Could use a few tips

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Maffy29, Jun 20, 2006.

  1. Maffy29

    Maffy29 Active Member

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    So I met this girl a little while ago. She's a 27 year old Nurse Aid at a hospital in the area and I met her at a blood drive, she put the needle in my arm. Even though she had a boyfriend, still got her number and we talked and texted off and on. About 2 months ago, her boyfriend broke up with her. I waited a little while and asked if she wanted to go out sometime. She was all about it. We went to a movie over the weekend and had a great time. I got a kiss too! So this is where problems usually arise for me. What is the best way to go from here? We are both busy this coming weekend, so we won't be doing anything again until next weekend or so. I'm definitely interested in her and I think she is interested too. I just have this bad track record of either coming on too strong or not enough. What would be the best way to handle this until we go out again?
     
  2. bandwagon

    bandwagon Copy/Paste

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    You are better off doing less than doing more.

    Give it a few days, call her and say "hey I'm really busy right now, but I'd like to see you again. I'm free X day/time and X day/time. Which of the two works better for you?"

    When you get together again, you have to re-seduce her. Don't assume that you start off where you ended last date. Get her in a positive emotional state, and initiate kino. From there you should be good.
     
  3. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    I think you mean acting a little "coy" as in not calling her right away, correct? Doing less as in not calling her at all is a turn off...

    I would say give it 3-4 days and then call and have VERY specific plans. None of this wishy-washy bullshit. (Sorry Locarius, usually your advice is great but I don't agree! :big grin: ) Call her up, make small talk for about 15-30 seconds, then say "Hey, do you want to go on another date with me? Let's go to [upscale bar/Starbucks/bakery] at [exact time on exact day.] Yeah?" then wait and see what she says.

    You will get one of three responses:

    1. "Yes, I'd love to!" [you're good to go.]
    2. "Yes, I'd love to but I can't because I have other plans. BUT, how about (some other day and time she suggests) instead?" [You're good to go as well.]
    3. "Oh, sorry, I can't, I have plans. (Insert BS excuse here.)" [Bad. Any time you get an excuse it's a blow off. You can either say "okay, maybe some other time" and then get off the phone politely OR you can call her bluff and tell her that's the lamest excuse you've ever heard from a woman you asked on a date, and she needs to do better! (My technique. :naughty: ) This could land you a date, but be warned - she's probably not into you.

    Notice the two first responses are good - she wants to be with you. The excuse is bad. Think about the quality of her answer and go from there.

    Exactly. Joke, flirt, and tease her. Have a good time.

    Personally, I would not recommend going to (a) the movies since you can't talk and flirt (b) an expensive dinner since she may feel pressured to have sex with you, like you are "buying" her time or (c) a party/concert/gathering where you cannot be alone. Remember, if she will go on a date with you sitting on a park bench sipping a coffee, she's into you and not your wallet. ;)

    Good luck!
     
  4. bandwagon

    bandwagon Copy/Paste

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    To clarify:

    Most guys feel like they should go overboard to indicate interest, and this comes off as needy/clingy/miscalibrated/too much for so soon. I just meant that a guy is better off doing less than he thinks he has to instead of doing more as an IOI.

    As for the calling thing, my style is to be vague on the phone, but be firm so they know you have plans but just aren't revealing them. I like to suprise them with plans. For example, I'll say "Bring a swimsuit.", but won't tell them outright that we are going swimming. I don't frame it as being vague, I frame it as being mysterious. Again, all comes down to calibration and personal style. But we agree that you should not spend very long on the phone... 5 minutes is plenty.
     
  5. Maffy29

    Maffy29 Active Member

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    I actually did something very similar to this. We texted a few times the day after the movie and talked on the phone two days later. The plan is to go out again next Saturday and I told her that she'd need comfortable shoes. We talked about lunch sometime next week, but I doubt I'll pursue that now.

    EDIT: When I pick her up next Saturday...good or bad idea to bring her some flowers?
     
  6. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    Very bad idea. No gifts. If anything, ask her to buy you something small, like a drink or a candy bar.

    On the flip side, if you do ask her on a date, it is expected that you will pay for the entire evening, just be sure that she understands it's a "date" and not just you kissing her ass and spending money on her with no expectations for anything more than just friends - make it clear you're dating.
     
  7. DSAzeppelin

    DSAzeppelin New Member

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    I cannot stand cliche crap like flowers....or small little gifts...etc. It doesn't mean anything...it's just a social standard to go through those motions. If a girl gets all mushy for that I just view them as being lame.

    so don't do that. Do something origonal for once. You don't even need to DO anything...but you know what I mean. Don't just go out and pull every cliche move out of the bag and lay it on her.
     

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