I'm 32 years old. Wife is 30 years old. Have been married almost 9 years. Have 2 kids, son is 7 and daughter is about to turn 5. About a year ago, my wife who is more or less computer illiterate, decided something was wrong in our marriage and took every opportunity to find out what was wrong. Through her researches, she found a few e-mails I have received from various friends and such containing some porn. Nothing I would classify as overboard, but apparently she thought it was cheating. I can understand a bit, but I was also confused because I thought we were OK with that based on past experiences. Anyhow, shit hit the fan major. It's been a long long battle, but we've been trying to work it out for over a year now. It's really starting to wear on me. The fights seem to be getting worse and worse. I keep telling myself that if she does one more thing, I'll end it. Kind of like drawing a line in the sand... But then she crosses the line and I draw another and another and another. It's like a never ending cycle I guess. The more and more I analyze it, the closer I think we are to getting divorced. We have good days and bad days. Lately it's been about 1 good day to 5 bad days. She is so paranoid of me cheating on her, she insists on having passwords to every account I have so she can check up on me. She reads all my e-mails, texts, listens to voicemail, etc. Flat out paranoid IMO. I've gone to the extent of changing passwords to help myself feel like I have a bit of control in my life, but it only makes things worse. She keeps insisting that I owe it to her because I am the one who cheated. I really don't care so much about her having the passwords, because I really honestly have nothig to hide. But she finds any little bit of info and immediately finds a way to twist it into something it is not. Always uses everything against me. For the sake of the kids I've tried hard as I may to keep it together. I want so bad for them to grow up in a solid home with a loving mother and father. I just don't see it working out though between us though. I guess I am just scared of the next step. I am completely fucked financially. I have 2 credit cards with balances of over $6k each. Car loans, a house with little/no equity at this point, many many other misc. bills. I do have a $20K 401K account I could tap into if really needed, but by after fees and taxes, it's not much to mention. I've tried so hard to keep my wife happy and show her love, but it seems all she wants is material things to feel that love. It's costing me dearly. I've spent over $20K in the past year just trying to "buy her love" so to speak. I'm out of money, have more debt than I can imagine, and it's getting worse day by day. Paycheck to paycheck. I have many things going on the cc because we don't make enough. She'll be working soon, but it's not much. My wife isn't working currently. She works for the local school district part time and will be starting again in a few weeks. I'm just stressed/worried about the financial logistics and repurcussions of such a decision. Not that it's the major part of my decision making, but it's definitely on my mind. Before my wife started working (last year) she was a stay-at-home mom for the entire marriage. I don't make a ton, but am decent without all the extra bills we've brought on this past year. Because I live in Utah, I'm almost guaranteed not to get custody of the kids, even though she doesn't make enough to support them. I fully realize I'll be paying child support. But my wife seems to think she'll be getting all I make plus some as alimoney. I realize she won't really get that much, but it's of concern as well. She can't pay hardly any of the bills with what little she makes. And I can't afford to move out and pay on both places, not to mention I just won't do it. Through the little research I've done about Utah Divorce Law, it sounds to me like we would be better off with an uncontested divorce. I think we could come to an understanding about all the property division. But the problem will be with the kids. I can't stand the thought of my kids being raised with such little financial support. Plus I just love them so dearly. I cant' stand the thought of being without them. If I must, I'll do my best to make it work, but I really won't enjoy it. I don't see it going uncontested though. From the things she's said this past year, I can see her turning into a major bitch about every little thing. That right there scares me. I don't have the financial ability to fight this. I realize she doesn't either, but she has wealthy family who would definitely help her out so she could stick it to me. Maybe this is just random dribble spewing forth out of my mouth...Sorry if it is. I'm so confused/lost/hurt/poor right now, I just can't think straight. I know my main priorities right now are the kids. I just worry a lot about paying for all the existing bills and possibly getting screwed in a divorce. If anyone has suggestions as to what I need to do to prepare for an ugly divorce, I'm all ears. I've got a lot of ideas already, but I'm sure this one is going to hurt, and cost.