
  8. bait

    bait New Member

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    It doesn't sound like that's enough for the state to remove the kids from that living situation. It's harder than you think to get kids away from their parents.
     
  9. dancks

    dancks New Member

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    Long term I bet she's a goner and will most likely end up working some shit job the rest of her life (assuming she doesn't fall off the deep end like her brother) and for the time being getting her in foster care would get her out a terrible situation. Thats the best you can do for her at this point (short actually being there for her). hoping she makes it is like taking a subprime mortgage.

    so do it. Maybe it will give you piece of mind or something.
     
  10. Gillzeebub

    Gillzeebub New Member

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    why dont u try and spend some time with her, get to know her, u never know, she might be a lot more grounded than u think.
    As u said yourself, u dont know her that well. Being a mentor isnt necessarily the massive responsibility you think it is. She may not need much more from u than a shoulder to cry on, or ask a few questions about homework, friends etc.
    You should definitely help her, however i think u should learn more about her before u try to remove her from her family. They may not be an ideal family, but perhaps she will be worse off without them and has conditioned herself to do just fine where she is.
     

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