SRS Controlling relationships?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by tropical island, Jul 7, 2006.

  1. tropical island

    tropical island New Member

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    I've liked this guy for ages. I used to borrow his old and worn out sweater and wear it for weeks and eventually after about a year well a bit more than a year we went out. But i got soo nervous that i messed up. And even thought it was obvious that he liked me i was convinced that he wasnt and i guess he noticed so he told me flat out that he liked me and he wanted me to know. Which in my head was suppose to make things better. But it didnt. instead it made me more nervous and more paranoid...

    later on after we broke up i realized it was because him saying that was scary for me. I didnt expect it. And i didnt know how to handle it. And i dunno i guess feeling like he didnt like me made me feel like i was in control somehow. Cause after i knew that he liked me and he started making the moves...its like im not the one in control. im not making the moves.

    So i have a control issue and being the girl its a problem because guys usually want to make the first move. How do i fix this control thing?
     
  2. Jay Pheezy

    Jay Pheezy New Member

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    What happened during that year before you first went out?

    It looks to me like he was in the drivers seat of the relationship because you were holding back and he had to just come out and say he had a thing for you to get the ball rolling.

    When he was making the moves did you not want him to that early? or were you just wishing that you could have started making moves?

    Another thing.. Guys naturally want to move quicker than girls so you might have to live with that. MOst of the time you probably have to tell them you don't want to move that fast. You might get the occasional guy who don't rush.. their mostly the proverbial "nice guys."
     
  3. tropical island

    tropical island New Member

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    Ok well that year i was kind of timid and my friend liked him so i did nothing. And then my friend tells me that he likes me. So i we both liked each other for a little while. But we never did anything.
    And eventually i told myself i should at least try. So i was atchually the one to make the first move, such as ask him out and give him "flowers" they were paper flowers actually. But then he took over and started doing the asking out and taking me places and that freaked me out. I dont move extremely slow...im just not comfortable when i'm not the one moving things.
     
  4. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Well you see fear is a state of hell, all of your actions so far have spoken from complete and absurd fear. actually its our number one advice in the Asylum wisdom.

    What is needed in life is not fear, nothing can grow from that ,

    Cast off your fear!
    Look forward!
    Go forward!
    Never stand still.
    Retreat and you will age.
    Hesitate and you will die.

    So just go for gold in your life, you got a mouth in the middle you can take the initiative if you want. I mean personally i would advice you to grab chances in your life with both hands.

    This because chances only come every once in a while, and if some other girl likes him and dates him, you lose =\
     

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