SRS Continious loss and in ability to deal with it v. what is the point

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Paulie Walnuts, Aug 16, 2009.

  1. Paulie Walnuts

    Paulie Walnuts Im an agent of chaos

    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2003
    Messages:
    29,716
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Twin Tities, MN
    Hey guys,

    Today I am pretty damn positive that the girl I am dating of 10 months is going to dump me. To try and make a long story short I had an adverse reaction to her choosing to work a special project at work vs going on this trip to Northern Minnesota. To give a little background we had been planning this the whole summer and I had to keep moving it and its all I have been looking forward to all summer. She sends me the email Friday and I tell her I don't want to see her Friday night. We are text messaging back and forth and I say something to the extent of you made the choice and chose work. Yesterday she wont talk to me and saying she needs time to think and that something snapped in her. She could not say I love you at the end of the conversation.

    I know she will say that it is over today. She is Russian and she does not play games or pussy foot around things like American women. Lets dispense the there are a million women out there blah blah blah crap. My job sucks, my family sucks and without her I truly have nothing. I just dont understand why life blows this bad. Its the same shit for me over and over again. Ive made great strides in my life post separation and then this happens.

    I know that this isn't the greatest description of events but I am so numb to everything right now that its hard to convey everything. We have had ups and downs but with her she takes the down seriously and doesn't take them like normal folks. I love her so much and for a guy like me landing a girl like this is a once in a lifetime girl. I just cant believe that this is all going to be over and its something I continually fuck up.

    I just don't understand why it is that people would want to keep living a life like this. Everything sucks. You screw everything up and its nothing but pain. I'm not suicidal but I often wonder about non-existence. I just don't want to deal with my life anymore. I am so sick of all the pain and so little of the pleasure. I love her so much and I do not want to start this whole thing over again and I don't know if I would or will. I know you are going to keep saying that it hasn't happened yet, but it has its just a matter time before it gets to me.
     
  2. schmitty101

    schmitty101 You might remember me from such films as "Dig your

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2009
    Messages:
    1,560
    Likes Received:
    0
    sucks man. Hopefully things will work out between you two.

    Life is a roller coaster. You never know when one day something unexpected might happen to you and all of a sudden your life will change for the better so just hang in there.
     
  3. 7960

    7960 New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 17, 2004
    Messages:
    60,415
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    New England
    You sound like a decent guy, she sounds like a douche.

    I'm a nice guy and I landed plenty of douches in my day. Trust me, it's not a once-in-a-lifetime thing.


    It'll hurt, you'll cry some, soon you'll realize maybe she didn't deserve that pedestal you put her on, and you'll start talking to other women.

    Btw, you should still go on the trip.
     
  4. Pond Scum

    Pond Scum New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2007
    Messages:
    2,435
    Likes Received:
    0
    Dude,

    How many people do you know that married their first love?

    Think about it. All the people who are in happy, healthy relationships, would not be in those relationships if they stayed with their first love, or maybe even their 2nd, 3rd, or 4th love. Many people who thought they would die without their current lover, went on to meet someone better.

    Her dumping you could be the best thing that ever happened to you, as the girl of your dreams might be right around the corner.

    Now, I am not saying that you should just give up, especially if you really love her, but remember, there are a lot of people who have never been in love. There are people who are so unattractive, they have never even kissed a girl. If you are healthy and live in America, you have 2 things that millions of people would trade their soul for. No matter how bad your life is, for over a billion people in the world life is much worse.

    So, suck it up, send he some flowers and a thoughtful card saying you were a jerk and you had no right to criticize her for putting work first, but that you let your emotions get the best of you because you were so looking forward to spending some quality time with the girl of your dreams. If that doesn't work, fuck that bitch and move on.
     
    Last edited: Aug 17, 2009
  5. jeffswain

    jeffswain OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Nov 1, 2005
    Messages:
    8,912
    Likes Received:
    50
    Location:
    San Diego, California

    i love it!
     
  6. THoC

    THoC New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 5, 2007
    Messages:
    7,341
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    TRampa, FL

    apologize? :ugh:

    not so fast.

    we need more details to assume he over reacted or reacted properly.

    this project.... was it a MUST? if she refused it to go on trip would it hinder her progress with her company?

    if yes, then i can see her taking it and you did indeed over react.

    if it was not a must she was a douche for choosing it over a preplanned trip.
     
  7. Pond Scum

    Pond Scum New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2007
    Messages:
    2,435
    Likes Received:
    0
    More details would help, but he is dealing with a woman, the most irrational creature in the universe, so more details might just make the issue more murky.

    If he loves her and wants to stay with her, either apologize, or blow her off and pretend like he doesn't care. Both strategies carry risk. Some women like to be treated like shit. Some women get bored with a man once they know they have him wrapped around their little finger. He needs to figure out which type of woman he has, one who wants to be treated like a princess, or one who wants to be kept guessing. Then he needs to apologize, or blow her off, if he wants her back.

    I still think the apology would work better, with the very limited info I have, but like I said, both strategies carry risk.
     
  8. Lazy D.

    Lazy D. Active Member

    Joined:
    Oct 10, 2000
    Messages:
    29,766
    Likes Received:
    17
    Location:
    Canada
    :wavey:

    but she left me 8 years later :rofl:
     
  9. Nite_Lilly

    Nite_Lilly Member

    Joined:
    Jul 15, 2009
    Messages:
    383
    Likes Received:
    0
    This..., plus...
    I would look her in the eye, tell her that you understand that the job is important to her. Ask her when she can go on the trip. If she's just making excuses and trying to let you down gently, then she'll be vague. If she's trying to get ahead/keep her job, then she'll be specific and cooperative. Pushing her or putting her on the defensive, or giving her ultimatums will backfire on you.
     
  10. Pond Scum

    Pond Scum New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2007
    Messages:
    2,435
    Likes Received:
    0
    That sucks, how long ago did you break up?
     
  11. civicmon

    civicmon got all my game from the streets of california.

    Joined:
    Feb 23, 2004
    Messages:
    25,647
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    dca -> nyc -> sfo -> san -> phl
    hey man... got a follow-up for us? I'm bad at relationships and shit, but I'm genuinely curious how this turned out for you.

    Keep strong man. "Bitches, they come they go" is how the song goes...
     
  12. Pond Scum

    Pond Scum New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2007
    Messages:
    2,435
    Likes Received:
    0
    in for update.
     

Share This Page