SRS confusion with ex

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Whojive, Jul 13, 2007.

  1. Whojive

    Whojive Form a Fucking Wall OT Supporter

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    we have been apart 3 days now, we had been on a break before and she decided to be alone for the first time in her life, yet after we talked she did't want to break things off, fast forward to monday samething goes down. wants to be on her own and only wants to talk through email(because "talking to me on the phone changed her mind last time") 1st 2 days no emails, 4 today. nothing big about us, just updating me on her and her families life.

    info on us when dating things moved kinda fast with living together and marriage and kid talk, and up until breakup i was the one she wanted to marry.

    so my dilemma is, my friend thinks she isn't interested. my view is that why email so much if there was no interest. why not have as little contact as possible.



    of course i obviously didn't want things to end so i may be overly optimistic.

    thoughts?
     
  2. 04JETTA

    04JETTA OT Supporter

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    id stay with her and c what happens everyone has issues ul figure it out im sure good luck
     
  3. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    here's a hint: "Break" almost always means "I want to go see who else is out there, probably because I want to be with someone else...but if I can't find anyone else, I will come back to you as a safety net".

    This is still going on. You are being used as a security blanket...she keeps in contact with you so you can be a fallback guy.

    I say, she either commits to you or she doesn't. None of this halfway crap. It only gets you hurt in the long run.
     
  4. maskednegator

    maskednegator Kosmonaut, best we've got...

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    fuck what she wants man. what do you want?
     
  5. Whojive

    Whojive Form a Fucking Wall OT Supporter

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    her
     
  6. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    But she doesn't want you, obviously
     
  7. Frontclip2200

    Frontclip2200 New Member

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    how long were you together?
     
  8. Whojive

    Whojive Form a Fucking Wall OT Supporter

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    friends for a year before being together for 3 months
     
  9. Pringles

    Pringles New Member

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    Id leave her behind. Shes trying to test you to see if your her bitch. If you are go back to her. If not ignore this bullshit games. If she is playing this now imagine 10 years into this when she has some fucked up plan to test you again. Find a chick that strives to get your love, not the other way around.
     
  10. Whojive

    Whojive Form a Fucking Wall OT Supporter

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    true
     
  11. Frontclip2200

    Frontclip2200 New Member

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    yeah man, hate to say it but when they say they need a break, that usually means they need someone else. mattThom actually said it perfectly

    but who knows, in time maybe she'll realize something and come back, thats all you can hope for. but then again, thats kinda like being that safety net.
     
  12. antee

    antee Medium rare please...

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    Ugh breaks never work. Breaks are just for one of you get to get screwed over when someone moves on first.

    I think it's best you move on, find yourself, see other people while not having the fact that you're on a break in the back of your mind. It might screw up potential people you meet.

    As for her, it's because she's not ready to let you go completely. She wants to have her cake and eat it too. She wants to have the comfort of having you around without the obligations. Like everyone said, you're being used as a security blanket. You can choose to take that, or move on and see what happens next.
     
  13. verdiocchi

    verdiocchi Oh snap!

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    I'm going to guess that this is where things started to go wrong. In relationships, it's important to build a good foundation before moving on to more serious stuff like living together or talking marriage. It's possible she just feels overwhelmed or trapped because things have moved so fast and it's all finally catching up with her. Give her some space. Contact her if she's gets a hold of you first but don't push it. She might just need a little breathing room to think about where the relationship is going and if she's really happy with the fast pace you guys have kept up.
     
  14. ///M Pilot

    ///M Pilot New Member

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    I'd agree with that.

    Sometimes a break actually does some good. It helps two people who have been pushed through a lot to achieve some clarity. Most times, however, a break is a nice way of saying "fuck off" without actually putting any real end to it.

    This one to me sounds like she wants to be apart, but instead of cutting you off cold turkey, she wants to gradually wane herself from the tit that is your relationship.

    She might be interested, she might not. However, you can't let her interest level dictate where you want to go with the relationship. If she's gone, let her go. Don't answer her emails. Don't pick up her phone calls. Show her what life is like without you.

    And for God's sake, go out and have some FUN! You're SINGLE now!
     
  15. 04JETTA

    04JETTA OT Supporter

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    update?
     
  16. redna

    redna New Member

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    Dude, with only 3 months invested in her... I'd say just cut off contact and find someone who wants you.

    Relationships will never work when one partner is much more invested than the other. That's what this is... that's how it will always be. Save yourself the trouble and just find someone who has an instant desire to be with you and you with her.
     
  17. Whojive

    Whojive Form a Fucking Wall OT Supporter

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    its over, no more contact with her after today.
     
  18. Whojive

    Whojive Form a Fucking Wall OT Supporter

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    thanks for the advice everyone
     
  19. Asses Maximus

    Asses Maximus Guns don't kill people. People kill people. Guns d

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    :bigthumb: I'm glad you listened to the advice posted in here. I wish I had found OT when I went through a similar situation.
     

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