SRS Confusion - Cheating GF

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by FrankMasterFlash, Mar 26, 2006.

  1. FrankMasterFlash

    FrankMasterFlash OT Supporter

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    Well...I had no choice but to dump my girlfriend of 1 year and 7months. I found out she slept with her ex boyfriend. Out of nowhere apparently, he apologized to her and they started talking behind my back. She lied to all of her friends and all that she is close with that she was talking to him or seeing him. All of her friends are mad at her for what she did. I found out a couple days ago that he slept with her. I confronted her about it and she wouldn't admit it. I gave her 3 chances to admit it and I finally got her to admit what she had done. I told her I never want to see her or speak to her again for as long as I live. This is the first girl I have ever slept with too. I haven't spoken to her since. It's been about 3 days.

    She cried on me and begged me for 3 hours to stay and not to stop talking to her. She is very dependant on me. But I told her that I couldn't keep talking to her. I warned her that if she ever messed around with any other guy it would be over on the spot. The thing that I am confused on is that I flat out hate her and told her that I don't love her anymore. But she sounds sincere about being sorry, but I can't forgive her for what she had done. We had a great relationship up until this happened, and I didn't want to throw that away. She is the one who threw it away. I still want to be with her. I still do care about her. I'll be honest, I do miss her and being around her. She ment a lot to me and I want to do all that I can to forgive her. But it seems like if I go back to her, that I lose all respect to everyone and to myself. That she gets away with it and wins.

    She sounds sincere in wanting to try and be with me. She has broken off all contacts with her ex boyfriend and she is still begging me to come back. She completely broke my heart and I don't know how I can forgive her for this. Should I just not talk to her ever again and drop it like its hot, maybe give it time then maybe talk, or just forgive her for what she did to me(doesn't seem right)?

    I'm in a lot of pain and confusion, and I don't know what to do. Thanks for reading this.
     
  2. Chadder007

    Chadder007 OG Diamond Member

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  3. Pringles

    Pringles New Member

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    BRO STAND YOUR GROUND. It's gonna be a bitch and damn hard. But from my experience once they cheat once they will again. Of coruse she is sorry now, but lets say in 3 months when shes horny again and around her ex BAM it will happen again. She wont change. I learned this from experience I was cheated on twice and thought it would work. Cheaters dont work. You can never look at that person the same knowing they went behind your back with someone else. How can you love someone who isnt loyal to you in return. Right now your doing a damn good job. Stay your path and trust your soul as you seem to be doing the right now. Try to keep your mind busy and over days and weeks it will soon fade.

    I will also say the more you see/talk to her the harder it is to get over her. If you wanna be friends after this it will be hard b/c you will still feel emotion for her after this.

    Basically lose the dirty cheater. Friends if your soul says so.

    Any more help just post it.
     
  4. maskednegator

    maskednegator Kosmonaut, best we've got...

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    cut her loose man. was she thinking about how much she wanted to make things work with you while some other dude was fucking her?
    i also gaurantee that she has not broken off contact with the other guy.
     
  5. :smile:

    :smile: New Member

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    it sucks but you're going to have to let her go. as much as she may seem sincere to you about apologizing, it's most likely just the fact that like you said she's very dependant on you and jsut needs to have you around so as she may seem sorry, she messed up and things like this do not work themselves out
     
  6. johan

    johan Active Member

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    The fact that she's very very sorry about cheating just means she has feelings and is human after all.

    But she still cheated on you.

    Note that I didn't say you couldn't forgive her. You should. But I think your relationship is over.
    You've done the right thing, both in breaking up, and in coming here for a reality check.
     
  7. b-dizzle

    b-dizzle Corporate Man-whore

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    whatever you decide, stick with it 100%.

    you don't want to be stuck going back and forth, trust me
     
  8. onslaught61

    onslaught61 OT Supporter

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    everyone handles this situation differently. you need to decide after you cool off, and think about the positives and negatives of each. personally i dont think i would be able to forgive my gf is she did such a thing. follow your beliefs.
     
  9. Devilish

    Devilish Remind me AGAIN

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    Couldn't have said it better myself.

    She only came clean when you asked her about it. Was she feeling guilty for doing it, or only because you found out?

    There are plenty of other women around that will treat you better than that.

    You have been with her awhile though so no doubt you will feel lost for some time, but time will make the pain less.
     
  10. michaele36

    michaele36 New Member

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    Mabey in 6 months go to threapy with her and work it out if you really want to be with her
     
  11. teo

    teo . => ? => !

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    :hsugh:

    If she was sincere in trying to be with you and the relationship you shared was her first priority, she would have come to you with the information herself and apologized without being prompted. As it was you had to drag it out of her... if you hadn't, she'd have kept the secret even to this day. This is her "I fucked around and now you and all my friends know, dammit, so I have to make the best of this," move - different from an "I fucked up, I'm apologizing, you choose whether to forgive me and I'll respect your decision," move. Cut loose. You can do better. Hopefully it'll teach her a lesson in the process.
     
  12. Colonel Panic

    Colonel Panic New Member

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    The relationship is FUBAR. What was once full of promise and trust is gone and replaced with dishonesty, uncertainty, and manipulation.

    It may seem like the hardest thing to do, but you need to walk away. If you don't, she will know that you can be controlled.
     
  13. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    Your relationship is over. Even if you take her back, your relationship was killed the moment she cheated. You owe yourself a relationship where trust will never be an issue. This one will only hurt you more and more as time goes on and you wonder what she is doing, who she is with, who she's talking to, etc. Move on bro. Be strong. Taking her back, no matter how much you "punish her" is rewarding her for her behavior. If you leave her then maybe she won't cheat on the next guy.
     
  14. supraMKIV

    supraMKIV New Member

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    Move on, even though she is sorry, you will never trust her again. It's gonna be hard, but just cut her off completely and move on. Just remember that she did not tell you on her own about the cheating, and if the relationship was so good, why did she cheat?, she is not worth it.
     
  15. SpectraRedZ

    SpectraRedZ New Member

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    You have to move on. Dont let her come back into your life, because then she'll realize she can be forgiven and you will take her back when she fucks up that badly. SHE is the one who lost something good for her, and one day she'll probably regret it. I know my bf's ex kicks herself in the ass for losing him because of her fuckups. She hates knowing how happy he is with me. She had also cheated on him a few times with someone else he already hated, probably not caring whether he knew or not. (Which caused an on-again-off-again deal for about 6-7 months, til he met me).

    It'll be hard for you since you sound like you were very much in love with her, but someone who does something like that doesnt deserve a second chance. Definitely stand your ground on not letting her back in. Plus, if you let her back, the thought of her being with someone else while you two were together and going behind your back like that will drive you crazy.
     

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