Confused v. Girl v. High School :o

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by manchild, Feb 24, 2008.

  1. manchild

    manchild OT Supporter

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    So I need some help, because quite frankly I need to vent, rant and get some advice because I have no fucking clue what I'm doing, as this is all new to me.

    I'm a senior in High School, and I've been "with" this girl for 2 months and 2 weeks. Basically 2 months and two weeks ago we both got really shitty and hooked up (made out). We both remembered bits and pieces but not more.

    Rewind beyond that. 4 weeks before that, she and her boyfriend of about a year and a half broke up after they both cheated on each other over the summer and just gave up around November. While they were together and after she had joked about hooking up with me, but again i thought it was all a joke.

    Anyways, fast forward to a week after we first hook up. Things were all awkward and we didn't talk during that week, but the next weekend we both said to each other we liked each other and all that high school stuff. So we hooked up, and did the next couple of days until I went out of town after Christmas. I come back a few days after new years, and we hung out a lot, like every night a lot. And if we didn't hang out we'd be on the phone. It was mostly in a group with other people, but I took her to a movie a couple of times or she came over etc.

    So this goes on for a few weeks, seeing each other at school, and hanging out weekend nights, but in a group w/ other people. Anyways, about a month after we first hooked up, one of my friends ended up telling her I had never done anything other than make out with a girl. This had come up earlier, but she was like "I want it to mean something for you" etc. Then, the next day was a weekend, and we end up making out in a closet, which lead to her giving me head, to me fingering her, and us having sex (very short sex, like 30 seconds).

    Anyways, fast forward like 2 weeks. No more physical stuff besides making out, but we're at a party 2 weeks later and we end up having sex again, this time much more meaningful and actually lasting. Fast forward another two weeks, and we have sex a third time, again even more meaningful, which lead to her telling me to "make love to her" and saying that she "loves me."

    So, tonight, we're hanging out again in a group, and we're making out, and she pulls me into a closet, and then just stops and says "This is moving too fast, and I don't want to slow it down but I have to because I'm not ready for it."

    To be completely honest, I really have no idea what to do. Basically she left after we talked, without saying anything else to me, and now she won't answer the phone.
     
  2. 04JETTA

    04JETTA OT Supporter

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    just respect that its what she wants
     
  3. manchild

    manchild OT Supporter

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    What do you mean by that? Something I've left out is that every time she's been the one to pull me into a closet, or say "I want you right now" etc.

    And tonight, driving home from where we were drinking (we were at a bar until like 10:30), she was sitting on my lap in the car and the whole time was making out with me while tugging on my belt, sliding her hand down my pants or grabbing my dick through my jeans and rubbing it. I tried pushing her away a few times and she'd say "you're boring" and just go back at it. And eventually I started doing the same to her and she wouldn't try stopping it at all unless she thought it was too obvious to other people in the car, and still she'd be whispering stuff in my ear in the car.
     
  4. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    She's fucked in the head...pretty much like every highschool-aged girl. What do you want out of this relationship?
     
  5. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    tell her to turn around, you want to fuck her in the ass. it's ok because she'll still be a virgin :)
     
  6. ww_Crimson

    ww_Crimson New Member

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    She'll do whatever you tell her to. She wants to fuck but she feels guilty cause she's young.
     
  7. fray

    fray New Member

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    ugh. high school drama. sounds like she's just saying all the i love you and make love to me stuff because it's dramatic and it's just "what you do" (i.e., in the movies)... but on the other hand is worried that you might actually believe her and take it to mean more than she really means by it.
     
  8. manchild

    manchild OT Supporter

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    @ crimson and Al, well with her ex they fucked a lot, so I know the whole innocence thing is kind of out because every time anything has happened with us (sex or oral or whatever), it might have been me pulling her into the closet/bedroom but she's the one to start taking off clothes and undoing my belt. And there have been times when we'll just make out in a closet or on a bed, so it's not like I knew pulling her into there that something else would happen.

