Conflicted...

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by XaPU!M, Jul 10, 2009.

  1. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    This is an old thread, but I just put a funny update on the 3rd page which I didn't see coming

    So last night a real close buddy of mines girlfriend put me in a weird position. She was driving my drunk ass home and told me how she is thinking about leaving him in the next few months if he doesn't cut WAAAAAY back on his drinking.

    The reason I'm conflicted is I would love if this girl was no longer in my life, I can't stand her. However, he obviously sees something I don't and it's not fair of me not to tell him this because I would love to see her gone...

    But at the same time, it isn't any of my business anyway... but we're really good friends and I know he'd appreciate the heads up so he can try and work it through with her.... I think, he may not want to hear it or think I'm making shit up, I dunno.




    So do I tell him what she said? She made me swear up and down that I wouldn't, but the armchair psychiatrist in me thinks that she wouldn't have told this to one of his closest friends if she didn't actually want me to mention it to him... Though she said the reason she told me is the same reason a lot of people tell me shit I don't want to know... I'm just generally a nice guy (not wolfskymoon type of nice guy, just a generally easy going nice dude).
     
    Last edited: Apr 20, 2010
  2. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    And for the record, him cutting back on his drinking is just to save money (economy sucks, so saving is harder), plus she just doesn't think it's necessary for him to drink anywhere near as often as he does. He doesn't hit her or anything fucked up like that.
     
  3. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    My response is conflicted as well. Here are my thoughts:

    1. Dude is your friend and likes this girl and deserves to know how she feels.
    2. It's not your business.
    3. She told you in confidence (however much I might disagree with her for doing that).

    So I guess I'm 2v1 against you saying anything. I agree she put you in an awkward position, but I think your best bet is to stay out of it. Ultimately, it is between them and should be between them. I would say if you want to do anything, you should encourage her to talk to him about the issue.
     
  4. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    Apparently she did around the turn of this year, and he promised he'd cut back... but then never did.

    I really wouldn't mind not saying anything because it'd benefit me (she'd be out of my life), but at the same time I'd feel like a dick knowing I possibly could have saved him the heartache/headache of breaking up and splitting everything they own 50/50 etc.
     
  5. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    How long have you know him and her?
     
  6. Ford4Life

    Ford4Life Guest

    Maybe she told you to see if you have any interest in her......could be looking to trade your friend for you.
     
  7. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    Well frankly, I think not telling him is the right thing to do anyway, so if I were you, I'd just forget she ever said anything and let the chips fall where they may.
     
  8. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    6-7 years, I've known them as long as they've been dating. Though my loyalty and friendship is purely with him. This girl has been annoying me for far to long.
     
  9. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    Well shit. If she's already confronted him about it, and you want her gone, then don't say anything to your friend.
     
  10. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    Absolutely positively not possible.
     
  11. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    I'm trying to look at it though as if I didn't care she was gone or not. Yes I don't like her, yes I'd like her gone. But at the same time how many people would like a heads-up about their relationship so that they could keep the person they love?
     
  12. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    Sounds like he was already given a heads up from her before.
     
  13. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    Well if they've already talked about it AND she told you not to say anything, I'd say it really is out of your hands. Sticking your nose in any further would be meddling in my opinion. He knows how she feels already. If he has continued to do it despite her objections, then it seems pretty obvious to me that things have run their appropriate course.
     
  14. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    This does make sense...

    Think I'll start buying the party supplies now so I'm ready to celebrate when she's gone.
     
  15. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    :rofl::bigthumb:
     
  16. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

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    i agree.

    she told him its bothering her. he is doing nothing about it. you wouldnt be telling him anything new.
     
  17. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    bros before hos.. tell him straight up duh
     
  18. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    That's more "don't fuck over your boys for a chick" type of thing though.

    I'm not fucking anything up for him, and it really isn't any of my business... But I still think he'd appreciate a heads up...

    Fuck I wish she would have kept her mouth shut last night :wtc:
     
  19. HuskiRuski

    HuskiRuski Cardinal Fan

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    if he finds out you knew, say you were blacked out.
     
  20. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    :werd: Alcohol was involved so you don't even have to worry about the fact she told you anything.

    Seriously though, I'd just keep my nose out of it. Or if anything, be very careful how you handle it. Getting wrapped up in their shit is NOT what you want to happen. You tell him, he tells her, then suddenly YOU're in the argument.
     
  21. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    Yeah I definitely don't want to get involved more then just saying "Maybe you should listen to your bitch of a gf and not drink so damn much"...

    If I actually got pulled into it neither of them would hear from me until the dust settled... which I don't exactly want either.

    I think keeping my mouth shut is the best idea. It's gunna suck (for him) when he has to give up 50% of his shit
     
  22. HuskiRuski

    HuskiRuski Cardinal Fan

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    do they have some sort of legal agreement? seems strange to give up 50% of your stuff to an ex-girlfriend.
     
  23. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    They've lived together for ~4 years. In Canada that makes you basically married in the eyes of the Gov't. And she doesn't own a whole hell of a lot and finally in years I've known her has a steady job that pays decently.
     
  24. Dahlia

    Dahlia Active Member

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    This happened to me as well. I drove home with a friends bf while she took her car. He told me that he was planning to leave her as well, that when his ex from back home moved down to florida, it would be over, 100% for sure. I don't remember or not if he told me not to say anything to her, but you bet your ass I went straight to her when we had a free moment and told her.

    It ended up not coming true and a long time later broke up for different reasons, but I was not going to see my friend get hurt over something like that. I have no loyalty to the guy whatsoever, and if they break up it's not like I will see him again, so whats the point in hiding something from a good friend over a stupid broad?
     
  25. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    I wouldn't worry about it.

    Do you really think she's just going to up and leave him? Hell, I've heard women say "This is it! This is over!" because of stuff like this and they still hang in there for another 4 or 5 years.

    Sorry for you, though, cause you and I both know she isn't going to leave him. :big grin:
     

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