confidence vs arrogance

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Zackkahry, Sep 7, 2009.

  1. Zackkahry

    Zackkahry New Member

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    So I'll start off by saying that I'm a pretty big asshole. I generally don't care about people who I'm not friends with, I'm very sarcastic (which strangers seem to never 'get') and cocky. I've been told I come off as arrogant quite a few times, and I would like to replace this perception with confidence, as it seems to be a fairly fine line. I've toned down making sarcastic remarks (which is boring, because I'm hilarious), try not to act like an asshole, and at least give the impression that I care. :coolugh:

    But on to the point: Where is the line between arrogance and confidence, and how does one transition from the former to the latter?
     
  2. BoomBoomBoy

    BoomBoomBoy Guest

    You sound like you have a pretty aggresive personality. Tone down the sarcasm. While you might find yourself hilarious, others might not. Particularly if they don't know you that well.

    Carry on!
     
  3. kungfuwoo

    kungfuwoo New Member

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    Just know your limits. Pushing them once in a while is fine...surpassing them all the time makes you a person people don't want to be around.
     
  4. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    Here's your underlying issue.

    Change this outlook and you'll change the way people perceive you.
     
  5. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    Maybe your problem is that you are just an asshole. Treating strangers badly is a sign of you being a disrespectful ass lacking in empathy, common social graces, and kindness is general.
     
  6. jonno

    jonno New Member

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    realize that there are quality/cool people out there outside of your group of friends.
     
  7. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    I'm as sarcastic as they come, and I'm told I'm waaaay more arogent then I should be... if only those people understood that I truly am as awesome as I say then they wouldn't say such things... one day... one day...

    I have no problem meeting people though because if they don't like it their free to fuck off, which happens. However, those that get over themselves and understand that some people are just outwardly more confident then most get me and then fall into the trap of also thinking I'm awesome.

    My guess is that you're incongruent, you think you are awesome or try to portray that your are awesome, it just doesn't come across as 100% more awesome. So either start over compensating for lack of awesome or start being more awesome.

    I honestly can't spell it out any clearer :dunno:
     
  8. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    Just remember you can't please everyone. I'm sure there's girls out there that would find even George Cloony "arrogant"
     
  9. Zackkahry

    Zackkahry New Member

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    Yeah, I've pissed people off because I usually have a very dry delivery, and then have to explain or have a friend explain that it was a joke. If you haven't ever met me or hung out with me, or if you have a shitty sense of humor, chances are we're not going to hit it off.


    Sounds like we have very similar outlooks and personalities.
     
  10. Zackkahry

    Zackkahry New Member

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    This is what I'm starting to do. Honestly, I was talking to my mom and she said I need to cut it back 1/4, so I'm making a conscious effort to say less of the things I would normally say.
     
  11. Zackkahry

    Zackkahry New Member

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    That's why i prefaced with "I'm an asshole"

    I know it's not a healthy thought process, but I'm working on it. I just have no desire to try and impress other people, either you like me or you don't. Fuck it. If it wasn't for being single, I wouldn't bother trying to change at all.
     
  12. Squally

    Squally New Member

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    The smartest man in the world knows he doesn't know everything.

    For my entire life I've been told that I'm very confident in my actions; the way I walk, talk, work, etc. However, I know that I'm confident but also know that I'm not perfect. To me, that's the line. Know what you are good at, know you can control a situation, just don't let it be what you are all about. The knowledge that you can do something should be enough to make you feel good about yourself without having to make sure everyone else knows it too. Enjoy your life and what's around you and other people will pick up on that.
     
  13. Dio Seijuro

    Dio Seijuro New Member

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    You pretty much know the difference already: being an asshole makes you arrogant instead of confident. Start by stop being an asshole. This will not guarantee that people see you as confident--many other factors are involved--but this will at least help you appear less arrogant.
     
  14. Diesel66

    Diesel66 My standards for women is like rent-a-centers stan OT Supporter

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    remember it's not sarcasm if you are just being an asshole. It's just plain, being an asshole.
     
  15. greenpillow

    greenpillow New Member

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    A S S H O L E... ASShole hes and asshole
     
  16. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    self deprecating humor ftw
     
  17. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    :werd:

    If you can't laugh at yourself you shouldn't be laughing at all.
     
  18. giz

    giz Active Member

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    honestly I feel like I could have written everything you have in this thread. I'm very sarcastic and very dry. I'm also delusional when it comes to ego. but I have no problems making friends with everybody. I compliment people and tell them exactly what I like about them. I also laugh a lot. probably annoyingly amounts. I'm genuinely interested in other people. I also understand that sarcasm isn't for everybody and I try to tone it down - I can be funny in other ways if I feel compelled to. I've been called rude, arrogant, an asshole, a jackass, etc. and yet all the people who call me these still consider me their friend.
     
  19. Kev07

    Kev07 New Member

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    You probbly have an underlyin urge to view yourself as better than others, whether you are or not is a different and irrelevant topic. Condescendance is not congruent with confidence
     
  20. wolfskymoon

    wolfskymoon Guest

    this. You will never change, even for women. Just wait till someone comes along and finds the feast inside the beast. If anything you will start drinking and doing drugs to come off as a "softer" person, but that will make you go emo on yourself. You will also hate yourself for going against your own morals and beliefs that you have stood by for so long, which made you who you were in the first place.
     
  21. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    Treating people decently is not "trying to impress" anyone. If the only time you are not spewing "sarcasm", condescension and general bad vibes is when you are trying to impress someone, what does that really say about who you are?
     
  22. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

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    Just shut up
     
  23. Bob Brown

    Bob Brown bewshit, bewshit, bewshit

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    :wtf:
     
  24. Kev07

    Kev07 New Member

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    :rofl: i think that everytime he posts
     
  25. knarxed

    knarxed New Member

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    To me, the difference between arrogance and confidence is that arrogance, you have to let people know you can do X (being able to do it or not is irrelevant), where confidence is where you KNOW you have a high chance of doing X and don't have to show it.

    If you are funny, don't tell me you are funny. Make me laugh.
     

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