SRS Conquerring Steve

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Alexqzilla, Jul 31, 2008.

  1. Alexqzilla

    Alexqzilla New Member

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    Steve is the name that I've given my doubt, anxiety, depression and lack of confidence my entire life. Every time I truly want something out of life, it feels like Steve is there to tell me it will never happen. Every time I think about what I need to do to feel normal, I hit a mental wall, which we can also refer to as Steve. Steve effects me in every way: Socially, romantically, academically, psychologically, and ultimately makes my life far more difficult than it has to be. I can't love myself. How can I expect other people to love me and appreciate me if I can't love and appreciate myself? Steve has to go. I didn't give the prescription drugs a chance when I was younger and still on my mom's healthcare plan, and I won't have healthcare again for a long time. I've tried counseling, but I'm just too cynical to allow it to work for me. I'm so lost.

    I was discussing Steve with a friend of mine, and he suggested I therapeutically use LSD. I've used it before plenty of times and it's a fun drug, but I've never aimed it at a specific issue and tried to conquer it with the help of a drug. He suggested if I want to do it, I should put myself in a happy, familiar setting, have a pencil and a sheet of paper, and most importantly, a mirror. Because at the end of the day, Steve does not really exist, he's just me.

    And while one would think that since I just wrote that, I must understand that already and therefore already have the problem solved, I can't say that I truly believe it in my heart. I can't just repeat to myself "Steve is not real" because he's always there.


    No, Steve is not a real voice in my head, no, it's not schizophrenia, I just refer to this problem as Steve for the sake of simplicity.


    I guess what I'm saying is I feel as if a possible solution would be to find a place of solitude and confront myself...

    What does the Asylum think?
     
  2. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    The problem is that you are your own worst enemy, instead you need to allow yourself to love yourself, give yourself as many chances as you need, and to support yourself. Stop with stopping yourself. You have the power to achieve anything, you just need to let it go.

    Doubt, anxiety, depression and lack of confidence what benefit have they ever given in your life? what is needed in life is not fear, nothing can grow from that. Cast off your fear! Look forward! Go forward! Never stand still. Retreat and you will age. Hesitate and you will die. So throw away all those things and replace it with a ' I will try or die while i am at it' attitude. Simply not give a fuck at failing at life, what matters really is that when you fall or fail is standing up and moving forward again, for there is no honour in giving up.

    Lets take a look at your life,

    A plant needs space to grow,it needs certain circumstances to prosper, like good soil, water,sunshine ,and even more important a chance to grow. You are the same , you need to allow yourself the chance and the good circumstances to get your life going.

    If you constantly stamp on the ground destroying everything with your negativity, that little seed will never have the chance to grow. that's why Steve needs to go. Everytime steve comes up in your mind you need to say to yourself, Steve you need to leave, and then do everything in your power to give yourself the chances to grow.

    LSD, well let me tell you this what i've learned from addictions is that they lead to nowhere, they are symptom supressors, not problem solvers.

    In life its better to goto the root of the problem and solve the situation that's actually causing the problem, fight the problem not the symptoms.

    So again give yourself a chance, because if no one in this world supports you you better make sure you support yourself. That's why its important to allow and give yourself the support and the chances to grow, while constantly throwing out the negativity ,like eradicating the weed inside your garden. Don't allow the negativity to suffocate you, get rid of it.
     
  3. Alexqzilla

    Alexqzilla New Member

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    I've heard this and many other pep talks, and while I know they're right, I just can't stop banging my head against the wall with it because I have to truly believe in the bottom of my heart that it's right, which I can't.
     
  4. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    There's nothing to believe , only fools believe wise men know for sure. I can mathematically proof to you that its correct. Instead of banging your head, focus on getting things done first ,you need to redirect that energy in a get up n go attitude, what you need is to seriously start kicking your own ass into gear to get things done. Discipline is an art, here's what you do.

    Start small, bake a cake, build a cardhouse, what it comes down to is that you need to start building a pavement for your life instead of worrying what its going to look like,again focus on getting things done first you can always make corrections.

    The cake fails,the cardhouse falls so what thats not important, remember persistance is the key to succes. Keep baking and making adjustments until the cake is correctly finished, and the cardhouse stands.

    No more exuses for yourself, stop thinking in that way and start doing , let me tell you something.

    There was a time in my life when i couldn't get a lot done, the problem was 'thinking'

    You see the moment you start thinking is actually the moment you 'stop' doing. What you need to do is put your mind on zero and just 'do it'.

    Do first, think later. For some people its the other way around, but for people like you and me who's thinking make them stop from getting things done, its better to put your mind on zero and just go for it.
     
  5. Chuck

    Chuck New Member

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    I'm almost positive that the LSD advice is not good advice. Do not take LSD as therapy.
     
  6. Musouka

    Musouka New Member

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    :bowdown:

    Pretty much what I was going to say. The same thing happened to me for awhile. I worried about the future, worried about a lot of things. I just always sat around thinking and never really did anything because I felt like I was searching for some magical answer that would fix it all. You know what I found out? There isn't one. Eventually I realized I hadn't really done anything recently so I just basically said "fuck it", forgot all my worries and started acting. And I tried to not stop and think too much. Of course I still think things through like when making a bigger decision, but my thinking is focused ONLY on making the decision. Otherwise, the thinking is kind of natural, it just happens as I'm doing things.