    @ iwishyouwerebeer, I honestly have no idea what I want out of the relationship. I'll be honest and say I'm already attached, which means I need to start keeping my distance because she herself has told me that she doesn't want to hurt me but knows at some point its likely she will because that's how she will. And with spring break coming up she straight up said to me last night "you know I'll probably hook up with other people, right?" Which I kind of have a feeling sparked this and scared her because I was like "uhh, so what have we been doing?"

    @ silver, we've actually talked about how for the most part people only say i love you because they feel they should and it's what people do, which is weird because even after those discussions (which we've had quite a few of) she'll still say it, not often at all and it's kind of an in the moment thing. Like last weekend after sex, and this past wednesday we were both lightly drinking (like me 6 beers her 4) and she gave me head because she didn't shave and wouldn't let me touch her (weird eh?), she said it after that, and then later in the night when the two of us were just standing outside together.

    @ showsquare, she has said that she doesn't want me to get bored and stuff like that, to the point where she kind of messes with me about it. Like she'll push me away when I'm kissing her because she wants me to feel like it won't be easy and wants to see if I'll keep on pressing. The thing that worries me is to be honest I don't really care if we have sex or not, I just like spending time with her. But I'm glad you said what you did in your last post because it kind of made me realize that it is really just not worth it to get attatched here, I mean she says so much stuff in theory and doesn't like planning ahead because with her ex they would plan stuff 3 or 4 months in advance (i.e. homecoming plans etc) and the truth is you don't know if you'll even be together at that point. When she has brought up spring break (which is in 3 weeks) she'll be like "well if we are still together then..."


    Basically I just have to find the restraint to not get attached and just let it be what it is.
     
  9. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    Stopped reading there. Any relationship you guys have started out on a really bad foundation. She had recently broken up, and you guys were both drunk and can't remember it all?

    That's going to create awkwardness, misunderstanding, unclear feelings, etc.

    Cut your losses, get out, and find a girl who you can get a stable foundation with.
     
  10. manchild

    manchild OT Supporter

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    You need to read the rest. Seriously. We both liked each other but were too awkward to do anything, so we hooked up once really drunk and that sparked everything else. That's how high school is, at least around here. It's too awkward to just hang out with someone so at a party or something you'll both be drunk and hook up and go from there.
     
  11. fray

    fray New Member

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    that's just crazy to me. i never drank in high school....
     
  12. manchild

    manchild OT Supporter

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    MOOSEEEEE
    Ahhh shit son, I can't believe that!!!!! Fucking GPN crew, that was so fucking long ago. Wow that is random as hell, I just reset my password, are you still on there?

    And I'm going to read through all of that again :big grin:. Thanks for the help though, looks like some great shit
     
  13. Diesel66

    Diesel66 My standards for women is like rent-a-centers stan OT Supporter

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    fyi hookup = sex not making out


    Women are hard enough to understand, teenage girls are 100x worse.
     
  14. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    lol quit being a faggot.

    some great relationships start that way.

    its not how a book begins that determines how good it is going to be.

    in the end you dont remember the beginnning anyway.
     
  15. poweraid

    poweraid OT Supporter

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    .
     
  16. manchild

    manchild OT Supporter

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    Just to add a few more things. Last night, when all this happened (with the I'm not ready for this yadda yada), she was supposed to spend the night at a friends (she lives about 35 minutes away, does it a lot). Well our talk was at 11:20 last night. She leaves with another of her friends at 11:30, and then her mom picks her up and takes her home. Last night she promised she'd call me later and never did, so I ended up calling her at 12 and 12:45 AM, yeah dumb looking back on it. When I wrote all of my posts in this thread except for this one, I had no idea where she went last night or anything.

    Fast foreword to today, she calls me around noon. I don't answer, and I go to lunch, and apparently she tried calling again but I didn't have service so it seemed like I ignored her call (her friend told me this). Anyways I finally called her back at like 4:30 this afternoon because I wasn't sure what to say. We talked for like a minute (which is weird, possibly the shortest conversation I've ever had with her), and she just said she wanted to do something earlier so we could talk but now its too late. So she's like well we'll talk tomorrow after school.

