SRS contemplating leaving

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by big 1, Jul 31, 2006.

  1. big 1

    big 1 New Member

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    I need some help OT. I have been with my gf for 3.5 years now. When we first started dating she cheated on me (sleeping around), I was 17/18 at the time and still a virgin. I didn't do anything to deserve it. I treated her like gold. So i got with someone else a few weeks later and was with that girl for a few months and lost my virginity to her. Broke up with her and got back with the GF. Last year one of my friends told me she was emailing her ex boyfriend (whole relationship was based on sex) and was planning on meeting up with him. It supposedly didn't happen but it hurt me alot. A few months later I broke up with her because I couldn't get over what had happened. Immediately I got with a rebound girl and I hit rock bottom. I was doing drugs every day to forget about my gf. It was an escape from everything. I realized that this was not the life I wanted to live. I ended up getting back with the gf again and shortly after I found out that my rebound was pregnant. I went through anger management and emotional counselling in relation to the whole ordeal.

    Now a days, my gf is emotionally distant from me and contemplating breaking up with me but doesn't have it in her to tell me. I started a new job a month ago in which i am gone several hours away every other week and I moved to a new place a few miles from my last home. This week when I came home she wasn't wearing her ring which symbolizes commitment to her and she didn't want to have sex because "she smelt". Her cell phone bill has sky rocketed with long distance calls that hasn't happened before and it is increasingly difficult to get hold of her. She always blames the unwanted baby on all of our issues but she doesn't express theses issues to me, instead uses the internet to talk about it.

    I feel like I am at a road block. I haven't cheated on her in over 3 years although she thinks that I have and I have no intentions to. In fact, I really don't want anything to do with women anymore because of what happened with my babys mother. I don't know what to do with this situation. Am I hanging onto something that is not there or should I hang on?

    Lost in TO.
     
  2. crazy15

    crazy15 New Member

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    dude she cheated on you, and was about to do it again. I would leave her :/ she isnt worth your time. not sure what to do about the baby though :/ its up to you, do you want to be a father? a good one? :x
     
  3. big 1

    big 1 New Member

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    Right now I am thinking no. I know that alot of peoples thinking is i am a dead beat father. this women manipulated me and took advantage of me. She's using this baby just to despite me. She was my counsellor at school (classmate) and she took advantage of my trust in her.
     
  4. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    She cheated on you and that's a huge dealbreaker, and it should have stayed that way after the first time. Instead you took her back and it started all over again with her talking to her ex. You break up a second time. That's twice. She's clearly not a good girl and she's not loyal. What lesson do you think you teach her when you keep taking her back after this? That you won't tolerate cheating? No. You show that she can do these things and get away with it.

    Stay away from her. There are so many loyal girls out there and you shouldn't be messing around with ones that are like this.
     
  5. Cerridwen

    Cerridwen Guest

    Do you share an account with her? http://forums.offtopic.com/showthread.php?t=2638626

    Personally it is well within my own opinion that neither one of you are mature enough to handle a relationship right now. You obviously have some issues you need to work out also. IMO your focus should be on the upcoming birth of your child.
     
  6. big 1

    big 1 New Member

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    yea, we do. She uses my account on occasion. I don't want anything to do with the child as posted above.
     
  7. redna

    redna New Member

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    Way to take responisbility for your own mistakes.
    :rolleyes:
    Dont worry, it'll be fine. I'll end up paying for it out of my paycheck for you.
     
  8. big 1

    big 1 New Member

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    thanks for the good response, jerk.
     
  9. Cerridwen

    Cerridwen Guest

    I can't think of anything to respond with that would fall within the rules of the Asylum so I will say this. I wish you the best of luck in life in finding the maturity it takes to raise a child. I sincerely feel sorry for your child to be born into such a situation, and I hope you grow up and realize your child needs you before it's too late.

    Please wear a condom next time.
     
  10. Cerridwen

    Cerridwen Guest

    It's the truth. You aren't man enough to take care of your child, who do you think will be paying for it?
     
  11. big 1

    big 1 New Member

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    who pays for the babys mothers welfare? Everyone comes attacking me because I don't want anything to do with this women for valid reasons. I am not sucking out of responsibilities, its the circumstances surrounding it.. I will be paying support. Who suffers when the babys mothers new bf is out dealing drugs? Society suffers because more and more people get sucked into drugs and therefore supports crime.
     
  12. bowrofl

    bowrofl New Member

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    :rofl: Drugs don't cause people to cause crime, poverty (& greed) does. If you didn't want to have a kid, you shouldn't have had sex. With sex, comes the risk of a child.
     
  13. chlywly

    chlywly Active Member

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    Sounds like you're lacking self-respect, time to find some... body/mind/spirit :) its about you my friend, grow... move on and grow, become aware of your problem, don't mask it.
     
  14. big 1

    big 1 New Member

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    I was wearing a condom. It fell off during and the babys mother refused to take plan b. Drugs do influence people to take part in crime because drugs cost money and drugs are addicting.
     
  15. Cerridwen

    Cerridwen Guest

    It takes more than money to raise a child.
    edit: I am not here to threadcrap, I just sincerely believe there is more to this issue (after reading your threads and hers) than what it seems. The two of you should seek counseling if you plan on staying together.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 1, 2006
  16. big 1

    big 1 New Member

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    wow......i am the "disloyal gf" and i CAN NOT believe my bf just posted those things about me here. Then again, i post things on the asylum too.
    My bf (thread starter) went away again for 8 days for work. He broke up with me, and said "dont call me until you decide you want to be dedicated to me."
    Which is dumb, because he can no longer be dedicated to me anymore, because he has a child with someone else......i will never be his "one and only"....
     
  17. Cerridwen

    Cerridwen Guest

    Personally I think you have been pretty immature about the whole situation. There is nothing that you can do to change the fact that a child is being brought into this world. You can only accept that fact and move on with your life. OR you can choose to bring it up daily and let it come between you. There aren't many other options besides that. There is no use beating him up over it daily when there isn't anything either one of you can do about the situation. :hs:
     
  18. big 1

    big 1 New Member

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    The thing is that the mother is going to get full custody of the child. My bf will pay support (if the court-ordered paternity test is positive). The mother and her bf are going to raise it. On occaison, (maybe birthdays, or somehting?) my bf will take the kid for the afternoon.
    My bf decided he wiould let the mother raise it, because she was the one who wanted the child in the first place, which i guess is better for the child anywyas in the long run.
    My main issue is that I want my bf for myself, I don't want to have to share him.
     
  19. Cerridwen

    Cerridwen Guest

    Do you realize how selfish that is though? There is always something that you are going to have to share your bf with, he will never be fully yours just as you aren't fully his. You both have your own interests and are seperate people. Does that make sense?
     
  20. redna

    redna New Member

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    I'm callnig bull shit on this whole scenerio.

    I thought the baby wasn't even born yet...
    .

    Pre-natal paternity testing is often times inaccurate or inconclusive, and a judge wouldn't court order one because of that.
     
  21. redna

    redna New Member

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    What the.... :ugh:
     
  22. crazy15

    crazy15 New Member

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    :iough:
     
  23. Cerridwen

    Cerridwen Guest

    Magic8Ball is that you? :mamoru:
     
  24. big 1

    big 1 New Member

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    yes, we are both very different people, but at the end of the day, we come together...( i dont know if that sounded right..):hs:
     

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