    So just try doing something, anything (NOT DRUGS) and don't stop there. Keep on trying out things and persist, eventually you'll probably just forget about all of your anxiety if you simply focus on what you're doing. And hey, you never know where you'll end up if you don't try.
     
  7. Lucky Penny

    Lucky Penny Mr. cut me some slack cause I don't wanna go back,

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    at your mom's house. be back later.
    That's not a good idea. If you really want "drug therapy" go to a psychiatrist.
     
  8. Alexqzilla

    Alexqzilla New Member

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    We can call it "Believe", "Know", or anything you want, but no matter how many times I repeat it in my head, and no matter how much I'd like for it to be, it's not a fundamental truth to me.

    I'll try to be more busy and constructive, however. I'll probably buy a jigsaw puzzle or something.
     
  9. Alexqzilla

    Alexqzilla New Member

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    I'm so tired of people saying "Get over it and act!" "Fix it!" "Be happy!"

    I'm more than willing to! But what the fuck do you mean by "Get up and act!" ? What, are you doing pushups? Writing poetry? Drawing? What the fuck is "Get up and act"?

    And I will confidently say that I know two people who have had their perspective on life changed via mushrooms or LSD, in fact, before they were illegal they were used to treat alcoholism and depression. Not that I want this thread to get derailed into a drug debate. I damn sure can't afford Prozac.
     
  10. Musouka

    Musouka New Member

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    We can't tell you what you should specifically do. Only you know. Don't you have any interests you could pursue further? Start there maybe. Or hit the gym if you don't like your body, something like that. There's gotta be some desire you have. Well, go for it.

    But if you just won't listen and try this advice, then you're never going to get better. Listen, I've been in the same position, you feel like it's hopeless. But I tried it anyway since it seemed to be the most common suggestion and you know what, after a while, I liked it. I had to force myself at first, but once I started doing things I enjoyed or tried out new things, life just seemed to become revitalized again.

    Please do not turn towards drugs. Ok, sure, their life's perspectives have been altered by these drugs. Great, but are they really happy? They might say they are, but they've probably either been too fucked up by the drugs to care anymore or they're just lying. Do you really want to live like them? I don't think prescription drugs are the answer either, I've seen too many cases where they just turn people into emotionless zombies. Now, they probably do work for people with real chemical imbalances, but a lot of people just need to get some things fixed with their life and they'll usually be fine.
     
  11. polishillusion

    polishillusion New Member

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    All joking aside (this is CBT)

    Steve sounds like he seems like an asshole to you. How does it feel that a part of you is an asshole?
     
  12. no lol today

    no lol today Soy la bailarina de la muerta. OT Supporter

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    Prescribed drugs are a crock of shit for anxiety. They just mask it for a little while & none of it ever really goes away. You keep on popping pills rather than doing the work it takes to make yourself better. If you're to the point of hurting yourself or others it's a quick fix that can help until sanity is present. If you're leery of the psych route to begin with you're not likely to see a positive result.

    If you want to experiment with psychedelics & are comfortable assuming responsibility for your own actions you're likely to be more inspired. Especially taking a constructive approach. Keep in mind that the inspiration you gain would be intended to help you get the job done - not to miraculously vaporize the issues. Just think of all that you surround yourself with on a daily basis & how you're effected by that presence. Learn to redefine the influence your stressors have over you & your life. Figure out how you can feel free.

    I've done both. Been more happy with the route using most moderation - self experimentation. Feel a sense of accomplishment when all the risks are competently weighed & the outcome is good. Get a negative result for poor planning & bad decisions. Creates a pattern of positive reinforcement - IF you use MODERATION. It's not a cure all, it's a chance to take everything in your own hands - as long as MODERATION is the key to the approach. Feeling helpless & incompetent was me. It's still me, but I'm a lot more ok with it than I used to be. I can let go & enjoy my life.
     
    Last edited: Aug 1, 2008
  13. no lol today

    no lol today Soy la bailarina de la muerta. OT Supporter

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    & PS

    I had an asshole bf named Steve. Never date a man whose friends nickname him asshole.

    He was the most depressing person I have ever met ... took waaay too long to figure it out!

    I think they're born of the same entity ....
     
  14. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    There is only one solution, and its internal. Nothing outside of yourself can solve your problems for you.
    Stop running, and face your problems. They arent nearly as hard when you're fighting them as when you're running from them.

    You can't conquer problems in life by just staring at them because doing nothing, results in nothing. You can't conquer a mountain by just looking at it, you need to do a lot of effort to climb it. And that's why its fundamental that you support yourself and get your own legs in gear to conquer it,not by a giant leap but step by step. Humans are only small, they can only do put down one step each time. For you its time you start making steps in order to conquer Steve.

    Don't allow yourself to be in a comfort zone on where you are right now in life,because once you are comfortable you'll risk becoming lazy and unwilling to tackle your own problems. You need to get over that and press forward in order to move on and improve your life. Because having your life at a halt equals death.
     

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