    I'm just venting at this point. I will be honest though, whenever I'm feeling like shit or something I'm basically going to just read through your posts Moose, you've help a lot and it is really making me realize that its not worth it at this point to get attached, at least not when she's being so moody/distant/confused.

    My question is. Lets say tomorrow she's like "Well I think we need a break." What should I say? To put this a bit more in perspective, people have considered us officially together for about 7 weeks. We go to the same school and we're basically inseparable at school. We talk every night for at least an hour, sometimes much more. Should I just say whatever, I agree. Or should I make it seem like I care? Either way I would care, and really wouldn't want to do it because for her basically a break means we can whore out next weekend, which is an idea I'm not too fond of. But if it'll end up fucking me over the end I'm not going to make a big deal out of it if it's what she really wants.
     
  17. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    I like how you just glossed over that.

    Considering how young you both are, I wouldn't get too attached to this girl.

    Anyways, you've had sex 3 times and now she's wanting to back off. That's a sign that she feels like she's doing all the "work" or the "seducing". It's also a sign that you are getting too clingy.

    Don't talk to her for a couple of days and go date someone else.
     
  18. fray

    fray New Member

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    "Oh, sure. I didn't realize we were officially together anyway." would play it off nicely, but it sounds like you don't want her to think you don't care.
     
  19. manchild

    manchild OT Supporter

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    That wouldn't work, we refer to each other as boyfriend and girlfriend, and when i talk to her friends about certain things, like what I should do, they'll be like "You should be mad, you're her girlfriend." And its on facebook (I know that sounds so high school/retarded but apparently it's a big deal to her). I know for a fact that line won't work.

    I'm not sure if you all are getting this but we spend a ton of time together. If I were to just not talk to her it would be way out of the ordinary, hell tonight will be the first night were we don't talk (excluding the shitty 30 second conversation we had earlier about talking tomorrow) since anything happened.

    And some might say I should do it just be an asshole, except that's not how I am, and I know thats one of the things she's attracted to about me is how I'm pretty damn sensitive as far as high school guys go.
     
  20. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    Honestly dude, it just sounds like she needs some space. Give it to her.

    Take about 3 days "off" from her where you don't talk to each other. Get lives outside of each other. Seems like couples get together and just spend too much time together anymore.

    You shouldn't be seeing or talking to each other more than maybe 1 or 2 times a week at the very MOST in the beginning.
     
  21. manchild

    manchild OT Supporter

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    Well we go to school together so that won't work (small private school=230 students=3 classes with her). And we really rushed past the whole only talk to each other once in a while. As of now, unless there is something that is a good reason not to, we're talking tomorrow after school about what happened last night and everything.
     
  22. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    You can't help seeing her at school. You CAN help seeing her and talking to her at night. She's saying that you are getting clingy and wants some breathing room. Give it to her dude.
     
  23. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    do what I did with my gf in high school...see each other every day at school (during classes, don't force it), then actually get together and hang out on the weekends.
     
  24. manchild

    manchild OT Supporter

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    Well did you talk at all after school? Like school nights or anything would you ever talk on the phone?
    We've only done stuff on school nights like 5 times, 2 were school hockey games and those were with a group, 2 more were with also with groups when we were all drinking (2nd semester senior + thirsty thursdays ftw), and the last was valentines day when we went to a movie. But like I've said we'll talk a lot on week nights.
     
  25. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    DON'T. Unless it's class related stuff. You see each other every day at school, you don't need to run home and talk on the phone for hours. Jesus man, does your life revolve around her?

    Do your homework, watch tv, play video games, whatever. You see her a little bit 5 days a week, hang out once or twice on the weekends, there should be no real need to talk to her after school. Save something to talk about for the dates!
     

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