Confused as hell(about ex)

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by StuDLei, May 12, 2005.

  1. StuDLei

    StuDLei Death before Dishonor

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    Just a little background for those who are unfamiliar. I have been gone in Iraq for the last seven months and was away three months before that for training in California. I live in Iowa. Anyways, things between my gf and I got really "bad" a few months into Iraq. Five days after I got home, she broke up with me. Said she didnt know what she wanted and her feelings had changed and that she just "couldnt do this right now because theres too much "bad stuff"(arguments, things said). So she split. Anyways yesterday I get this email from her telling me that on her bday(May1) she has decided to go to the gym(aspen) 4-5 times a week and the other days she is gonna go walk at the park or whatever. Okay now, while we were together, she told me several times that she was going to go 3-4 times a week and she would for a week or two then stop. It was a fairly big deal to me, I want a girl/ wife who does something to stay fit/stay active. I dont think there is anything wrong with that. I told her everyday how beautiful and sexy she is, but me wanting her to go to the gym with me still presented hard feelings towards her. Anyways she knew it was important to me. We kept going in a cirlce of arugments or whatever about the whole topic. Didnt even talk about it hardly AT ALL while I was away..but while I was away she wrote me this "big" email about 3 months in with all of these concerns she had about our relationship. One of things she mentioned and had a problem with was me wanting her to go to the gym. She told me that that just isnt the person she is and she will never be the type to go to the gym 5-6 days a week( I NEVER expected or asked that). Blah blah blah, now she writes to me telling me if I ever want to go lift or walk with her that she would like that. Why is she doing this? Why all of the sudden is she gonna become a gym rat? I never expected that, just told her that its important to me that the girl I am with does something active a few times a week to stay fit, etc. ( I am a Marine btw). Im confused as hell. My ex is not fat. she never was while i was with her. she has always been somewhat thick but I like that..i told her that all the time. whenever she was havin a "fat" day i would try to make her feel better and get her laughing/happy again. Im sorry this is long and I dont have cliffs. So if you read all this and ur pissed now cuz you dont have anything to say. sorry :fawk:
     
  2. Beesgirl

    Beesgirl Happy

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    Sounds like you two had differences. For one, a girl never likes to be called thick, even if you "like them like that". The best way to make someone love you, is to make them love themself. This is a pretty easy statement to understand, so I am not going to explain it.

    Sounds like you need to meet someone who has more similar interests as you. Opposites might attrack, but its people with common interests that last longer. As for why she suddnely wants to get into the gym, who knows. Maybe this is her effort at trying to work things out? But she has already made it pretty clear she doesnt like to go to the gym and she shouldn't change who she is for you. She shouldn't have to either to make the relationship work. Good luck. :)
     
  3. StuDLei

    StuDLei Death before Dishonor

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    Its not a secret that she was "thick." So when she was feeling down or complaining about it I told her "so what you are an extremely attractive girl and alot of guys like a girl that isnt tiny." etc etc. I agree completely with the best way to make someone love you is to make them love themsleves. And I did just that. As far as she shouldnt change who she is for me...FUCKING AY. Every relationship eventually requires some changes, differences or compromises from each party. There is nothing wrong with that at all and ultimately I think is required for a relationship to work. I never asked her to be a gym freak. Just wanted her to go sometimes(which is something she told me SHE wanted and wanted me to get her motivated about). But back to what I was saying, I never asked her to change who she is completely, fuck. She wanted me to "change" and stop smoking or to "change" and not reenlist and to "change" and whatever. Thats fine. They arent bad things. Things or people(whichever you want to say) eventually have to bend or "change" to help things work.. I hope I am making sense with all of this.
     
  4. kronik85

    kronik85 New Member

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    could we get some edits and cliffs put in? i'm lazy
     

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